New here - where to start?
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
| Hi all - I hope this is the right place to post (apologies if it's not!). I'm almost 34 and looking to get an AMH test/consultation to get a sense of if I should freeze my eggs soon or if I can wait a few years - just thinking ahead after this year. I'm not ready to be a single parent just yet, so this is more a fact-finding mission to plan ahead and determine my options. Any recommendations for a reputable clinic/provider (who is in-network with BCBS) to work with? I know most of this wouldn't be covered by insurance but mostly just looking for a good provider. I don't want to be sold a bill of goods or scared into doing something without the right information; seems like Shady Grove isn't great and the GW clinic isn't taking new patients currently. I'm hoping for an appointment in the fall after I get my AMH done.... any recommendations? Thanks! |
Anonymous
| CCRM |
Anonymous
| One thing to keep in mind is that egg quality and egg quantity are two different things. Even if your AMH is high, your 34 year old eggs will be better quality than your 38 year old eggs. There is no way of knowing when your egg quality will start dropping enough to impact fertility (could be 34, could be 38, could be 40...), but if you can see waiting until after 37 or so, then it is nothing but good insurance to freeze now when you're still younger. You're on the infertility forum so most of us are people who encountered problems. I'm guessing we're going to urge you to act more aggressively now than if you posted on the Expectant Mothers forum and got feedback from a bunch of fertile 40 year olds. But regardless of what others say, some of us do have problems in our 30s and it's up to you to decide whether you're willing to risk being in that minority. |
Anonymous
| I would get your bloodwork and ultra sound (done on the third day of your cycle) at your regular OBGYN, and I would discuss the results with them. I think it can be hard for fertility clinics to be objective when they have their own goals and motives that do not always align with yours. I was in your same position and did this, and my OBGYN was very honest with me and said I should make an appointment with a fertility clinic to freeze my eggs. I went with Shady Grove (I don't mind that it's a factory as I appreciate their efficiency and pricing) and am in the process of freezing my eggs with them. If I end up needing to use my eggs, and I have a complicated medical situation, I may choose to move to another clinic, but they seem fine for more standard patients. Good luck! |
Anonymous
|
I would just remember that freezing your eggs is not an insurance policy but an investment that may or may not payout. As a PP said it is a balance between egg quantity and quality, and it's hard to be make such a financially significant decision on the unknown. In addition to the bloodwork and ultrasound results, I would look at your mother's/grandmothers' fertility journeys though theirs may be completely different from your own.
A friend of mine decided to freeze her eggs at 37 and discovered she was going through early menopause so the two cycles she did give her a much better shot at becoming a mother. I froze my eggs at 38, but I hope I won't have to use them. I know other women who froze embryos in their 40s and went on to have children. Everyone is different, but learning a little more about your body's current fertility is the perfect starting point. |
Anonymous
| I would read It Starts with the Egg. If you decide to freeze your eggs, it has great lifestyle, nutritional, and supplement advice, but you have to start a couple months ahead of your procedure. Even if you decide not to follow through, it does have some sound advice. Who knew using/reusing plastic containers was a bad idea? |
Anonymous
|
Thanks - this is all helpful, terrifying, and frustrating. I really appreciate it! I'll definitely read that book. Hehe, and fwiw I'd heard about the plastic container thing and have used glass for years so hoping that wins me brownie points, right?
My mom had 6 pregnancies in 6 years before 35 but she was married and ready to have kids; I'm the oldest a woman has been in my family before marrying/trying for kids. I thought I'd have a partner by now, but that's life. I don't have a regular OBGYN and can't find anyone accepting new patients - do you have any recs? I am not well established in DC yet. Honestly, the problem is this: I'm not wealthy and don't have family who can lend me money. I have some money saved during the student loan forbearance that I was and was planning to pay off 2 of my 6 student loans this fall, but it occurred to me this may be the only time in my life I can afford to pay to freeze my eggs without taking on yet another loan. IDK. It just feels like a tax to pay for working on my career to survive economically while failing to find a partner while young enough. |
Anonymous
OP, would you consider donating eggs in order to get free egg freezing? That is a thing some clinics/ egg banks do. You are over the age limit for some places, like this one: https://www.myeggbank.com/blog/how-can-i-freeze-my-eggs-for-free But this place will allow donors up to age 35 (it's in London, but there's probably somewhere in the US that will go up to 35 if you look around): https://www.londoneggbank.com/freezers/costs/ I didn't find It Starts With the Egg to be all that helpful. I would consider doing the following: 1) See if your doctor will order a karyotype in addition to AMH. My AMH was great for my age! Plenty of eggs. Turns out that the vast majority of them are chromosomally defective. If I had frozen my eggs without having the karyotype done, I would have had a false sense of security. AMH and the rest of the day 3 bloodwork is important, but it's not the whole story. 2) Consider freezing some eggs and some embryos. I froze embryos (using donor sperm) because they survive freezing and thawing better than eggs. A friend thawed her frozen eggs years later, and none of them survived the thaw. She never had children. 3) Don't wait to do this. My doctor told me I could freeze until age 38, but that it was unlikely to be worth doing after that. Sure, there are unethical clinics that will sell egg freezing to 43-year-olds, but that's unlikely to work out well for anyone other than the clinic. Good luck. |
Anonymous
|
Read up on the likelihood of being able to use frozen eggs. I know some women who felt confident about freezing their eggs because it can be advertised as the perfect answer- but it doesn’t work out for everyone.
And good luck, truly. I think it’s 1000% better to wait until you’re ready to be a SMBC or to have children with a real life partner than to settle for the sake of having children. |
Anonymous
|
I would look at nearby Maryland and Virginia for an OBGYN that is in network. I have found the BCBS customer line extremely helpful, and they may be able to help you find a few that are taking new patients.
Deciding to freeze your eggs is a very difficult decision because the success rates are much lower than with embryos. It also ends up costing around $10,000-$15,000 because of the monitoring, procedure, and medication. One reason I went with SGF is because they offer a discount based on your income. I also saved about $1000 because of discounts that the medicine companies offer based on income. For me it truly is a gamble, but I am in a place financially where I can afford to do that. Also I am not even sure I want kids so I want to wait and see if that changes over time so for me I am doing this not out of necessity but for the luxury of time. Once you get your AMH, ultrasound, and karyotype (wish I had known about that!) I think you'll have a better idea of if you need to proceed now, or if you could wait until you meet a partner/are more financially stable. Here are a couple of reasons I would consider waiting, but they may not apply to you, and you never know what may happen in the future. I think if you want to meet someone, you will, you just may have to be pretty proactive in the dating process. Some of these reasons unfortunately are based on your partner being a man because your insurance is likely not inclusive in its fertility coverage of same sex couples or single parents: 1. You could marry a partner and live in Maryland where fertility coverage is mandated if you end up having difficulty trying to conceive. 2. Even if you don't live in Maryland, your partner may have insurance that offers fertility coverage. For me what my decision came down to was would I regret not having done everything I could if I ended up wanting to have a biological child, and I wasn't able to conceive naturally? Try not to let this process start to terrify or panic you. You are taking the first step by trying to get those tests done. Then you can go step by step from there and make a decision for now. You can always freeze your eggs if you ever change your mind in the next few months/years or after you've settled in DC for a bit. |
Anonymous
|
When I was considering freezing my eggs, I tried to watch as many Youtube videos and read as many blogs as I could. Here are the two videos that were most helpful to me:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1K_p2hLeY8&ab_channel=WashingtonPost (This series by the Washington Post was especially eye opening about the whole process.) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cxnONiq8G0&ab_channel=Refinery29 Now that I've done it, I feel I should tell you, the egg freezing process is quite a time consuming and emotionally consuming two week process: 1. There are lots of bloodwork and ultra sound appointments, and they become every other day or daily. I have a car which makes that easy, but I did have to go before work and find free street parking around 7:30 am each day. 2. I had to have someone come with me and take me home from the egg retrieval so you have to find someone who can be away from work for 3-4 hours (the process is only 30 minutes, but they monitor you after you come out of anesthesia). 3. I was most scared of the daily injections and blood draws, but those were painless thanks to Emla, a prescribed numbing cream that I got from my primary care physician (so you'll need to have one of them as well). 4. The medications made me dehydrated, tired, and more emotional. I had to take naps which is something I never do. 5. It was also upsetting when the initial follicle count didn't always match up with the follicles that were growing. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain women face on this board as they actively try to conceive when they want to be mothers. That is why you may want to heed their advice to do this sooner rather than later, but I did want to offer at least my experience as I went through the egg freezing process. |
Anonymous
|
OP, I was you several years ago. I second everything the the other posters have said. I want to stress however - DON'T WAIT. Freeze your eggs, or preferably, freeze embryos with donor sperm. Or do a round of both. They'll tell you that you need 10-20 eggs per child, and depending on how many eggs you get each cycle, it may take several cycles. The cycles are financially and emotionally draining, BUT it is way more expensive to be in your 40s and still trying to have a baby (I'm attempting to use donor eggs now and at this point I'm $150K in over a 10 year period).
My doctor told me at your age not to worry about it so I didn't freeze my eggs until much later. When I thawed them to have a child, none of them made it and $45K went down the drain. Believe me, the $45K seems like nothing now and I would pay it again to have a child genetically related to me. And I never will. |
Anonymous
| Hi OP, I'm an egg freezer like others on this thread, but it looks like I am the only one who has successfully thawed and had a live birth from them. I froze at 36 and had a healthy baby from them at 42. I am so, so grateful I did it because I now have the desired family size I always wanted, and it might not have been possible without those frozen eggs. If you post a burner email, I'd be happy to discuss further offline. I was in the same situation as you re: money - I had to drain a savings account to pay for it, but again, very glad I had the foresight and ability to do this. |
Anonymous
| I did egg freezing at CFA at age 34. I was told it wasn't fully necessary because my amh was high ( likely indicating pcos)- fast forwar until now when I'm struggling and currently in the fallout of failed iui ( and potential ectopic pregnancy), in glad I froze them then. I hope to not need to use them but it gives a small piece of mind. |
Anonymous
Thank you! IDK if you're still following this/no idea if I'm using this correctly but please send me an e-mail at dcflapperz@gmail.com! Thanks!
|