DW lays in bed with 4 year old at naptime

[Anonymous]

DW lays in bed with 4 year old DS at nap time. She says that it's because he won't go to sleep otherwise, but in truth, I think she just likes it. Problem is that I think he's getting a bit old for that, and her constant presence is preventing him from developing the independence on how to do it on his own. Is this a problem? Will this prevent him from developing the independence he needs to handle nap time on his own?

[Anonymous]

Does he have problems sleeping alone at bed time?

[Anonymous]

Does she just want the excuse for a nap? Because my husband and I sometimes lie down with our toddler...we could put him in his crib...but we're really tired.

[Anonymous]

He is about to age out of nap time anyway. Seems harmless if your wife is enjoying it. It’s only a problem if she (or him) no longer like it.

[Anonymous]

Most four year olds aren’t napping anymore, so there’s no real need for concern about developing independence around nap time.

[Anonymous]

It’s sweet. It will be over before too soon.

If it’s everyday maybe cut back to 4 days a week. Don’t deny your family this bonding.

[Anonymous]

OP here. Part of the issue is that he is starting to age out of naps. I have been telling her that, but she refuses to believe me. Instead, she insists that he still needs a nap, and then lays in bed with him for long periods of time trying to get him to sleep (often unsuccessfully).

[Anonymous]

He’s 4. Totally fine!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Part of the issue is that he is starting to age out of naps. I have been telling her that, but she refuses to believe me. Instead, she insists that he still needs a nap, and then lays in bed with him for long periods of time trying to get him to sleep (often unsuccessfully).

Ah, she needs to move to “quiet time” instead of nap time. Have him sit in his room and read or play quietly for an hour after lunch. Most kids drop the nap around 4. My ds dropped at 3 and my dh did not believe me. So one Saturday afternoon he put him in the car and took a long drive, which normally would conk him right out. The drive the entire length of the beltway, with ds looking out the window the whole time! Dh finally had to admit I was right, ds was done with naps.

[Anonymous]

Okay for now. Getting into weird territory though especially if he’s not tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Part of the issue is that he is starting to age out of naps. I have been telling her that, but she refuses to believe me. Instead, she insists that he still needs a nap, and then lays in bed with him for long periods of time trying to get him to sleep (often unsuccessfully).

Are you the one home during the afternoons caring for him if he’s crabby from lack of sleep? Or is that her? You may be right that he doesn’t need them, but she’s not wrong to try.

[Anonymous]

Ugh! Men get jealous that their wives spend more time with their kids… it’s pathetic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Part of the issue is that he is starting to age out of naps. I have been telling her that, but she refuses to believe me. Instead, she insists that he still needs a nap, and then lays in bed with him for long periods of time trying to get him to sleep (often unsuccessfully).

Are you the one home during the afternoons caring for him if he’s crabby from lack of sleep? Or is that her? You may be right that he doesn’t need them, but she’s not wrong to try.

Agreed. The transition is rough sometimes. Some kids also don't do "quiet time" well - my oldest was either asleep or fully awake and unable to sit still. He was in day care, so basically he complained about enforced nap time for months (you can't just stop napping in day care), then there was the pandemic, then I let him watch TV during his younger sibling's naps so I could frantically try to get some work done. Never figured out the secret to quiet time without screens or parental entertainment.

[Anonymous]

Maybe mom needs a nap/break. You should step up more and help out

[Anonymous]

+1 to quiet.
Hell, we had weekend afternoon "quiet time" in my house through high school. It was an hour where people had to leave everybody else alone and be quiet, sleeping or not. Also an important skill for children!!!