I'm sorry you think I hate you
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Anonymous
| Because you're awesome and we have a lot in common. In many ways you are the better version of me. I can see us being besties. However things are what they are , and I'm in love with your husband so there's no possible way we could be friends. I can't be your friend when I wish you didn't exist and I had met him first. It would be easier if you were someone completely different so that I could hate you, but I can't because you are so much like me that I think it's confirmation he would have fallen for me too. So just know that when I avoid you when I keep my distance it's nothing to do with you because you're great and I do wish we could be friends, but I have to keep my distance from you and your husband. |
Anonymous
| Are you having an affair with her husband or just in love with him from afar? |
Anonymous
| Unrequited love sucks. I used to fall for unavailable men. Therapy is the only thing that helped me. Be happy. |
Anonymous
Not having an affair but I feel like that would happen if I didn't keep my distance, so I'm distancing myself. |
Anonymous
This is the first time I've really fallen for an unavailable man. It does suck. Interestingly I'm working on restarting therapy for other reasons. |
Anonymous
| Good for you OP. |
Anonymous
| Well quit obsessing about the wife. That’s super creepy. I doubt she cares how you feel about her. Get over yourself. You’re imagining she’s jealous or he also is pining over you. |
Anonymous
I don't read that at all. It might even answer someone's question as to why an acquaintance seems standoffish. |
Anonymous
It is still super odd and imagining a pressing concern in someone’s head space which sounds misguided and nonexistent. Inflated importance. Sounds like classic narcissism. “I know you’re thinking about how I hate you.” |
Anonymous
I don't see that OP thinks the wife is jealous. I think if anything she's jealous of the wife . Op isn't obsessing but trying to work out her feelings and knowing she can't be friends with someone she otherwise would because of her feelings for the husband. Also don't think op is saying the husband is pining for her just that she could see them together. |
Anonymous
I don't think it's narcissism. It's someone struggling with being in love with an unavailable person. This happened to me because I had issues stemming from emotionally unavailable parents. I worked them out, and now I'm married to someone who loves me back, but I still have issues with intimacy! I don't think I'm a narcissistic, though... |
Anonymous
+1 Some of what you are saying OP is not great (like believing that since you are similar, this guy would have fallen for you -- life is way more random than that) but in general you seem to understand this situation well and making mature choices to protect yourself and others. It sucks that people will likely interpret your actions the wrong way, but good for you sticking to what you know is right. |
Anonymous
No more narcissistic than thinking you know the entirety of ops situation. The wife could be wondering people post about it every day wondering why someone doesn't seem to like them or why they were ghosted by someone they thought they hit it off with it's not like she can tell the woman the truth that she's in love with her husband . So op posted it here. It's a vent. |
Anonymous
| The silly thing is that most men don’t, in fact, want to get it off with someone similar to their wives LOL |
Anonymous
| OMG get a hobby, OP. |