Pastor's reaction to suicidal thoughts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

Is that the verbal abuse? He might not be the best counselor, but that’s not abusive language. Did he yell or something when he said this to you?

No, he has recently verbally abused my friends for disagreeing with him about things. Though telling me I have a miserable attitude was kind of mean.

[Anonymous]

OP,

He is unfit for his duties and you should relay your concerns with his hierarchical superior. The more they document his behavior, the better they will be able to respond. He could have mental health issues, or just not be in the right profession

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

Is that the verbal abuse? He might not be the best counselor, but that’s not abusive language. Did he yell or something when he said this to you?

No, he has recently verbally abused my friends for disagreeing with him about things. Though telling me I have a miserable attitude was kind of mean.

What did he say? Did he yell, curse, say sexual things?

[Anonymous]

You need a real therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need a real therapist.

I'm actively looking for one. The last one I tried was really dismissive of my feelings and kept trying to make lame jokes. It's proving hard to find a good fit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

If you knew the right answer, why bother to ask him? Just go seek out mental health support.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So sorry, OP. If you are expecting a referral to MH services, you are smart enough to seek that out and don’t need a religious nonexpert. Talk to you primary care physician.

I mean I don't expect a direct referral but maybe "it sounds like you are suicidal and very depressed, I really encourage you to find a good therapist" would have been a better way to approach it. Instead he's always telling me I need to practice contentment and that getting what I want (a pregnancy I don't lose) won't solve things because I'll still have a miserable attitude.

If you knew the right answer, why bother to ask him? Just go seek out mental health support.

I know the right answer now. At the time, dealing with severe depression and crushing grief, I didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need a real therapist.

I'm actively looking for one. The last one I tried was really dismissive of my feelings and kept trying to make lame jokes. It's proving hard to find a good fit.

I want to know what the pastor said to verbally abuse church members. That would not fly at my church. Especially many incidents of said behavior.

[Anonymous]

If he’s texting people verbally abusive things in conversation via phone, that’s excellent evidence.

[Anonymous]

What tradition/denomination are you in?

[Anonymous]

Basically the whole purpose of religion is to judge. Some religions believe you will go to hell if you kill yourself. Please call a suicide prevention line and get some help. Your life is worth living snd there are people who you don’t even know who would be severely impacted if you weren’t here anymore.

[Anonymous]

all I can offer you is a virtual hug.

I also had my clergy let me down. I found a new place, but it wasn't the whole answer because I lost my community.

On the other hand, at some point, the members of the parish, community are enablers if a clergy isn't supportive and it is allowed to continue. Maybe that can help with letting go?

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I don’t think I’d ask my pastor for help if I had mental health struggles, especially with suicidal ideation.
Although I know it can be a viable option, I’d want a therapist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What tradition/denomination are you in?

Catholic

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, I don’t think I’d ask my pastor for help if I had mental health struggles, especially with suicidal ideation.
Although I know it can be a viable option, I’d want a therapist.

I wasn't asking him for help. I was in confession and confessed that I had told God I would rather be dead. It's just that looking back I think he should have said "Hey, these are symptoms of depression and you should really get help" instead of harshly scolding me when I was already crying. But I guess I know better now than to assume clergy can be bothered to consider that someone's confession might be a result of mental illness and not willful sin.