Do athletic women find men attractive? What about unathletic men?

[Anonymous]

Recently I've met several lonely athletic women. I wonder whether there's an issue with them that's similar to the issue described by the high earning divorced woman who couldn't find anyone to date because she would only consider high earning men. Will athletic women date men who are slower, or weaker, or or fatter?

[Anonymous]

Only if they make good money

[Anonymous]

I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.

[Anonymous]

My SIL is super fit, BIL is an obese out of shape inert blob, but has an awesome personality. They seem really happy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.

+1

Also very athletic and married. I took a psychology course at one point in my undergrad where we looked at the data on how spouses influence each other's lifestyle habits for better or worse (exercise, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking) and it really stuck with me that I didn't want to date or marry someone who would make me a less healthy version of myself. DH and I are very closely aligned on wellness and fitness, and exercising together can be a very sexy activity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.

+1

Also very athletic and married. I took a psychology course at one point in my undergrad where we looked at the data on how spouses influence each other's lifestyle habits for better or worse (exercise, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking) and it really stuck with me that I didn't want to date or marry someone who would make me a less healthy version of myself. DH and I are very closely aligned on wellness and fitness, and exercising together can be a very sexy activity.

NP. Asking seriously: What happens when a spouse cannot "stay healthy" as you define it? What if your previously athletic spouse, through accident, illness, etc., is physically compromised and his or her body changes through no fault of "lifestyle habits"? When that person is partially paralyzed, gains weight due to that (even with rehab exercises, you will end up gaining weight if you can't move around as you always did), appears more aged, etc.? I know someone to whom that happened, due to an accident, when he was young, athletic and thin. No, he won't get that body back, ever, though he works extremely hard at exercising the body he's now got. If your spouses were suddenly and permanently unable to do your outdoor pursuits and your mutual exercising etc., would you eventually lose so much of what mattered to you about them and the relationship that you'd leave?

[Anonymous]

I’m athletic and yes, only date athletic men. Between skiing and golf and hiking that’s pretty much what I do. We wouldn’t be able to share most of what brings me joy were he not able to participate

[Anonymous]

I'm happily married, but if i ever get divorced it's important for the women I date to be athletic, childless, very successful and prosperous, highly intelligent, unusually attractive and about 20 years my junior ... and somehow still interested in me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.

+1

Also very athletic and married. I took a psychology course at one point in my undergrad where we looked at the data on how spouses influence each other's lifestyle habits for better or worse (exercise, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking) and it really stuck with me that I didn't want to date or marry someone who would make me a less healthy version of myself. DH and I are very closely aligned on wellness and fitness, and exercising together can be a very sexy activity.

NP. Asking seriously: What happens when a spouse cannot "stay healthy" as you define it? What if your previously athletic spouse, through accident, illness, etc., is physically compromised and his or her body changes through no fault of "lifestyle habits"? When that person is partially paralyzed, gains weight due to that (even with rehab exercises, you will end up gaining weight if you can't move around as you always did), appears more aged, etc.? I know someone to whom that happened, due to an accident, when he was young, athletic and thin. No, he won't get that body back, ever, though he works extremely hard at exercising the body he's now got. If your spouses were suddenly and permanently unable to do your outdoor pursuits and your mutual exercising etc., would you eventually lose so much of what mattered to you about them and the relationship that you'd leave?

The +1 PP here. Maybe you misunderstood what I was saying, but those lifestyle habits (eating healthy, not drinking) and the effort or priority placed on them is what is important to me in compatibility. I would obviously support my spouse and stay with them if they had an accident, I take my vows seriously. My attraction would wane if they didn't try to exercise within what their body allowed, didn't put effort into continuing to eat healthy, didn't take an active role in their own health. Becoming disabled or injured would not be associated with suddenly wanting to eat junk food, and if my DH were fully paralyzed, I'd get a wheelchair with thick wheels that could handle the trails and push him on runs, or a wheelchair bike for touring around the city. Whatever it took to enjoy outside time together. If he were partially paralyzed he'd be pacing me on my runs from a wheelchair. We have other shared interests beyond wellness too, it's just a value that we both share and prioritize.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.

+1

Also very athletic and married. I took a psychology course at one point in my undergrad where we looked at the data on how spouses influence each other's lifestyle habits for better or worse (exercise, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking) and it really stuck with me that I didn't want to date or marry someone who would make me a less healthy version of myself. DH and I are very closely aligned on wellness and fitness, and exercising together can be a very sexy activity.

NP. Asking seriously: What happens when a spouse cannot "stay healthy" as you define it? What if your previously athletic spouse, through accident, illness, etc., is physically compromised and his or her body changes through no fault of "lifestyle habits"? When that person is partially paralyzed, gains weight due to that (even with rehab exercises, you will end up gaining weight if you can't move around as you always did), appears more aged, etc.? I know someone to whom that happened, due to an accident, when he was young, athletic and thin. No, he won't get that body back, ever, though he works extremely hard at exercising the body he's now got. If your spouses were suddenly and permanently unable to do your outdoor pursuits and your mutual exercising etc., would you eventually lose so much of what mattered to you about them and the relationship that you'd leave?

The +1 PP here. Maybe you misunderstood what I was saying, but those lifestyle habits (eating healthy, not drinking) and the effort or priority placed on them is what is important to me in compatibility. I would obviously support my spouse and stay with them if they had an accident, I take my vows seriously. My attraction would wane if they didn't try to exercise within what their body allowed, didn't put effort into continuing to eat healthy, didn't take an active role in their own health. Becoming disabled or injured would not be associated with suddenly wanting to eat junk food, and if my DH were fully paralyzed, I'd get a wheelchair with thick wheels that could handle the trails and push him on runs, or a wheelchair bike for touring around the city. Whatever it took to enjoy outside time together. If he were partially paralyzed he'd be pacing me on my runs from a wheelchair. We have other shared interests beyond wellness too, it's just a value that we both share and prioritize.

NP Question for the last poster. What if The disabling accident caused your spouse to become severely depressed which in turn impacted his/her desire to exercise or eat healthily? Would you support him through that depression?.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.

+1

Also very athletic and married. I took a psychology course at one point in my undergrad where we looked at the data on how spouses influence each other's lifestyle habits for better or worse (exercise, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking) and it really stuck with me that I didn't want to date or marry someone who would make me a less healthy version of myself. DH and I are very closely aligned on wellness and fitness, and exercising together can be a very sexy activity.

NP. Asking seriously: What happens when a spouse cannot "stay healthy" as you define it? What if your previously athletic spouse, through accident, illness, etc., is physically compromised and his or her body changes through no fault of "lifestyle habits"? When that person is partially paralyzed, gains weight due to that (even with rehab exercises, you will end up gaining weight if you can't move around as you always did), appears more aged, etc.? I know someone to whom that happened, due to an accident, when he was young, athletic and thin. No, he won't get that body back, ever, though he works extremely hard at exercising the body he's now got. If your spouses were suddenly and permanently unable to do your outdoor pursuits and your mutual exercising etc., would you eventually lose so much of what mattered to you about them and the relationship that you'd leave?

The +1 PP here. Maybe you misunderstood what I was saying, but those lifestyle habits (eating healthy, not drinking) and the effort or priority placed on them is what is important to me in compatibility. I would obviously support my spouse and stay with them if they had an accident, I take my vows seriously. My attraction would wane if they didn't try to exercise within what their body allowed, didn't put effort into continuing to eat healthy, didn't take an active role in their own health. Becoming disabled or injured would not be associated with suddenly wanting to eat junk food, and if my DH were fully paralyzed, I'd get a wheelchair with thick wheels that could handle the trails and push him on runs, or a wheelchair bike for touring around the city. Whatever it took to enjoy outside time together. If he were partially paralyzed he'd be pacing me on my runs from a wheelchair. We have other shared interests beyond wellness too, it's just a value that we both share and prioritize.

I’m the first PP. An accident or illness would probably not change my spouse’s core personality, which is why I married him. He’s not a lazy person who lies on the couch all day expecting to be served. He has an active mind and finds hobbies outside of athletics (music for example). He eats pretty healthy too. When he has been injured, he went to PT and did the exercises to get better. It’s a priority of his to keep an active mind and body so that we lead a vibrant retired life where we can travel extensively (and not do bus tours or other sedentary trips).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm happily married, but if i ever get divorced it's important for the women I date to be athletic, childless, very successful and prosperous, highly intelligent, unusually attractive and about 20 years my junior ... and somehow still interested in me.

But if her belly button is an outie instead of an innie, then kick her to the curb!

[Anonymous]

IMO, there’s a difference between being athletic, being into exercise, being into being in shape, and enjoying active activities.

I think most women just want someone who will do the things they like do with them at least some of the time. I’m NOT athletic or in shape (and don’t care to be), but I do like to work out. But the most important thing is I like going out to do active (not necessarily strenuous) things like bike rides, swimming at the lake, paddle boarding, rafting, rollerblading, hitting up outdoor markets, hiking, gardening. All that matters is that my partner wants to do some of those things with me. I don’t otherwise care about his athleticism, gym membership status, or body composition.

[Anonymous]

I don’t necessarily care that he have a six pack or nice biceps (but that does definitely help!)

But I do want someone that eats the same way I do and is into the same activities, like hiking. Mostly because I don’t want the kind of relationship where we are basically living separate lives under the same roof. In past relationships, we would cook our own meals, eat separately, spend our weekends apart, etc. I’m not interested in that anymore.

I also got tired of men complaining about my diet. They hated what I cooked, but refused to learn how to cook things I could eat. And it’s nothing too crazy, I just asked for meals that weren’t swimming in greasy cheese.

I also do not want to take care of someone in my old age who is sick due to lifestyle choices. I watched a family member who was very healthy take care of her sick husband (who was sick due to poor lifestyle choices). They are basically saying that eating cake and pizza is more important to them than making sure I have a happy, fulfilling life.

[Anonymous]

I'm married female who works out about 1.5-2 hours per day. If I was ever single again, then the guy would need to be at least moderately active. He wouldn't have to match my level of fitness, but he would at least need to do some moderate exercise and eat a somewhat healthy diet. I'm not a health zealot like I used to be, and now I splurge on higher calorie/fat meals too. I love good food and could never go back to totally clean eating all the time.