DS attended indoor mask “playdate”. Need to reciprocate but don’t care if friend wears mask. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

DS went his friend’s house and was told to bring and wear a mask. I will need to reciprocate at some point and I don’t care if the kid wears a mask. I am actually planning to stay maskless (have no idea if anyone in their house besides my son wore a mask). How do I frame this mask wearing preference? I will need to convey this to my kid who will then convey this to his friend and the friend will or won’t convey this to his dad. Also, do I make my son wear a mask too if the other kid chooses to wear his? I guess so!
Fwiw I am vaccinated and the only adult in the house.

[Anonymous]

OP here: basically how do I tell the kid he is welcome to not wear a mask unless he or his parents prefer to wear it.

[Anonymous]

You don't need to say anything. Just invite them. Let them wear a mask if that's how they're comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Or do I just say nothing and if kid wears a mask so be it?

[Anonymous]

You should not be doing indoor playdates. How is this even a question. Don't you care about your child's health?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You don't need to say anything. Just invite them. Let them wear a mask if that's how they're comfortable.

But do I make my son wear one, and do I wear one myself? They will mostly be in DS’s room so I plan to take it off but when they are in the common areas?

[Anonymous]

I generally ask the parents what they're comfortable with and just do that. Things are changing real fast right now so i think within a couple weeks things will have generally shaken out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally ask the parents what they're comfortable with and just do that. Things are changing real fast right now so i think within a couple weeks things will have generally shaken out.

The dad is known for his hands off attitude (in a good way) so the boys planned it all - I was only consulted on the time. Which I loved tbh.
I guess I will ask my kid if anyone else wore masks there and act accordingly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I generally ask the parents what they're comfortable with and just do that. Things are changing real fast right now so i think within a couple weeks things will have generally shaken out.

The dad is known for his hands off attitude (in a good way) so the boys planned it all - I was only consulted on the time. Which I loved tbh.
I guess I will ask my kid if anyone else wore masks there and act accordingly.

You cannot expect kids to negotiate this pandemic stuff. People have different levels of comfort, obviously. It's not up to your kid's friend, it's up to their parent.

I would communicate with the parent:
Hi, (your kid) has invited (their kid) for a playdate on x date. It is fine with me if the kids do not wear masks, unless you prefer that they do wear masks. I am fully vaccinated, so I don't plan to wear a mask unless you are uncomfortable with that. Please let me know whether (their kid) can attend and your mask preferences. Looking forward to it!

[Anonymous]

Your plan should be communicated with the other parents. Your house so you can do what you want but if I knew that you were not wearing mask while in a common area inside where my child is present, I would not send them. I would also expect the friend to wear a mask at all times they are together inside. This is what I’ve done for inside gatherings with kids. If not, we can meet outside maskless or just cancel.

[Anonymous]

Just talk to the kid’s parents and let them know that you are comfortable with the kids not wearing masks if they are. If they’d rather kids wear masks, that is fine. You do not need to be masked in your own house, particularly if you are vaccinated. It sounds like the kids are old enough that you won’t be getting physically close to them anyway.

[Anonymous]

OP if the other child and their family wore masks, the polite thing to do would be to wear masks yourselves. You know this.

Or you could be an adult and call/text and say "Hey I know the boys are past the age of communication between parents, but how would you prefer we handle masks? My spouse and I are fully vaccinated."

[Anonymous]

You need to check with the parent. If you refuse to wear a mask or have your son wear one and that is important to them, then they need the chance to decline.

[Anonymous]

This feels a little disingenuous to me. You know the other family’s preference. They requested that your child wear a mask. They were clear about that in their initial invite. If you really feel strongly about no masks or this play date was months ago, so you feel they could have evolved their position, have a conversation with them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I generally ask the parents what they're comfortable with and just do that. Things are changing real fast right now so i think within a couple weeks things will have generally shaken out.

This is what I do too.