If you spent 14 hours straight with your children every day would you be happy?

[Anonymous]

This is me now and no I’m not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I didn’t have to do anything else, sure. If life was just pool days and park adventures and zoo trips I would have no problem. The thing is somehow women are also expected to keep house during time with kids and that I do not enjoy 14 hours of.

Keep house meaning cleaning and cooking? Hire a cleaner, like working moms do. Working moms also cook on top of working.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I didn’t have to do anything else, sure. If life was just pool days and park adventures and zoo trips I would have no problem. The thing is somehow women are also expected to keep house during time with kids and that I do not enjoy 14 hours of.

+1 It’s the housewife crap I couldn’t deal with. Just me and my kids? Bliss.

+2. Yep.

[Anonymous]

Op if your husband isn’t working why isn’t he partnering with you on childcare?

[Anonymous]

I've done it (been at home) since my kids were born and my kids are teens. My spouse makes great money so I've stayed home. It's been good to be "around" the house during the pandemic as our teenagers have been doing virtual school. Straight As, terrific testing scores, teachers telling me they are fantastic.

They'll come find me and talk to me for an hour at a time. Teens need you just as much, just in a different way. As a parent, you have to let them tell you what that "way" is. Our children have terrific grades, are calm, and have a good balance in things. Kids still need you all the way to 18. In fact, it gets more intense 15 to 18. When it matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

This is my current situation and not sure if I am fit for this. We cannot afford childcare at the moment due to my husband's job loss.

I would love it. But you have to have the temperament.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

This is my current situation and not sure if I am fit for this. We cannot afford childcare at the moment due to my husband's job loss.

I would love it. But you have to have the temperament.

What kind of temperament?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op if your husband isn’t working why isn’t he partnering with you on childcare?

+1

And also, nope, would not be happy, though I could prob power through temporarily (like for a month or two)

[Anonymous]

I do this. My 5 year old still naps. And he gets the choice to help me with chores like meal prep or playing on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've done it (been at home) since my kids were born and my kids are teens. My spouse makes great money so I've stayed home. It's been good to be "around" the house during the pandemic as our teenagers have been doing virtual school. Straight As, terrific testing scores, teachers telling me they are fantastic.

They'll come find me and talk to me for an hour at a time. Teens need you just as much, just in a different way. As a parent, you have to let them tell you what that "way" is. Our children have terrific grades, are calm, and have a good balance in things. Kids still need you all the way to 18. In fact, it gets more intense 15 to 18. When it matters.

Oh, come on. DD is almost 16, terrific grades at one of the top private schools, 3 sport varsity athlete, top scores, popular, happy, calm and kind. Great kid. I have always worked. DH easily could have supported us but I had aspirations too. And a JD/PhD

Parenting always matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

This is my current situation and not sure if I am fit for this. We cannot afford childcare at the moment due to my husband's job loss.

I would love it. But you have to have the temperament.

What kind of temperament?

You have to be the kind of person who enjoys spending most of your time with young children. Given that OP can't afford childcare, she also can't afford a housekeeper, so you have to be willing to put in at least half of the work (provided that your partner will put in the rest of it). You have to be willing to talk more with children than adults, and seek out enrichment (or provide it) for both yourself and your children. You have to be willing to try different things when your child is not who you expected; parent the child you have, not the child you wanted.

I'm a nanny who has worked 24/7. I have the temperament to be a sahm, but it's just not going to happen for me. While I am envious of those who do so, I also recognize (and offer suggestions when asked) that some have the situation thrust upon themselves, especially when the matter is a question of finances and not being able to afford childcare for multiple children..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

Hasn't this been nearly everyone for the majority of 2020?

[Anonymous]

Well this is what I have to do on weekends, and it makes me absolutely miserable. I’ve come to hate weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely not. My kids are in elementary school now, and I still have moments of slight panic if we are just hanging out and not going somewhere or doing something specific. I always think "What will I talk to her about?"

Wow; this is so sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:6am-8pm with your children everyday, no childcare, how would you do?

Hasn't this been nearly everyone for the majority of 2020?

Nope, a lot of us sent our children back to daycare. The idea that women's jobs are so unimportant that they should just stop doing them for a year (or neglect them while they care for their children) is pure misogyny.