Reply to Is this depression? or do I just need a break?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP I am feeling the same way and I do think this is distinct from depression. I've had diagnosed depression several times in my life, both as a young person and an adult, including a bout with PPD. For me the difference between what I'm currently doing and my experience with depression is that I can keep going right now. It's just a slog. Previously, when I'd have a depressive episode, I'd hit a point where my desire to lie in bed in do nothing, and my general apathy about everything, actually impacted my ability to do my life. I'd start taking sick leave at work, canceling all my social commitments, avoiding people, etc.

But right now, I'm still delivering on all my commitments. Part of that is just being a parent, but I know from my PPD that it's not a given -- a serious depressive episode can really impact your ability to parent when you need to. Right now, I'm doing everything I need to. Even a lot of the social commitments right now, because we didn't really have them for so long and I feel an obligation to my family and friends to show up right now while we can, even if it's not really making me happy.

What I am currently anticipating is that the minute it is possible for me to do so, the depression will hit. I think once my kid is attending school again and there is a smidge of breathing room in my day to day, it's gonna hit. I'm trying to get my ducks in a row so that when it does, I can handle it. Looking for a therapist, investigating medication options, figuring out how I'm going to approach sleep, exercise, and eating this fall so that I don't fall off a cliff. And also reminding myself that I don't need to be productive when the break finally comes. That I can just take a few weeks of being mediocre at work (or even taking some time off) and taking care of myself.

Be kind to yourself. We're all at the end of the end of our ropes.[/quote]

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