WWYD? or what should I do? Boyfriend crying

[Anonymous]

Newish relationships met have been friends/hanging out since last October only dating since February and exclusive since April. We went for a hike this morning with our dogs, we end up talking about his late wife, which ended up with him crying. I held his hand and rubbed his back until he was done. The rest of our hike was silent, when we got back to the car he was apologetic and also canceled the rest of our day together. We were supposed to have brunch, watch a movie. I told him it was fine. That was at 9:00, I sent him a text about 2 hours ago just to make sure he was okay, I see that he has read it, but he hasn't responded. Should I just leave him be and let him call or text me when he's ready? Should I ask if I said or did anything to upset him? I don't mind that he cried but I don't want to have triggered anything.

[Anonymous]

Just leave be. He will be ok. Sometimes men like to grieve alone.

[Anonymous]

It's same day!

[Anonymous]

Be prepared to move on.

[Anonymous]

You handled it well, but give him his space now. He should be the next one to reach out.

[Anonymous]

It’s okay even if you did trigger! If my mom dies is everyone supposed to stop mentioning their moms forever? No. I have to learn to live in the world without the person I loved. So does he. Back off and let him be the one to next reach out.

[Anonymous]

Wait for him to reach out. You handled it well and he’s just going through it right now.

(I’m a widow)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait for him to reach out. You handled it well and he’s just going through it right now.

(I’m a widow)

This. I’m sorry. It’s so hard to lose someone you truly love. Be prepared that he’s not ready for a relationship just yet.

[Anonymous]

He might be embarrassed. He might be thinking it's evidence that he's not ready to move on yet. Hard to say. Wait and see what happens next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He might be embarrassed. He might be thinking it's evidence that he's not ready to move on yet. Hard to say. Wait and see what happens next.

+1 He was extremely vulnerable with you. He might be thinking you think he's a wuss or that he's turned you off, and you'll no longer be interested. Let him have his space for now, but if you're truly interested., and haven't heard from him by the end of the week I'd reach out again. Not an " Are you ok?" type text though Send whatever kind of text you would normally send indicating you want to talk or hang out with them on the weekend.

[Anonymous]

Give him at least 3 days without worrying about you & your feelings.

[Anonymous]

DP here. I commiserate fully. Its my brother's wedding anniversary today. He lost his wife 3 months ago. He is in deep pain right now. It is heart wrenching for us too (having lost a SIL, DIL, aunt etc) and so I cannot even fathom how hard it is for my brother.

OP, give your date some space and remember that his reactions while grieving his wife is normal. I am glad that he is crying. It is so much better than trying to be brave and bottling up the feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be prepared to move on.

What? No.

OP, give him a week or 10 days to reach out to you. If he does not, text him to make plans. Even if it is with friends.

[Anonymous]

He’s working through his grief. It’s not a smooth process, it comes and goes in waves. If you care about him, be patient.

How long ago did his late wife pass away?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait for him to reach out. You handled it well and he’s just going through it right now.

(I’m a widow)

Another window here (and I was only 29, so lots of dating/relationship experiences came after) and I agree. Also know that his wife could be dead 20 years and he may still have a moment that catches him off guard. You handled it well, but don’t expect it to go away anytime soon.