Tutoring to give your child a leg up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, if kids’ parents are able to pay for any additional pricey extra-curriculars, including additional sports coaching and music lessons on top of music lessons, it’s frowned upon, or should be. So, you desperately want your child to stand out amongst the rest, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as your child is the best, or one of best. Your kid is nothing special, as a matter of fact, if every child received equal hours of tutoring or coaching, your kid would be average at best. I think you’re too afraid to admit this to yourself.

Hmm... let me see if I understand this: are you saying no child should be given opportunities unless all children are given equal opportunities? Race to the bottom, right?

And moreover, are you saying that a parent who tries to give their child opportunities to better themselves is doing that not to in order to develop a kid's potential, but to stick it to other people?

You are doing it to stick it to other people, yes. Why is a full day of school for your average to above average child not enough? Why is an after school sports practice with the team not enough? Is 6 hours a day really not enough learning for your child? You are unintentionally, or intentionally, setting an unattainable standard for many of the other students whose parents cannot afford unnecessary tutoring. It’s unfair, can’t you see that? There are kids who actually need tutoring, they are barely scraping by, yet can’t afford a tutor. While your child, who does just fine on their own merits, needs a tutor to get further ahead, just because? It’s absurd.

Huh? Why should that even be a reason to forgo tutoring? I can’t give my kid tutoring bc another kid somewhere is struggling? This race to the bottom will get us nowhere. Sorry, life is cutthroat and never fair

Why not just homeschool your child if you feel the need to pay for unnecessary additional help? You realize that your child is unnaturally and unrealistically ahead of his/her peers? You don’t care though, as long as your kid is better.

Why would I homeschool? I have a job. Plus, the social aspect of school is a good thing. And yes, I’m trying to give my kids the best education possible with the resources that we have. Why should I hold my kids back just because other kids aren’t at the same level? It’s not my job to educate their classmates. I raise and educate my kids to the best of my abilities. And no, I don’t care what other parents are doing. Not my business. It’s so strange how concerned you are with how I spend my money, and on education no less.

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

[Anonymous]

If the tutoring is for an average child who is performing at grade level, what is the objective, if not to gain an advantage? What is the end goal? You can deny that you don’t care about or notice other students but I do not believe that. It’s a clear calculated decision to give your child a leg up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, if kids’ parents are able to pay for any additional pricey extra-curriculars, including additional sports coaching and music lessons on top of music lessons, it’s frowned upon, or should be. So, you desperately want your child to stand out amongst the rest, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as your child is the best, or one of best. Your kid is nothing special, as a matter of fact, if every child received equal hours of tutoring or coaching, your kid would be average at best. I think you’re too afraid to admit this to yourself.

Hmm... let me see if I understand this: are you saying no child should be given opportunities unless all children are given equal opportunities? Race to the bottom, right?

And moreover, are you saying that a parent who tries to give their child opportunities to better themselves is doing that not to in order to develop a kid's potential, but to stick it to other people?

You are doing it to stick it to other people, yes. Why is a full day of school for your average to above average child not enough? Why is an after school sports practice with the team not enough? Is 6 hours a day really not enough learning for your child? You are unintentionally, or intentionally, setting an unattainable standard for many of the other students whose parents cannot afford unnecessary tutoring. It’s unfair, can’t you see that? There are kids who actually need tutoring, they are barely scraping by, yet can’t afford a tutor. While your child, who does just fine on their own merits, needs a tutor to get further ahead, just because? It’s absurd.

Huh? Why should that even be a reason to forgo tutoring? I can’t give my kid tutoring bc another kid somewhere is struggling? This race to the bottom will get us nowhere. Sorry, life is cutthroat and never fair

Why not just homeschool your child if you feel the need to pay for unnecessary additional help? You realize that your child is unnaturally and unrealistically ahead of his/her peers? You don’t care though, as long as your kid is better.

Why would I homeschool? I have a job. Plus, the social aspect of school is a good thing. And yes, I’m trying to give my kids the best education possible with the resources that we have. Why should I hold my kids back just because other kids aren’t at the same level? It’s not my job to educate their classmates. I raise and educate my kids to the best of my abilities. And no, I don’t care what other parents are doing. Not my business. It’s so strange how concerned you are with how I spend my money, and on education no less.

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

US public schools are awful. I haven’t found them sufficient, particularly in foreign language, math, and writing/grammar. Private is 45k per kid. We have 3. 135-150k per year is not a wise financial decision for any family under 1M yr, IMO. We’ve allocated a certain amount to pay for math, language and summer classes to supplement in lieu of private bc that’s our financial reality. We like our house and neighborhood and see no reason to move since most public schools here are the same. We cannot afford a 2-3m house so that is out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, if kids’ parents are able to pay for any additional pricey extra-curriculars, including additional sports coaching and music lessons on top of music lessons, it’s frowned upon, or should be. So, you desperately want your child to stand out amongst the rest, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as your child is the best, or one of best. Your kid is nothing special, as a matter of fact, if every child received equal hours of tutoring or coaching, your kid would be average at best. I think you’re too afraid to admit this to yourself.

Hmm... let me see if I understand this: are you saying no child should be given opportunities unless all children are given equal opportunities? Race to the bottom, right?

And moreover, are you saying that a parent who tries to give their child opportunities to better themselves is doing that not to in order to develop a kid's potential, but to stick it to other people?

You are doing it to stick it to other people, yes. Why is a full day of school for your average to above average child not enough? Why is an after school sports practice with the team not enough? Is 6 hours a day really not enough learning for your child? You are unintentionally, or intentionally, setting an unattainable standard for many of the other students whose parents cannot afford unnecessary tutoring. It’s unfair, can’t you see that? There are kids who actually need tutoring, they are barely scraping by, yet can’t afford a tutor. While your child, who does just fine on their own merits, needs a tutor to get further ahead, just because? It’s absurd.

Huh? Why should that even be a reason to forgo tutoring? I can’t give my kid tutoring bc another kid somewhere is struggling? This race to the bottom will get us nowhere. Sorry, life is cutthroat and never fair

Why not just homeschool your child if you feel the need to pay for unnecessary additional help? You realize that your child is unnaturally and unrealistically ahead of his/her peers? You don’t care though, as long as your kid is better.

Why would I homeschool? I have a job. Plus, the social aspect of school is a good thing. And yes, I’m trying to give my kids the best education possible with the resources that we have. Why should I hold my kids back just because other kids aren’t at the same level? It’s not my job to educate their classmates. I raise and educate my kids to the best of my abilities. And no, I don’t care what other parents are doing. Not my business. It’s so strange how concerned you are with how I spend my money, and on education no less.

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

US public schools are awful. I haven’t found them sufficient, particularly in foreign language, math, and writing/grammar. Private is 45k per kid. We have 3. 135-150k per year is not a wise financial decision for any family under 1M yr, IMO. We’ve allocated a certain amount to pay for math, language and summer classes to supplement in lieu of private bc that’s our financial reality. We like our house and neighborhood and see no reason to move since most public schools here are the same. We cannot afford a 2-3m house so that is out

There are many excellent academically rigorous public schools in the NE. No need for supplementing there, but people still do??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, if kids’ parents are able to pay for any additional pricey extra-curriculars, including additional sports coaching and music lessons on top of music lessons, it’s frowned upon, or should be. So, you desperately want your child to stand out amongst the rest, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as your child is the best, or one of best. Your kid is nothing special, as a matter of fact, if every child received equal hours of tutoring or coaching, your kid would be average at best. I think you’re too afraid to admit this to yourself.

Hmm... let me see if I understand this: are you saying no child should be given opportunities unless all children are given equal opportunities? Race to the bottom, right?

And moreover, are you saying that a parent who tries to give their child opportunities to better themselves is doing that not to in order to develop a kid's potential, but to stick it to other people?

You are doing it to stick it to other people, yes. Why is a full day of school for your average to above average child not enough? Why is an after school sports practice with the team not enough? Is 6 hours a day really not enough learning for your child? You are unintentionally, or intentionally, setting an unattainable standard for many of the other students whose parents cannot afford unnecessary tutoring. It’s unfair, can’t you see that? There are kids who actually need tutoring, they are barely scraping by, yet can’t afford a tutor. While your child, who does just fine on their own merits, needs a tutor to get further ahead, just because? It’s absurd.

Huh? Why should that even be a reason to forgo tutoring? I can’t give my kid tutoring bc another kid somewhere is struggling? This race to the bottom will get us nowhere. Sorry, life is cutthroat and never fair

Why not just homeschool your child if you feel the need to pay for unnecessary additional help? You realize that your child is unnaturally and unrealistically ahead of his/her peers? You don’t care though, as long as your kid is better.

Why would I homeschool? I have a job. Plus, the social aspect of school is a good thing. And yes, I’m trying to give my kids the best education possible with the resources that we have. Why should I hold my kids back just because other kids aren’t at the same level? It’s not my job to educate their classmates. I raise and educate my kids to the best of my abilities. And no, I don’t care what other parents are doing. Not my business. It’s so strange how concerned you are with how I spend my money, and on education no less.

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

US public schools are awful. I haven’t found them sufficient, particularly in foreign language, math, and writing/grammar. Private is 45k per kid. We have 3. 135-150k per year is not a wise financial decision for any family under 1M yr, IMO. We’ve allocated a certain amount to pay for math, language and summer classes to supplement in lieu of private bc that’s our financial reality. We like our house and neighborhood and see no reason to move since most public schools here are the same. We cannot afford a 2-3m house so that is out

There are many excellent academically rigorous public schools in the NE. No need for supplementing there, but people still do??

The gap between public and private curriculum is incredibly vast. I didn’t think that it was until I saw for myself. Public school kids tutor/supplement not to compete with other public schoolers but to try to close the gap (if feasible ) with the private/boarding cohort

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

No, if kids’ parents are able to pay for any additional pricey extra-curriculars, including additional sports coaching and music lessons on top of music lessons, it’s frowned upon, or should be. So, you desperately want your child to stand out amongst the rest, so you do whatever it takes to make that happen. As long as your child is the best, or one of best. Your kid is nothing special, as a matter of fact, if every child received equal hours of tutoring or coaching, your kid would be average at best. I think you’re too afraid to admit this to yourself.

Hmm... let me see if I understand this: are you saying no child should be given opportunities unless all children are given equal opportunities? Race to the bottom, right?

And moreover, are you saying that a parent who tries to give their child opportunities to better themselves is doing that not to in order to develop a kid's potential, but to stick it to other people?

You are doing it to stick it to other people, yes. Why is a full day of school for your average to above average child not enough? Why is an after school sports practice with the team not enough? Is 6 hours a day really not enough learning for your child? You are unintentionally, or intentionally, setting an unattainable standard for many of the other students whose parents cannot afford unnecessary tutoring. It’s unfair, can’t you see that? There are kids who actually need tutoring, they are barely scraping by, yet can’t afford a tutor. While your child, who does just fine on their own merits, needs a tutor to get further ahead, just because? It’s absurd.

Huh? Why should that even be a reason to forgo tutoring? I can’t give my kid tutoring bc another kid somewhere is struggling? This race to the bottom will get us nowhere. Sorry, life is cutthroat and never fair

Why not just homeschool your child if you feel the need to pay for unnecessary additional help? You realize that your child is unnaturally and unrealistically ahead of his/her peers? You don’t care though, as long as your kid is better.

Why would I homeschool? I have a job. Plus, the social aspect of school is a good thing. And yes, I’m trying to give my kids the best education possible with the resources that we have. Why should I hold my kids back just because other kids aren’t at the same level? It’s not my job to educate their classmates. I raise and educate my kids to the best of my abilities. And no, I don’t care what other parents are doing. Not my business. It’s so strange how concerned you are with how I spend my money, and on education no less.

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

US public schools are awful. I haven’t found them sufficient, particularly in foreign language, math, and writing/grammar. Private is 45k per kid. We have 3. 135-150k per year is not a wise financial decision for any family under 1M yr, IMO. We’ve allocated a certain amount to pay for math, language and summer classes to supplement in lieu of private bc that’s our financial reality. We like our house and neighborhood and see no reason to move since most public schools here are the same. We cannot afford a 2-3m house so that is out

I attended US public schools for my entire education including college. I turned out okay, I think, and never even had a tutor. And guess what? I was an accomplished athlete. I worked my a$$ off on my own because I wanted to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I attended US public schools for my entire education including college. I turned out okay, I think, and never even had a tutor. And guess what? I was an accomplished athlete. I worked my a$$ off on my own because I wanted to.

Congratulations! What's your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

I find your logic confusing. If the child is performing at a higher level, then doesn't that mean that the tutoring is useful? Isn't the point to actually learn something??

Also you keep harping on this notion of the average child. Yes, dearie, even parents of average children want their children to do well. They're not trying to masquerade as geniuses, as you seem to be thinking, nobody is saying 'oh look, my child is so smart she was born knowing geometry!'... Such a childish mentality!

[Anonymous]

I actually find the combo of public + tutoring/enrichment activities top the extent they are affordable and of interest to the kid much more sensible than private school...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I attended US public schools for my entire education including college. I turned out okay, I think, and never even had a tutor. And guess what? I was an accomplished athlete. I worked my a$$ off on my own because I wanted to.

Congratulations! What's your point?

My point is that I, along with millions of others, successfully made it through the US educational system without any additional help. Somehow I think this hoarding of resources and almost gluttonous gorging of facts and test taking skills is a new phenomena. Somehow we all made it before this new mentality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the tutoring is for an average child who is performing at grade level, what is the objective, if not to gain an advantage? What is the end goal? You can deny that you don’t care about or notice other students but I do not believe that. It’s a clear calculated decision to give your child a leg up.

What? Are we taking crazy pills? Of course tutoring is to give your kid a leg up! That is the entire point of all of this. To give your kid the best education and advantage in life possible. Don't we all already know this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

I find your logic confusing. If the child is performing at a higher level, then doesn't that mean that the tutoring is useful? Isn't the point to actually learn something??

Also you keep harping on this notion of the average child. Yes, dearie, even parents of average children want their children to do well. They're not trying to masquerade as geniuses, as you seem to be thinking, nobody is saying 'oh look, my child is so smart she was born knowing geometry!'... Such a childish mentality!

How do you, as a parent, know when to decide if your child is learning enough in school? I don’t understand the point of school? Is it just for social interaction?

[Anonymous]

My kid is above average, no idea where he is because we have not bothered with testing and I don’t think the NNAT or CoGAT are great proxy tests for intelligence. He has not had a Teacher who has not commented on the fact that he is ahead of his classmates. He does the work his Teachers assign him, he does the work in the extra work folder. He doesn’t complain or disrupt the class. I don’t think that this is a particularly exciting development, he is entering fourth grade. Some kids pick up concepts faster then others, it isn’t a huge deal. He’ll end up in math classes with kids who took a bit longer to learn the concepts then he did and they will probably get similar grades.

That said, right now, entering fourth grade, the math he is presented in class is not challenging for him. I don’t want him to not be challenged and so he attended AoPS in third grade and is moving to The Russian School of Math this year. The math in those classes challenges him. He asks questions and gets some problems wrong. It is good for him to be in an environment where he learns to ask for help and he needs to work at understanding the concepts. Why? Because it is good to develop those skills when you are younger then to be faced for the first time with challenging material when you are in Middle or High School.

As for families who use tutors to help their kids in classes, great. Their parents want the kids to understand the material that is being presented and master it. They see that their kids could use some support. Excellent. I stayed after class or went to school early to get extra help from my Teachers. My parents hired a tutor for a few classes for me because I needed more support. Should I have dropped out of Algebra instead? We even choose the Algebra, Algebra II, Geometry track with no Calculus because I struggled with math. That doesn’t mean I wanted to fail or get C’s in those classes. I worked my butt off and earned A’s. But it was hard work and I needed some support. I fail to see why tutors providing that support was a bad thing.

Make choices that work for your family. I am going to do what I think needs to be done to support my child’s interests and needs. I am thankful that he is far better at math then I ever was. I am thrilled to support his enjoyment of the subject. I also support his love of reading by buying him books and letting him listen to audible books at bed time. Is that too much? Am I giving him a leg up in English class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

If you are paying for a tutor for your presumably average child, that is why your child is performing at a higher level. Why is school time insufficient for an average student without a learning disability? If the schools/teachers are so incompetent why not find a better school district or private school rather than paying a tutor? I don’t understand this mentality? Are the schools so bad that you need to do extra? Is 6-8 hours a day in school not enough for a child? How many hours of learning per day is enough for an average student?

I find your logic confusing. If the child is performing at a higher level, then doesn't that mean that the tutoring is useful? Isn't the point to actually learn something??

Also you keep harping on this notion of the average child. Yes, dearie, even parents of average children want their children to do well. They're not trying to masquerade as geniuses, as you seem to be thinking, nobody is saying 'oh look, my child is so smart she was born knowing geometry!'... Such a childish mentality!

How do you, as a parent, know when to decide if your child is learning enough in school? I don’t understand the point of school? Is it just for social interaction?

A child is learning enough when they are consistently stretched just a little bit outside their comfort zone: not too much to get discouraged, not too little to get bored.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid is above average, no idea where he is because we have not bothered with testing and I don’t think the NNAT or CoGAT are great proxy tests for intelligence. He has not had a Teacher who has not commented on the fact that he is ahead of his classmates. He does the work his Teachers assign him, he does the work in the extra work folder. He doesn’t complain or disrupt the class. I don’t think that this is a particularly exciting development, he is entering fourth grade. Some kids pick up concepts faster then others, it isn’t a huge deal. He’ll end up in math classes with kids who took a bit longer to learn the concepts then he did and they will probably get similar grades.

That said, right now, entering fourth grade, the math he is presented in class is not challenging for him. I don’t want him to not be challenged and so he attended AoPS in third grade and is moving to The Russian School of Math this year. The math in those classes challenges him. He asks questions and gets some problems wrong. It is good for him to be in an environment where he learns to ask for help and he needs to work at understanding the concepts. Why? Because it is good to develop those skills when you are younger then to be faced for the first time with challenging material when you are in Middle or High School.

As for families who use tutors to help their kids in classes, great. Their parents want the kids to understand the material that is being presented and master it. They see that their kids could use some support. Excellent. I stayed after class or went to school early to get extra help from my Teachers. My parents hired a tutor for a few classes for me because I needed more support. Should I have dropped out of Algebra instead? We even choose the Algebra, Algebra II, Geometry track with no Calculus because I struggled with math. That doesn’t mean I wanted to fail or get C’s in those classes. I worked my butt off and earned A’s. But it was hard work and I needed some support. I fail to see why tutors providing that support was a bad thing.

Make choices that work for your family. I am going to do what I think needs to be done to support my child’s interests and needs. I am thankful that he is far better at math then I ever was. I am thrilled to support his enjoyment of the subject. I also support his love of reading by buying him books and letting him listen to audible books at bed time. Is that too much? Am I giving him a leg up in English class?

Again, how does a parent of an average kid decide if their child is learning enough when they perform at grade level? Is that not good enough? Your child is not the norm.