Pastor's reaction to suicidal thoughts

[Anonymous]

If you're grieving and depressed and confide in your pastor that you told God you'd rather be dead, he should refer you to mental health services, right? Mine got mad and told me I was throwing God's gift of life back in His face. Now I'm thinking of finding a new parish, which sucks because this church is like my family.

[Anonymous]

100% find a new place.

A Pastor of course should refer. The first rule of the job never to judge always try and help.

Apparently, yours is more concerned with donations and not being human.

[Anonymous]

I am so sorry you are struggling. I have been there. I would go to my PCM for a healthcare referral and evaluate my relationship with this pastor after you have taken care of your needs.

[Anonymous]

So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

[Anonymous]

Yikes. How long has he been your pastor? Is he usually helpful? Is he a jerk? Did he yell at you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. How long has he been your pastor? Is he usually helpful? Is he a jerk? Did he yell at you?

This actually happened about a year ago and I've only just now realized how messed up it was. He'd been my pastor for about 2 years at the time. I've been thinking things over because he's been verbally abusing people who disagree with him over the last few months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. How long has he been your pastor? Is he usually helpful? Is he a jerk? Did he yell at you?

This actually happened about a year ago and I've only just now realized how messed up it was. He'd been my pastor for about 2 years at the time. I've been thinking things over because he's been verbally abusing people who disagree with him over the last few months.

Omg! He’s verbally abusing his parishioners and no one is calling him out or reporting him to church leadership? He’s been verbally abusing his flock for months and no one has done anything? Is he doing this out in the open, in front of everyone? Need details! This is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

What an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

Don’t reach out to him for counseling anymore. It sounds like you know what you need, don’t involve him. Sorry. Usage

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. How long has he been your pastor? Is he usually helpful? Is he a jerk? Did he yell at you?

This actually happened about a year ago and I've only just now realized how messed up it was. He'd been my pastor for about 2 years at the time. I've been thinking things over because he's been verbally abusing people who disagree with him over the last few months.

Omg! He’s verbally abusing his parishioners and no one is calling him out or reporting him to church leadership? He’s been verbally abusing his flock for months and no one has done anything? Is he doing this out in the open, in front of everyone? Need details! This is unacceptable.

We contacted the parish council last week and they don't really seem to be willing to do anything. I'm too scared to go over his head to the bishop but maybe we need to. It's all been in private or over text message so not in front of anyone. I only found out about my friends' experiences last week.

[Anonymous]

Leave. Pastoral counseling is part of what makes a great pastor. An enormous element of that is realizing when mental health professional help is need and referring people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

Is that the verbal abuse? He might not be the best counselor, but that’s not abusive language. Did he yell or something when he said this to you?

[Anonymous]

He doesn't seem very introspective. I wouldn't even value his opinion if he is verbally abusing others. I have the "gift of life" and everything else anyone could want and have still contemplated suicide. There is a huge disconnect to an issue he does not understand.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yikes. How long has he been your pastor? Is he usually helpful? Is he a jerk? Did he yell at you?

This actually happened about a year ago and I've only just now realized how messed up it was. He'd been my pastor for about 2 years at the time. I've been thinking things over because he's been verbally abusing people who disagree with him over the last few months.

Omg! He’s verbally abusing his parishioners and no one is calling him out or reporting him to church leadership? He’s been verbally abusing his flock for months and no one has done anything? Is he doing this out in the open, in front of everyone? Need details! This is unacceptable.

We contacted the parish council last week and they don't really seem to be willing to do anything. I'm too scared to go over his head to the bishop but maybe we need to. It's all been in private or over text message so not in front of anyone. I only found out about my friends' experiences last week.

Well, what is the abuse? Can you call the police? Abusive behavior is illegal.