Tutoring to give your child a leg up.

[Anonymous]

My DC is in 4th grade in a gifted class. I was surprised to find out out that most kids in her class have tutors and do extra math or writing despite doing well. My daughter is doing fine, but sometimes feels insecure about her abilities because many of her classmates already know the material before it is taught. I can't help being annoyed with all these parents giving their children extra work to give them a leg up and I don't understand why you would hire a tutor if your child is doing fine. Maybe I am missing something. Can anyone explain to me why you would do this?

[Anonymous]

We are not doing doing extra math to give our rising fourth grader a leg up but because he is bored in math. Last year was the first year that we did a specific program. DL was boring for him. He knew the material that was being presented. The only time he got excited for school was for Level III pull outs. They had a unit that used base 3 math and he went crazy. He learned a variety of the different bases and was creating math problems for his Dad. After 2 Quarters of work that was not challenging, we enrolled him in AoPS. That class was fun for him. He enjoyed the 2 hour class and would spend extra time playing the math games that they had at the end of his homework.

There isn't anything I can do about what is being taught at school. He is not disruptive n class. His Teacher comments that he does a great job explaining concepts when she asks a student to explain an answer. He quietly does his own thing in class. We have to provide some type of outside enrichment if I want him to continue to be engaged in math.

So it is not about getting ahead but meeting him where he is and challenging him.

And no, I don't think he is gifted or a genius or anything along those lines. He just loves math and he is good at it. I loved history and politics as a kid. I was reading biographies about political leaders and extra non-fiction books in ES. It was easy for my Mom to take me to the library and check out books to read. DS loves math so we enroll him in activities that he enjoys. This summer he has coding and space camp, to go with sports camp and an art camp.

[Anonymous]

We currently have 2 HS students. At times, both have had tutors (foreign language and math). One was in a magnet starting in 4th (was called Gifted and Talented back then), the other staring in MS. Neither had the tutor unless they were struggling - it was never to get ahead. Both avid readers and always had their noses in a book.

[Anonymous]

We used a tutor for HN Alg 1 this year and it was the best decision we made. I plan to keep her for geometry.

Classes are large (and this year DL) and the tutor gives enrichment, clarifies lessons/concepts, and allows my child to ask questions. It helped tremendously. It was her highest grade this year and she did great on the SOL.

[Anonymous]

OP it's none of your business.

Stop with the judgment.

People choose tutors for many reasons.

[Anonymous]

we used on for 6th grade. DC loves math and really wanted to try algebra. We wanted to make sure that she would get the IAAT scores needed to qualify. Half her class went to the same place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DC is in 4th grade in a gifted class. I was surprised to find out out that most kids in her class have tutors and do extra math or writing despite doing well. My daughter is doing fine, but sometimes feels insecure about her abilities because many of her classmates already know the material before it is taught. I can't help being annoyed with all these parents giving their children extra work to give them a leg up and I don't understand why you would hire a tutor if your child is doing fine. Maybe I am missing something. Can anyone explain to me why you would do this?

I have never hired a tutor for my kids, one who was in a magnet in 4th grade. DC is in a HS magnet now, and still has never had a tutor.

That said, why do serious athletes sometimes hire personal coaches? It's not that different.

shrug.. I don't care what other parents do. I'm sorry your kid is feeling insecure. Competition is fierce around these parts. I think you have to either be willing to do what you need to do to compete, or live with the situation. You cannot control what other parents do.

My kid is also on the small side and has a summer birthday. There are redshirted kids in DC's class. My small, on the younger side DC had to compete with these larger, older kids. Sports and PE was always a nightmare. But, I can't control what other parents do, so we just had to work through it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC is in 4th grade in a gifted class. I was surprised to find out out that most kids in her class have tutors and do extra math or writing despite doing well. My daughter is doing fine, but sometimes feels insecure about her abilities because many of her classmates already know the material before it is taught. I can't help being annoyed with all these parents giving their children extra work to give them a leg up and I don't understand why you would hire a tutor if your child is doing fine. Maybe I am missing something. Can anyone explain to me why you would do this?

I have never hired a tutor for my kids, one who was in a magnet in 4th grade. DC is in a HS magnet now, and still has never had a tutor.

That said, why do serious athletes sometimes hire personal coaches? It's not that different.

shrug.. I don't care what other parents do. I'm sorry your kid is feeling insecure. Competition is fierce around these parts. I think you have to either be willing to do what you need to do to compete, or live with the situation. You cannot control what other parents do.

My kid is also on the small side and has a summer birthday. There are redshirted kids in DC's class. My small, on the younger side DC had to compete with these larger, older kids. Sports and PE was always a nightmare. But, I can't control what other parents do, so we just had to work through it.

And that's the bottom line.

We can't control other parents, whether we think they are slacking or doing too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP it's none of your business.

Stop with the judgment.

People choose tutors for many reasons.

+1 Especially this year when so much of the school year was with crappy virtual learning.

[Anonymous]

I can see how that would be frustrating but you need to get over it. Life isn’t fair.

[Anonymous]

In every arena, whether it's sports, music, art, or academics, there will always be kids who are ahead because they're getting extra tutoring and doing more than your kid is.

Your kid has two choices: Get her own coach/tutor if it's an area she's passionate about and wants to excel in, or learn to accept the fact that other kids who are practicing more and getting more coaching will be better than she is. Controlling other kids and parents is definitely not one of your options.

[Anonymous]

We have never gotten tutors for our kids, finishing 9th and 6th grade currently, but are considering it for this summer. They did well during DL but I can’t help wonder about all the missed instruction they had this past year. Yes I know everyone in this area was in the same boat, but missing key math lessons will affect future classes. Plus as the OP and PPs have pointed out, this is common in this competitive area. If anything, we will at least enroll them in a math class for a week or two this summer. Haven’t decided yet.

[Anonymous]

My child has always been bored in school, even in a supposedly "gifted" class. If I were to supplement every subject, I'd be bankrupt. We supplement math on occasion, because she thrives on that kind of logical thinking, and really we should do that on a regular basis. She's never been bothered by other kids knowing the material ahead of time, since usually she figures it out easily. We mostly spend on her extra-curricular passions: horses and music. But those get expensive too!

[Anonymous]

I wonder why people get upset over tutors when no one blinks at paying for high end coaching. All 3 DC have math tutors. One had special learning needs and needs the 1:1 support. One average and this boosts grades. One is top of accelerated class and just loves learning math.

No other money better spent IMO. I wish I started earlier.

[Anonymous]

NP. I know many parents who get tutors or do outside classes, even in top private schools. When money is no object, you do what you want. I agree that it makes school that much harder for the lesser-heeled. You could say it is all on Khan Academy, but really... have you ever tried those lessons? No comparison to a private tutor. Like OP, I am not a tutor believer unless a child REALLY needs it... and I also know several parents who say their kid loves the extra work, but the kid actually can’t stand it. (I realize some do truly love it but not all.) Net: life is unfair, do what you can, and focus on the things you are able and willing to provide.