DW lays in bed with 4 year old at naptime

[Anonymous]

At 4, most kids aren't napping

[Anonymous]

Eh. He will be fine. At some point he is going to jump up snd leave. Or may just get on an iPad and cuddle next to mom.

No big deal.

Because I do it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay for now. Getting into weird territory though especially if he’s not tired.

He may not be tired but she probably is tired and wants the break.

[Anonymous]

I put my 2 year old down for nap then go nap in my own bed of I'm tired.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe mom needs a nap/break. You should step up more and help out

This. He still needs a nap and she needs a nap. You need to pull your weight in the house or outsource more work. Are you a good provider?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DW lays in bed with 4 year old DS at nap time. She says that it's because he won't go to sleep otherwise, but in truth, I think she just likes it. Problem is that I think he's getting a bit old for that, and her constant presence is preventing him from developing the independence on how to do it on his own. Is this a problem? Will this prevent him from developing the independence he needs to handle nap time on his own?

He'll be outgrowing nap soon. Most 4 year olds don't have some magical independence that lets them nap on their own. They just don't nap. So, he's not missing some critical skill, and there's no chance this will last forever.

Let this happen it's a nice time together, and she's probably using it as an excuse to get some needed rest. Lots of women do a terrible job of taking care of their own needs, so this is great.

[Anonymous]

She is tired and needs the sleep. Adults don't take naps unless they really need it. Toddlers and small children are also just exhausting in general if you are with them all day.

How much is she handling in the house? Can you step up more? At a minimum, I'd just tell her to use her own bed for her nap.

[Anonymous]

We always used to nap with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most four year olds aren’t napping anymore, so there’s no real need for concern about developing independence around nap time.

Yes this. OP made me laugh out loud with "nap independence" concern trolling at this age. Wife enjoys the snuggles or wants a break in her day. Why is this a problem for OP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Does he have problems sleeping alone at bed time?

This is the only thing that matters. If he goes to sleep fine by himself at night then this is harmless.

[Anonymous]

I’m certain she’d be glad to stop lying down with him if you took over and offered to do some quiet time activities with him around nap time. Can you make that happen? No? Then shut up.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she is a SAHM. If so, then your sense of whether or not he needs a nap may not be accurate. The problem with kids that age is that they often only need a nap a few days a week, so you have a few choices:

1) Have mandatory quiet time and figure they will sleep if they need to—this does not work if you have a kid who is active and a bad sleeper. They will find ways to keep themselves awake every day and then have massive meltdowns on the days when they needed the nap but missed it.

2) Move to no nap. Accept that this will mean an earlier bedtime (maybe meaning working parent gets little or even no time with kid on weekdays), and that the kid will have a lot of behavioral issues that n the days when he needed to nap.

3) Enforce naps daily. Build your schedule around inducing a nap as many days as possible. This means you may be trapped with the kid for an hour or two every day but if your plan for that time is to rest then it may not matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At 4, most kids aren't napping

Yeah, but they're all so different. My 5 yo kid would have napped for another year or two but he had to go to kindergarten. My younger one stopped naps at 2.

[Anonymous]

It’s fine. Let them be.

[Anonymous]

Totally fine. Our kids didn’t need a full-on nap every single day, but definitely needed quiet time. They would end up sleeping every few days versus just quietly resting the other days. I love a good nap and would lay down with them sometimes on the weekend.

This will self-correct next year when your kid is in kindergarten.