Is this depression? or do I just need a break?

[Anonymous]

I'm not super unhappy and thinking of ending it all or anything, but everything these days feels like a tedious chore, even the supposedly fun stuff.
I'm less interested in things, even my favorite things, have trouble motivating to do stuff and make decisions, have trouble focusing, etc. Life just feels like an endless tsunami of crap to deal with, and even things that should be fun, aren't.
I could just really need some time to recharge (like, I would love a few hours alone at home without my beloved family...that would be huge. Have not had more than about 1 hour home alone during entire pandemic.)
Am I depressed, or do I just need some me time?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you need a break on a consistent basis. If you find that it doesn’t impact anything and/or you find that things like appetite, sleep, relationships are impacted, you might want to look into getting screened for depression with a mental healthcare provider.

What is a way you can get some time to yourself? Do you have a partner? Can you plan for 2 hours alone on a Saturday or Sunday?

[Anonymous]

Both. Absolutely both.

[Anonymous]

Definitely sounds like potentially depression op, I would reach out to someone! Medication plus therapy can be so helpful. And also like the other poster said, also me time! But depression definitely isn’t always about being sad or having suicidal ideation, why you describe aligns very well with the other symptoms

[Anonymous]

Or is it languishing? I found this article really resonated with me:

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/04/19/well/mind/covid-mental-health-languishing.html

[Anonymous]

Start with trying a vacation. See if that re-sets your attitude. One of those vacations where you stay in a hotel with just your spouse or alone and hang out doing yoga and hiking and looking at water, and reading fun books and magazines.

Then when you have done that, tell your partner to take the kids out of the house each weekend from 7-noon. Or whenever they wake up until noon. Sleep in, take a long shower, watch trashy tv for an hour, call an old friend. Use those mornings for YOU.

[Anonymous]

Hey OP I have a miserable day everyday especially since the pandemic started. Tantrums dishes tantrums work whining snacks whining conference call bath time tantrums cleaning work sleep.

If someone walked up and shot me I wouldn’t give a shit. A break won’t help everyday will just be shit.

[Anonymous]

OP I am feeling the same way and I do think this is distinct from depression. I've had diagnosed depression several times in my life, both as a young person and an adult, including a bout with PPD. For me the difference between what I'm currently doing and my experience with depression is that I can keep going right now. It's just a slog. Previously, when I'd have a depressive episode, I'd hit a point where my desire to lie in bed in do nothing, and my general apathy about everything, actually impacted my ability to do my life. I'd start taking sick leave at work, canceling all my social commitments, avoiding people, etc.

But right now, I'm still delivering on all my commitments. Part of that is just being a parent, but I know from my PPD that it's not a given -- a serious depressive episode can really impact your ability to parent when you need to. Right now, I'm doing everything I need to. Even a lot of the social commitments right now, because we didn't really have them for so long and I feel an obligation to my family and friends to show up right now while we can, even if it's not really making me happy.

What I am currently anticipating is that the minute it is possible for me to do so, the depression will hit. I think once my kid is attending school again and there is a smidge of breathing room in my day to day, it's gonna hit. I'm trying to get my ducks in a row so that when it does, I can handle it. Looking for a therapist, investigating medication options, figuring out how I'm going to approach sleep, exercise, and eating this fall so that I don't fall off a cliff. And also reminding myself that I don't need to be productive when the break finally comes. That I can just take a few weeks of being mediocre at work (or even taking some time off) and taking care of myself.

Be kind to yourself. We're all at the end of the end of our ropes.

[Anonymous]

You might just have burnout. I am burnt to a crisp right now. I have a business trip coming up that in pre-COVID times I would have absolutely made a family trip. Now? They must allllll stay home.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you try building in some regular time for yourself over the next few weeks and see if it helps.

[Anonymous]

Send the family to a park that is an hour away.

[Anonymous]

We aren't supposed to live like this.

[Anonymous]

Book a hotel room for the weekend.

[Anonymous]

You need some regularly scheduled time to yourself. If you can’t manage in within the house, go somewhere else. During that time, call a friend, get a coffee or simply sit in your car…alone. Perhaps a meditation app could help. You are understandably tired.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a spouse? If so, why have you only had an hour to yourself this entire time?