Reply to Do athletic women find men attractive? What about unathletic men?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I’m an athletic woman, although married. I would not be attracted to an out of shape guy even if he was a high earner. I’d like someone to enjoy the great outdoors with me and stay healthy so we can have a long, active life.[/quote]

Also very athletic and married. I took a psychology course at one point in my undergrad where we looked at the data on how spouses influence each other's lifestyle habits for better or worse (exercise, obesity, alcohol consumption, smoking) and it really stuck with me that I didn't want to date or marry someone who would make me a less healthy version of myself. DH and I are very closely aligned on wellness and fitness, and exercising together can be a very sexy activity.[/quote]

NP. Asking seriously: What happens when a spouse cannot "stay healthy" as you define it? What if your previously athletic spouse, through accident, illness, etc., is physically compromised and his or her body changes through no fault of "lifestyle habits"? When that person is partially paralyzed, gains weight due to that (even with rehab exercises, you will end up gaining weight if you can't move around as you always did), appears more aged, etc.? I know someone to whom that happened, due to an accident, when he was young, athletic and thin. No, he won't get that body back, ever, though he works extremely hard at exercising the body he's now got. If your spouses were suddenly and permanently unable to do your outdoor pursuits and your mutual exercising etc., would you eventually lose so much of what mattered to you about them and the relationship that you'd leave? [/quote]

The +1 PP here. Maybe you misunderstood what I was saying, but those lifestyle habits (eating healthy, not drinking) and the effort or priority placed on them is what is important to me in compatibility. I would obviously support my spouse and stay with them if they had an accident, I take my vows seriously. My attraction would wane if they didn't try to exercise within what their body allowed, didn't put effort into continuing to eat healthy, didn't take an active role in their own health. Becoming disabled or injured would not be associated with suddenly wanting to eat junk food, and if my DH were fully paralyzed, I'd get a wheelchair with thick wheels that could handle the trails and push him on runs, or a wheelchair bike for touring around the city. Whatever it took to enjoy outside time together. If he were partially paralyzed he'd be pacing me on my runs from a wheelchair. We have other shared interests beyond wellness too, it's just a value that we both share and prioritize.[/quote]

NP Question for the last poster. What if The disabling accident caused your spouse to become severely depressed which in turn impacted his/her desire to exercise or eat healthily?  Would you support him through that depression?.  [/quote]

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