If you spent 14 hours straight with your children every day would you be happy?

[Anonymous]

6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

This is my current situation and not sure if I am fit for this. We cannot afford childcare at the moment due to my husband's job loss.

[Anonymous]

If your DH lost his job, is he not able to help you with the kids at all? I would lose my mind with that schedule, alone with the kids for their entire waking period without any breaks, but I imagine lots of people do it and are fine (military spouses come to mind).

[Anonymous]

I had years like that. My husband worked a lot of double shifts and he’d be home for maybe 6 hours before needing to head back, and would use every minute to shower, eat and sleep.

I found it hard when I just had a baby, when my kid was older, and when number two came along, it was fine and I remember it as a happy time.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not. My kids are in elementary school now, and I still have moments of slight panic if we are just hanging out and not going somewhere or doing something specific. I always think "What will I talk to her about?"

[Anonymous]

This has been my life since Covid and I love it, usually. The kids are 3 and 5 and play together well though. The younger ages are tougher.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I spend 24/7 except when husband takes over and he does help a lot. I'm happy doing it but not everyone is. My mom could never have done it. We've never hired a babysitter. No family help either. It got easier when kids were in ES and we could do lunch dates and other stuff.

[Anonymous]

So I’m on year #3 of this. It is rough. I never, ever wanted to be a SAHM, but we wound up moving overseas for DH’s job where I’m not permitted to work on my visa. We had our baby shortly after moving.

DH is gone from 7:00am to 7:00pm and travels half the month so I’m solo every other week. We do not have family help since we live ex-US and have been on a waiting list for part time preschool for more than a year. With the pandemic, an actual lockdown in the country we are in (curfew, no travel, essential stores only), and a long winter without much socialization for DC or me it has been extra hard.

I’d say the hardest parts of that schedule are isolation and lack of stimulation. It is SO important to have some me time whenever the SAHP can find it: nap time, early mornings or after dinner. The working parent of course needs time to compress too but the SAHP needs their time. For me, that’s getting out of the house alone for a run or errand. It also may take some sorting out to get your communication styles in sync. When my DH comes home from a busy day of meetings and running around he wants to decompress by watching a show or working out at night, when I’ve been starved for adult conversation all day and prefer to chat and get projects done together. It can take time to find a balance that works for both of you. Good luck. It is not easy.

[Anonymous]

Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

[Anonymous]

So...both of you aren't working?

[Anonymous]

I did the SAHM thing for 2 years. Hours were shorter (830a - 530p) , but I knew it wasn't for me long term. I left my job when I was 8 months pregnant for health reasons and we had planned I would stay home for the first few months anyways. Then an amazing opportunity for travel came about and we were gone for about a year. came back, did about another 6 months before it really set in that it wasn't something that would work for me. Enrolled DS in daycare shortly before he turned 2 and started working 3 days a week (12 hr shifts).

He's 8 now and that is still my schedule. It is the best of both worlds for me. I get to have that quality "SAHM" time with him but also get out of the house and work. While we didn't need me to work for financial reasons, I really hated being dependent on DH for money. I am very, very much a "life outside of being a mom" type of person and I think when I was a SAHM I felt like I didn't have that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

You sound like a lovely person. And I was a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. My kids are in elementary school now, and I still have moments of slight panic if we are just hanging out and not going somewhere or doing something specific. I always think "What will I talk to her about?"

Np. How old is your kid? My kids never ran out of things to say and I can't imagine that happening to me. Even with my dh and we have married a while conversation never gets boring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes I would be happy. My kids are my favorite people in the world and they have been since they were born. They are now way grown so it's not really a current question for me, but when I did it I was happy.

I did have breaks, my H would come home and gladly care for our kids when I went out to do stuff in the evenings and on weekends. In fact, he was jealous of me being the SAHP. He wanted to do it but he made a lot more money than I was capable of making then. Once they were in school that evened out somewhat.

We did not trust low paid daycare workers to spend long hours with our kids when they were very young. It was important to us that we personally cared for our kids. I find it hard to comprehend why others don't feel that way. I totally understand that many people don't comprehend why I feel the way I do too.

You sound like a lovely person. And I was a SAHM.

Dp. Why the eye roll? I think the pp does sound like a good person! Who wouldn't want highly paid qualified daycare for your kids? We don't have that yet but it is a good goal. Nothing wrong with wanting to care for your kids if you can afford it.

[Anonymous]

This is me now and I love it. Maybe it changes as kids get older though? Mine is only less than a year old

[Anonymous]

Now that they are older yes. Before they could entertain themselves independently and talk to me about interesting things, no. Not at all. Actually I know from experience and experienced periods of extreme depression. My mental health skyrocketed when the youngest entered kindergarten.

But now I don’t even set up camps for the sumner because I am happy being around them. They are 9 and 12 and it has been like this for a couple of years.