Anyone Feel Guilty for Isolating Their Kids due to COVID???

[Anonymous]

We’ve been really careful since the beginning of the pandemic, which has meant very limited human interaction for our 6-year-old. Her school has been virtual since last March, camps were canceled. We did work hard to make outdoor playdates happen last summer and early fall, but in November it got too cold plus we moved to a place where we didn’t know anyone. Normally we’d do outings at the children’s museum, playgrounds etc, but being in crowded places felt unsafe. So we’d go places but keep a distance and she wouldn’t get to interact with other kids. Besides us and her grandparents (once they got vaccinated), she hasn’t really had any contact with people.


She’s always been really quiet and shy, and this year seems to have made it worse. We’re trying to make up for lost time by signing her up for classes, camp this summer, etc, but I feel like I’ve messed her up and I’m a terrible mom. Especially looking at everyone I know who didn’t take precautions at all and none of them or their kids got seriously sick and I’m kind of feeling like an idiot. People were pretty judgy about us trying to follow the COVID rules, so I’m really second guessing if we were wrong to do that.

Obviously the ideal would be to have a few close friends taking the same level of precautions and hang out with them, but we just didn’t have any friends like that.

At this point I kind of feel like throwing all caution to the wind, esp because my DH and I are completing our own vaccinations, and just letting her socialize in any way we can get - inside, outside, masks, no masks, getting up close in each other’s faces, etc. In our area other people just don’t seem to care the same way we do, so the other kids don’t wear masks or distance.

It feels like such a lose-lose situation for me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been really careful since the beginning of the pandemic, which has meant very limited human interaction for our 6-year-old. Her school has been virtual since last March, camps were canceled. We did work hard to make outdoor playdates happen last summer and early fall, but in November it got too cold plus we moved to a place where we didn’t know anyone. Normally we’d do outings at the children’s museum, playgrounds etc, but being in crowded places felt unsafe. So we’d go places but keep a distance and she wouldn’t get to interact with other kids. Besides us and her grandparents (once they got vaccinated), she hasn’t really had any contact with people.


She’s always been really quiet and shy, and this year seems to have made it worse. We’re trying to make up for lost time by signing her up for classes, camp this summer, etc, but I feel like I’ve messed her up and I’m a terrible mom. Especially looking at everyone I know who didn’t take precautions at all and none of them or their kids got seriously sick and I’m kind of feeling like an idiot. People were pretty judgy about us trying to follow the COVID rules, so I’m really second guessing if we were wrong to do that.

Obviously the ideal would be to have a few close friends taking the same level of precautions and hang out with them, but we just didn’t have any friends like that.

At this point I kind of feel like throwing all caution to the wind, esp because my DH and I are completing our own vaccinations, and just letting her socialize in any way we can get - inside, outside, masks, no masks, getting up close in each other’s faces, etc. In our area other people just don’t seem to care the same way we do, so the other kids don’t wear masks or distance.

It feels like such a lose-lose situation for me.

I am so sorry OP. Do what’s right by your kid and don’t let the judging Karens dictate your choices. Seriously, look at the data and make your own decisions.

[Anonymous]

You made the right decisions with the information you had. Don’t feel like a terrible mom, and you did not ruin her. Kids are resilient. I like your plan. I suggest you help your daughter facilitate friendships now. Help her approach kids on playgrounds, start games and involve others, and bring fun toys/props to share.

[Anonymous]

What's done is done, but going forward you should consider her mental health in the equation. If you and DH are vaccinated and you live in an area where people aren't taking big precautions with their kids, well, that's just how it is. Personally, in your situation, given you and DH are vaccinated, I would relax the rules at least as far as going to playgrounds -- including unmasked if that's what the kids are doing there. Not sure I'd be thrilled about indoor playdates and I sure as heck would not be doing indoor museums and such if no one is masked. But outside risk really is very, very low. And spring, summer, and fall are conducive to outdoor playdates. So she's been isolated so far -- she doesn't have to be now. Get her outside, meet your neighbors where they are (not literally -- in literal terms, only meet them outside, haha), and start making some friends.

Everything is a balance and a trade-off of risk. You made the best decisions you could until this point, but maybe now it's time to shift the balance in the other direction for the sake her emotional and social development.

[Anonymous]

Not at all.

And we continue to mask and maintain safe distances, without any regret whatsoever.

[Anonymous]

OP it sounds like you did overreact but there is nothing you can do about that now. Just move forward with a new determination to help her make up for lost time and experiences. She’ll be fine in the long run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been really careful since the beginning of the pandemic, which has meant very limited human interaction for our 6-year-old. Her school has been virtual since last March, camps were canceled. We did work hard to make outdoor playdates happen last summer and early fall, but in November it got too cold plus we moved to a place where we didn’t know anyone. Normally we’d do outings at the children’s museum, playgrounds etc, but being in crowded places felt unsafe. So we’d go places but keep a distance and she wouldn’t get to interact with other kids. Besides us and her grandparents (once they got vaccinated), she hasn’t really had any contact with people.


She’s always been really quiet and shy, and this year seems to have made it worse. We’re trying to make up for lost time by signing her up for classes, camp this summer, etc, but I feel like I’ve messed her up and I’m a terrible mom. Especially looking at everyone I know who didn’t take precautions at all and none of them or their kids got seriously sick and I’m kind of feeling like an idiot. People were pretty judgy about us trying to follow the COVID rules, so I’m really second guessing if we were wrong to do that.

Obviously the ideal would be to have a few close friends taking the same level of precautions and hang out with them, but we just didn’t have any friends like that.

At this point I kind of feel like throwing all caution to the wind, esp because my DH and I are completing our own vaccinations, and just letting her socialize in any way we can get - inside, outside, masks, no masks, getting up close in each other’s faces, etc. In our area other people just don’t seem to care the same way we do, so the other kids don’t wear masks or distance.

It feels like such a lose-lose situation for me.

I am so sorry OP. Do what’s right by your kid and don’t let the judging Karens dictate your choices. Seriously, look at the data and make your own decisions.

Oh! I also want to tell you it’s not your fault. Our country’s media were extremely biased toward bad news. athey made the virus political - just look at wxtended school closures that persisted in blue areas.

“ They found news coverage of the pandemic in the U.S. was “shockingly negative” and bleaker than in international news outlets or scientific journals, Sacerdote says.

The study revealed nearly 90% of articles from major U.S. news organizations were negative compared to just 50% to 60% from major international media sources”

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.wbur.org/hereandnow/2021/04/05/news-media-negative-coronavirus

[Anonymous]

there’s definitely a point where the child’s mental health and development need to be placed above marginal health risks. we were comfortable with 1:1 indoor masked playdates with one family all winter, and now that we are vaxxed we are doing more activities. also in school in person and planning on camp.

[Anonymous]

Not in this self-righteous liberal city!

Everywhere else, yes.

Why do you think the mass media stopped publishing how low symptomatic positives or hospitalizations are? or how all the catholic schools in the country have been open since August 2020? Or how all the day cares of essential workers have been open since April 2020 with no real issues?

[Anonymous]

Let go of feeling like an idiot - there's nothing you can do about it now. It's happened. Nobody has any experience living through a pandemic, and unfortunately this pandemic because very political when it shouldn't have.

Just move forward. I would not enroll her in a ton of things - that's creating culture shock. Ease in to socializing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in this self-righteous liberal city!

Everywhere else, yes.

Why do you think the mass media stopped publishing how low symptomatic positives or hospitalizations are? or how all the catholic schools in the country have been open since August 2020? Or how all the day cares of essential workers have been open since April 2020 with no real issues?

Around here all of that has been open with masks. And I've sent my kids to them since September so I am all for it. I am not sure I'd have been all for it in an area where no one wore masks inside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in this self-righteous liberal city!

Everywhere else, yes.

Why do you think the mass media stopped publishing how low symptomatic positives or hospitalizations are? or how all the catholic schools in the country have been open since August 2020? Or how all the day cares of essential workers have been open since April 2020 with no real issues?

The lack of testing and contact tracing ENSURES that no issues can ever be found, PP. It's so convenient for all the business-as-usual people to forget that this pandemic is driven by asymptomatic cases. Community spread has to reach the vulnerable, elderly and sick among us before anyone realizes it's too late... unless we implement systematic pooled testing and contact tracing, which the USA (and many other countries) refuses to do.

[Anonymous]

So you've been acting like a normal, responsible person all this time, and you feel guilty about it?

Weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not in this self-righteous liberal city!

Everywhere else, yes.

Why do you think the mass media stopped publishing how low symptomatic positives or hospitalizations are? or how all the catholic schools in the country have been open since August 2020? Or how all the day cares of essential workers have been open since April 2020 with no real issues?

Haha. You sound like my classmate who did not believe in covid.

Now he is upset on social media because he has been sick as a dog with covid for 14 days.

My local paper publishes hospitalization daily, as do most daily Metros. And the Catholic school shut down for months this winter because of high cases.

Your whole post is lie.

[Anonymous]

No, of course I don’t feel guilty! Not one tiny bit. We acted in the best interest of our children and our community.

I know it’s going to be hard for my son to start school after seeing virtually no one but us and nanny for a year. But we’ll help him adjust and so will his preschool. He’ll be fine. He’s healthy and we, as a family, didn’t spread the virus to anyone.