“It’s not my fault you guys got divorced!”

[Anonymous]

DC is absolutely correct, of course, but my heart breaks every time I hear it. I didn’t want to get divorced—DC’s dad cheated on me. Lied in counseling.

We presented a united front to DC—decision made between two adults yada yada. Do I ever get to throw my arms up and say, “it’s not my fault either!” or do I just take my side of the story to the grave? I do want to do the right thing for DC even though this post sounds like it’s all about me. I know it wasn’t DC’s choice to grow up shuffling between two houses. It’s so hard sometimes because I didn’t want that either.

DC is 12.

[Anonymous]

You don’t have to take it to your grave but you’ve got another 10+ years.

[Anonymous]

Any chance at reconciling? despite divorce? I've known of couples who did, and eventually got remarried

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to take it to your grave but you’ve got another 10+ years.

Got it. Parenting can be tough sometimes. I appreciate your advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any chance at reconciling? despite divorce? I've known of couples who did, and eventually got remarried

None. Ex-spouse has fully moved on, nor do I want to knowing what I know now—the lies just keep coming.

[Anonymous]

I admire you for not throwing your ex under the bus during a time when the kid needs to have as stable a relationship with him as possible. Maybe eventually the kid will figure it out for themself and then you could discuss it with them.

[Anonymous]

Could you also say it isnt what you wanted either without assigning blame?

[Anonymous]

You broke up his nuclear family. Yes, your husband cheated, but did you try to work it out? Did you show your child how you tried tooth and nail to hold your family together with glue and duct tape? He's telling you that you didn't try hard enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I admire you for not throwing your ex under the bus during a time when the kid needs to have as stable a relationship with him as possible. Maybe eventually the kid will figure it out for themself and then you could discuss it with them.

I appreciate your words—it will help me stay focused on what is DC’s best interest.

Cause I’d really like to throw him under the bus!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you also say it isnt what you wanted either without assigning blame?

I’m sure this would be followed by a lot of “then why”’s, but if any of you have been there, done that have a different experience, I’d appreciate hearing how it went.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You broke up his nuclear family. Yes, your husband cheated, but did you try to work it out? Did you show your child how you tried tooth and nail to hold your family together with glue and duct tape? He's telling you that you didn't try hard enough.

Ex has moved on and was not interested in staying together. Honestly not sure what I could have done. He picked up and moved out! To his credit he has stayed involved as a dad.

[Anonymous]

It takes 2 to make a marriage work, and only one to end it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to take it to your grave but you’ve got another 10+ years.

+100

[Anonymous]

Op, are you more concerned about what your DC is saying or being rejected and not being able to reconcile with him? I am reading two angles from your story.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don’t have to take it to your grave but you’ve got another 10+ years.

+100

Agree.