What to expect at pediatrician visit for birth control?

[Anonymous]

Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?

I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens

[Anonymous]

I think I would discuss options with dd before the visit and come to a tentative decision. Then go over the choices with the doctor and discuss your pros and cons to see what they recommend. I’d probably insist on an IUD, because they’re highly effective and don’t rely on her remembering to take it daily. But I’d listen to relevant opinions.

I’d let DD decide how much of the exam she wants me there for. I’d allow for whatever privacy she needs to discuss concerns with the doctor, and also allow for privacy during the physical exam if she wants it. Do they do pelvic exams on sexually active teens? I mean they have to get all up in her business if they’re inserting an IUD but I’m not sure if they do it for the pill. I’d ask before the visit so I can prepare her. I’d also give a heads up beforehand so she knows what to expect during the exam, what topics will be discussed, then follow her lead. Also make sure the doctor tells her condoms are still needed even if she’s using birth control. Then I’d be buying condoms for her because I wouldn’t want to risk her being without them.

It feels awkward giving up control of medical issues, but she’s clearly already making her own decisions about her body, and I know I have some level of veto power if I absolutely need it. However, it’s probably not going to be effective to veto much, because it’s not hard to work around parents who try to stand in the way.

[Anonymous]

A girl who is mature enough to be having intercourse is mature enough for a pelvic exam.

OP I think 14 is too young. Can’t you keep her away from unsupervised contact with boyfriend? Until 16

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl who is mature enough to be having intercourse is mature enough for a pelvic exam.

OP I think 14 is too young. Can’t you keep her away from unsupervised contact with boyfriend? Until 16

+1 to bolder. To the rest, that ship has sailed.

Follow her lead. And prep her for the pelvic exam

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A girl who is mature enough to be having intercourse is mature enough for a pelvic exam.

OP I think 14 is too young. Can’t you keep her away from unsupervised contact with boyfriend? Until 16

+1 to bolder. To the rest, that ship has sailed.

Follow her lead. And prep her for the pelvic exam

I’m a CNM and see teens regularly who have recently become sexually active. First, it’s a really good and important thing that she chose to share this with you. So many young people don’t because they’re afraid of the reaction and this just leaves them at much greater risk. And yes, 14 IS very young but it’s not as far outside the norm as some people in would like to think. As far as birth control options go, the conversation and what to expect is going to really depend on her ped. Some know a lot about birth control and are a great resource, others just don’t know very much (this is directly from one of my closest friends who is a pediatrician and asks me for advice because outside of giving pills she’s not great at counseling on the various options, just wasn’t part of her training.) some pediatricians are pretty uncomfortable prescribing birth control at all, and may send messages to your DD that she shouldn’t be having sex. I certainly have plenty of patients whose pediatrician just want deal with this one in the office which Calleva young person trying to take their health into their own hands feeling lost and afraid. So if there’s a way to check in with them in advance on what you’re looking for is recommend. There are a lot of great resources out there on birth control options for her to think about, you can look at the Planned Parenthood website, bedsider.org is also useful. And please don’t force the pelvic exam, it’s not a punishment for becoming sexually active and it’s not necessary if she’s not having symptoms. STD testing IS definitely an important thing to do (this could be done using urine.) Good luck!

[Anonymous]

I would go to a gyn at this point, not a pediatrician. Of course she should have a pelvic exam and std testing. This is all a part of growing up and if she’s made the mature decision to be sexually active she needs to understand what goes along with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?

I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens

It might be worthwhile to call your ob/gyn to ask a bit about the process, and consider whether that is a better alternative to her pediatrician.

Also just talk with her and ask if she’d like you there. Agree with researching options beforehand, as well as what goes on during a pelvic exam, so she has that background and can come in with questions (and so can you, if she’d like you there).

This is an important step for your daughter. I would prep her to ask for a smaller speculum if she is alone. (It would have been nice to know that someone was going to stick their finger in my anus, as well.) I didn’t know about smaller sized speculums until my third ob gyn who said they were using one after I told them it didn’t hurt the way prior visits did. Pelvic exams don’t need to be hurtful, or scary. Or felt in any way as punishment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?

I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens

It might be worthwhile to call your ob/gyn to ask a bit about the process, and consider whether that is a better alternative to her pediatrician.

Also just talk with her and ask if she’d like you there. Agree with researching options beforehand, as well as what goes on during a pelvic exam, so she has that background and can come in with questions (and so can you, if she’d like you there).

This is an important step for your daughter. I would prep her to ask for a smaller speculum if she is alone. (It would have been nice to know that someone was going to stick their finger in my anus, as well.) I didn’t know about smaller sized speculums until my third ob gyn who said they were using one after I told them it didn’t hurt the way prior visits did. Pelvic exams don’t need to be hurtful, or scary. Or felt in any way as punishment.

Umm, I’m 38 and have been going to the gyn for 20+ Years in addition to having 3 children and I’ve never had someone stick a finger in my anus in any sort of exam.

[Anonymous]

Time for an OB GYN. If she can have sex, she can be subjected to the indignity of Pap smears.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?

I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens

It might be worthwhile to call your ob/gyn to ask a bit about the process, and consider whether that is a better alternative to her pediatrician.

Also just talk with her and ask if she’d like you there. Agree with researching options beforehand, as well as what goes on during a pelvic exam, so she has that background and can come in with questions (and so can you, if she’d like you there).

This is an important step for your daughter. I would prep her to ask for a smaller speculum if she is alone. (It would have been nice to know that someone was going to stick their finger in my anus, as well.) I didn’t know about smaller sized speculums until my third ob gyn who said they were using one after I told them it didn’t hurt the way prior visits did. Pelvic exams don’t need to be hurtful, or scary. Or felt in any way as punishment.

I think it’s required in NY.

Umm, I’m 38 and have been going to the gyn for 20+ Years in addition to having 3 children and I’ve never had someone stick a finger in my anus in any sort of exam.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would go to a gyn at this point, not a pediatrician. Of course she should have a pelvic exam and std testing. This is all a part of growing up and if she’s made the mature decision to be sexually active she needs to understand what goes along with that.

OP - Hopefully, she also knows that pleasure for women also goes along with sexual activity. If you haven’t had that discussion that sex isn’t necessarily over after a man comes, you may want to find a book to help her better understand sex and ask for what feels good to her.

This is a relatively short but good more comprehensive book, covering several topics about sex, no need to keep this from her now:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1936976846/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_awdb_imm_8CDNTRA7E0ZPS6XF7CT3?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1

This is also good: https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/1641522801/ref=sspa_mw_detail_0?ie=UTF8&psc=1&pd_rd_i=1641522801p13NParams#

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time for an OB GYN. If she can have sex, she can be subjected to the indignity of Pap smears.

Yeah, this is not the right approach. The exam is uncomfortable and embarassing but it is not a punishment for having sex. It’s a thing you have to do to take care of your health as an adult woman. I’m pretty sure you need Pap smears even if you’re not having sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A girl who is mature enough to be having intercourse is mature enough for a pelvic exam.

OP I think 14 is too young. Can’t you keep her away from unsupervised contact with boyfriend? Until 16

do you think a pelvic exam is punishment for having sex? because I can tell you as a mature 45 year old who has been having sex for 25+ years, I still find pelvic exams very invasive and stressful. They are not always necessary to prescribe birth control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Still in shock but 14 year old just told me she and boyfriend are having sex. His parents saw condom at his house. I am taking her to regular pediatrician to get birth control. Anybody done that before? Do I get to stay in room? Have say about type?

I am as scared as I was when about to see OB GYN. Dr office said they do prescribe for teens

It might be worthwhile to call your ob/gyn to ask a bit about the process, and consider whether that is a better alternative to her pediatrician.

Also just talk with her and ask if she’d like you there. Agree with researching options beforehand, as well as what goes on during a pelvic exam, so she has that background and can come in with questions (and so can you, if she’d like you there).

This is an important step for your daughter. I would prep her to ask for a smaller speculum if she is alone. (It would have been nice to know that someone was going to stick their finger in my anus, as well.) I didn’t know about smaller sized speculums until my third ob gyn who said they were using one after I told them it didn’t hurt the way prior visits did. Pelvic exams don’t need to be hurtful, or scary. Or felt in any way as punishment.

Umm, I’m 38 and have been going to the gyn for 20+ Years in addition to having 3 children and I’ve never had someone stick a finger in my anus in any sort of exam.

I had it happen one time. It was really upsetting.

[Anonymous]

Columbia has a great website called Go Ask Alice. I would tell her about it, it’s reliable information on a lot of stuff I wouldn’t want to talk to my teen about.

IUDs are great but it’s essential she use a barrier method for STDs. I dunno about getting on birth control at that age for that reason. Maybe just condoms would be better.