Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From people still attending ANC it appears that it's really struggled over COVID. One services now with a handful of folks with a bit larger online presence. A lot of the old school members have left, some to other churches, some to no churches at all. I don't even think any Hatmakers go there anymore. They haven't been seen in a couple of years. They moved into an old UMC church in South Austin right before COVID and I believe they are now aligned with this denomination but I am not 100% sure.

I believe they’ve always been under the UMC umbrella although they never called themselves Methodists. If I’m not mistaken, the UMC may have been a source of the initial funding of the church plant itself. But, I could be way off base here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Why aren't you friends anymore?

Not real sure. I think maybe I wasn’t cool enough?

I felt there was a lot of that. If you weren’t “cool” enough, you got cast aside. Kinda Jr High/High School-ish. I didn’t get that same feeling with Tray, Matthew or John Church, nor other members.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Tell us what you know about the divorce and the events leading up to it.

This!

I do not know the exact reasons. Their inner circle is very, very tight. The sheltons, the Pruitt’s, a few others. It should be noted that Tray and Brandon used to be BFFs and it appears they no longer speak.

Jen - who was a Jennifer to everyone pre-fame - didn’t really mingle with those outside the inner circle. Even before she was “famous”. She was known for being pretty unreliable. Like if one of us had a baby & she signed up to bring a meal, probably be ready to order pizza. She just wasn’t a very good friend, tbh. She was barely involved in church - that was all Brandon’s gig. She showed up on Sunday, not much else. Definitely not the normal preachers wife. That was handled by another couple of church members, one in particular, and when that lady moved away, all the organizing & fellowship etc ended. There was the inner circle but Jen treated even her dear old friends like she was too busy to be bothered most of the time. You know that friend where you do most of yhe “work”, then you realize it’s pretty one sided, you start to see that they only seem to call you if they need something … that’s Jen. Once she began adding “famous” people to her friend list, that only deepened. You can’t return your friend’s call but you can go on a girls weekend with bloggers you’ve seen in the flesh like twice? Oh, okay. Lots of hurt feelings. Lots.

Re the divorce. So we are speculating as much as anyone. But after Brandon’s friend was killed, which was awful, I think Brandon spiraled downhill fast. Lots of posts of whiskey by the firepit & often looked glassy eyed.

My guess is that Brandon was emasculated by Jen’s success. I think the whole affirming thing - which was a cluster & basically demolished the church - did a number on him too because had said clearly in the past that he did not believe that homosexuality was compatible with scripture. So having a gay child can do a number on your faith, especially if you’re already in despair. Kinda seemed like he had to choose his daughter or being true to his faith, and he chose his daughter.

Jen is a bit of of a me monster. Always was. Take a me monster, then give her 100k followers, who if she picked her nose would gush over how stunning and brave her boogers were. Is this who you’d want to be married to if you were facing a major spiritual crisis after accidentally causing the death of one of your closest friends?

Obviously there were some financial issues.

Brandon was always a sweet, gentle guy. I cannot see him cheating. Any man can - I’ve been shocked before - but just know that he would be high on the shocked list. I also can’t see him being involved in something crazy like child porn etc. Really not his nature. I have friends who are still close to both of them and while not spilling tea, they have shown grace to Brandon. Whatever happened I believe was on the more boring side.

I think he went through a major depression, spiraled downward, and what that led to is speculative but obviously involved finances. Gambling? Dunno.

Despite her flaws, I liked Jen. But the way that she has vilified brandon online is disgusting, no matter what he did, and I’ve lost respect for her. I suspect parental alienation, altho that seems to be on the mend. Her martyr complex is really hard to watch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Why aren't you friends anymore?

Not real sure. I think maybe I wasn’t cool enough?

I felt there was a lot of that. If you weren’t “cool” enough, you got cast aside. Kinda Jr High/High School-ish. I didn’t get that same feeling with Tray, Matthew or John Church, nor other members.

I agree w you, especially re John (who left ANC long ago) but beg to differ re Tray. I think Tray is a pompous ass.

[Anonymous]

There were some truly lovely people there when I was there. For awhile it was a wonderful and welcome church committed to the right things. Then it got weird or sure. Right around the time the Hatmakers became super famous. It felt like ANC was more and more a vehicle for self-promotion, which looking back, makes me sort of sad. One of the stranger things about ANC was that their public posture was one of having a super, tight knit community that was all about giving and serving the community. In reality, though, it was very cliqueish, disjointed, remote, and barely-engaged at the leadership level. On months with five Sundays they'd take church "off" and we'd farm out to do various community service projects, which were a great idea, but I never saw the Hatmakers during these Sundays and there was very little outside church community to speak off apart from this. No real mentorship or shepherding or anything like that. It wasn't a normal church in a lot of ways, being honest.

[Anonymous]

I never understood the JM hire. That guy bugged me from the get go. He was such a Jen superfan. it was like he was working for her and her alone. Someone above said he was smarmy. Exactly. This. Anyone not in her tight circle was an after thought and a lot of people noticed and left.

He seemed to be really hungry for some sort of social media fame or something, like to be the next Rob Bell. I wonder how he feels about ANC now that it doesn't look like the Hatmakers go there anymore at all. Dude, you backed the wrong horse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were some truly lovely people there when I was there. For awhile it was a wonderful and welcome church committed to the right things. Then it got weird or sure. Right around the time the Hatmakers became super famous. It felt like ANC was more and more a vehicle for self-promotion, which looking back, makes me sort of sad. One of the stranger things about ANC was that their public posture was one of having a super, tight knit community that was all about giving and serving the community. In reality, though, it was very cliqueish, disjointed, remote, and barely-engaged at the leadership level. On months with five Sundays they'd take church "off" and we'd farm out to do various community service projects, which were a great idea, but I never saw the Hatmakers during these Sundays and there was very little outside church community to speak off apart from this. No real mentorship or shepherding or anything like that. It wasn't a normal church in a lot of ways, being honest.

I could have written this myself without changing one word. I think there are 3? former church members here, and we are all saying the exact same things.

There were 2-3 CCR lay families who did all the work. Once they left, the church fell apart. That and the “were affirming” bomb that Jen dropped in an interview without discussing it first with any of the elders. 2/3 of the church left in the weeks after that. That was very, very, very painful for a whole lot of sweet, loving people who had devoted years to building ANC, who were now considered hateful bigots by their pastors/friends, *literally* overnight. Heads and hearts spinning like tops. But, it made Jen the darling of progressive Christianity, so, priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Why aren't you friends anymore?

Not real sure. I think maybe I wasn’t cool enough?

I felt there was a lot of that. If you weren’t “cool” enough, you got cast aside. Kinda Jr High/High School-ish. I didn’t get that same feeling with Tray, Matthew or John Church, nor other members.

I agree w you, especially re John (who left ANC long ago) but beg to differ re Tray. I think Tray is a pompous ass.

I can definitely see where you see that- my interactions were not very deep but he does have a bit of that sense to him. But, I did see him interact with the congregation more than I ever did BH or JH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were some truly lovely people there when I was there. For awhile it was a wonderful and welcome church committed to the right things. Then it got weird or sure. Right around the time the Hatmakers became super famous. It felt like ANC was more and more a vehicle for self-promotion, which looking back, makes me sort of sad. One of the stranger things about ANC was that their public posture was one of having a super, tight knit community that was all about giving and serving the community. In reality, though, it was very cliqueish, disjointed, remote, and barely-engaged at the leadership level. On months with five Sundays they'd take church "off" and we'd farm out to do various community service projects, which were a great idea, but I never saw the Hatmakers during these Sundays and there was very little outside church community to speak off apart from this. No real mentorship or shepherding or anything like that. It wasn't a normal church in a lot of ways, being honest.

Perfectly written. I agree 💯.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Tell us what you know about the divorce and the events leading up to it.

This!

I do not know the exact reasons. Their inner circle is very, very tight. The sheltons, the Pruitt’s, a few others. It should be noted that Tray and Brandon used to be BFFs and it appears they no longer speak.

Jen - who was a Jennifer to everyone pre-fame - didn’t really mingle with those outside the inner circle. Even before she was “famous”. She was known for being pretty unreliable. Like if one of us had a baby & she signed up to bring a meal, probably be ready to order pizza. She just wasn’t a very good friend, tbh. She was barely involved in church - that was all Brandon’s gig. She showed up on Sunday, not much else. Definitely not the normal preachers wife. That was handled by another couple of church members, one in particular, and when that lady moved away, all the organizing & fellowship etc ended. There was the inner circle but Jen treated even her dear old friends like she was too busy to be bothered most of the time. You know that friend where you do most of yhe “work”, then you realize it’s pretty one sided, you start to see that they only seem to call you if they need something … that’s Jen. Once she began adding “famous” people to her friend list, that only deepened. You can’t return your friend’s call but you can go on a girls weekend with bloggers you’ve seen in the flesh like twice? Oh, okay. Lots of hurt feelings. Lots.

Re the divorce. So we are speculating as much as anyone. But after Brandon’s friend was killed, which was awful, I think Brandon spiraled downhill fast. Lots of posts of whiskey by the firepit & often looked glassy eyed.

My guess is that Brandon was emasculated by Jen’s success. I think the whole affirming thing - which was a cluster & basically demolished the church - did a number on him too because had said clearly in the past that he did not believe that homosexuality was compatible with scripture. So having a gay child can do a number on your faith, especially if you’re already in despair. Kinda seemed like he had to choose his daughter or being true to his faith, and he chose his daughter.

Jen is a bit of of a me monster. Always was. Take a me monster, then give her 100k followers, who if she picked her nose would gush over how stunning and brave her boogers were. Is this who you’d want to be married to if you were facing a major spiritual crisis after accidentally causing the death of one of your closest friends?

Obviously there were some financial issues.

Brandon was always a sweet, gentle guy. I cannot see him cheating. Any man can - I’ve been shocked before - but just know that he would be high on the shocked list. I also can’t see him being involved in something crazy like child porn etc. Really not his nature. I have friends who are still close to both of them and while not spilling tea, they have shown grace to Brandon. Whatever happened I believe was on the more boring side.

I think he went through a major depression, spiraled downward, and what that led to is speculative but obviously involved finances. Gambling? Dunno.

Despite her flaws, I liked Jen. But the way that she has vilified brandon online is disgusting, no matter what he did, and I’ve lost respect for her. I suspect parental alienation, altho that seems to be on the mend. Her martyr complex is really hard to watch.


Agree. Your experience is very similar to mine. I never knew them that well. JH is pretty self centered if you ask me; hence the unreliability part. She does t respect others and she doesn’t do anything out of the goodness of heart— it’s pretty much all about her or what is she getting out of whatever it is she’s doing. In no way do I think that anything for anyone else that doesn’t have an ROI for her personally. I dare say the adoption of her children included. They are precious and always were, but it was still about her; it just was.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Why aren't you friends anymore?

Not real sure. I think maybe I wasn’t cool enough?

I felt there was a lot of that. If you weren’t “cool” enough, you got cast aside. Kinda Jr High/High School-ish. I didn’t get that same feeling with Tray, Matthew or John Church, nor other members.

I agree w you, especially re John (who left ANC long ago) but beg to differ re Tray. I think Tray is a pompous ass.

I can definitely see where you see that- my interactions were not very deep but he does have a bit of that sense to him. But, I did see him interact with the congregation more than I ever did BH or JH.

A story I heard from a reliable source:
Once someone sent Jen a heartfelt email about how one of her books had influenced her.
Tray said, regarding the emailer, “she’s just another corn-eater.”
Corneater: someone who would be happy eat the corn kernels out of Jen’s shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Tell us what you know about the divorce and the events leading up to it.

This!

Agree. Your experience is very similar to mine. I never knew them that well. JH is pretty self centered if you ask me; hence the unreliability part. She does t respect others and she doesn’t do anything out of the goodness of heart— it’s pretty much all about her or what is she getting out of whatever it is she’s doing. In no way do I think that anything for anyone else that doesn’t have an ROI for her personally. I dare say the adoption of her children included. They are precious and always were, but it was still about her; it just was.

I hope you’re wrong.
But as far as the adoptions being unethical - there was lots of corruption in international adoption to be sure. But I’ve heard the backstories on the kids, and I don’t think they were. Just because parents are alive doesn’t mean they weren’t crappy parents who abandoned their kids, same as we have crappy parents here in the US. Families > orphanages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Tell us what you know about the divorce and the events leading up to it.

This!

Agree. Your experience is very similar to mine. I never knew them that well. JH is pretty self centered if you ask me; hence the unreliability part. She does t respect others and she doesn’t do anything out of the goodness of heart— it’s pretty much all about her or what is she getting out of whatever it is she’s doing. In no way do I think that anything for anyone else that doesn’t have an ROI for her personally. I dare say the adoption of her children included. They are precious and always were, but it was still about her; it just was.

I hope you’re wrong.
But as far as the adoptions being unethical - there was lots of corruption in international adoption to be sure. But I’ve heard the backstories on the kids, and I don’t think they were. Just because parents are alive doesn’t mean they weren’t crappy parents who abandoned their kids, same as we have crappy parents here in the US. Families > orphanages.

I’m no way am I saying the adoption was unethical- I think she took advantage of and monetized it in ther celebrity. It’s just the feeling I get from it all. I got that from some of her writings…. It just was unseemly to me. I’m sure others disagree.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone actually attended ANC since COVID? I watched a little of a service on YouTube and it was sort of unrecognizable compared to when I was a partner. Low low energy and looked to be a skeleton crew but good to see that the music was still really good (thanks Lamar). JM’s preaching is like a TedTalk with too many strained efforts at humor. No Hatmaker in sight. No one I really recognized in sight besides Tray but it’s hard to tell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I was fairly good friends with JH for several years.
Can’t promise I’ll answer, but feel free to AMA.

Tell us what you know about the divorce and the events leading up to it.

This!

Agree. Your experience is very similar to mine. I never knew them that well. JH is pretty self centered if you ask me; hence the unreliability part. She does t respect others and she doesn’t do anything out of the goodness of heart— it’s pretty much all about her or what is she getting out of whatever it is she’s doing. In no way do I think that anything for anyone else that doesn’t have an ROI for her personally. I dare say the adoption of her children included. They are precious and always were, but it was still about her; it just was.

I hope you’re wrong.
But as far as the adoptions being unethical - there was lots of corruption in international adoption to be sure. But I’ve heard the backstories on the kids, and I don’t think they were. Just because parents are alive doesn’t mean they weren’t crappy parents who abandoned their kids, same as we have crappy parents here in the US. Families > orphanages.

I’m no way am I saying the adoption was unethical- I think she took advantage of and monetized it in ther celebrity. It’s just the feeling I get from it all. I got that from some of her writings…. It just was unseemly to me. I’m sure others disagree.

Should have clarified I wasn’t directing that at you. On previous posts some had insinuated they were unethical because Ben’s mom was living.