Anyone Feel Guilty for Isolating Their Kids due to COVID???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

+1
100% liberal/pro science and vaccines here- We left DC for Florida and have never been happier. Ability to take kids to playgrounds and for everyone to socialize outdoors, responsibly.
Good quality childcare at reasonable price and weather alone have improved our quality of life 100x over.
It boggles my mind that the freaking libraries are still closed in DC.

[Anonymous]

It's a lesson learned - you need to use your own critical thinking and realize that what people say and post on social media is often for show.

Next time, make your own choices. Don't worry so much about advertising your choices to fit in with friends. When your kids are young this is usually one of the big things that seem to trip moms up in this ultra liberal area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're not a terrible mom, and you're also not alone in exaggerating the risks of COVID vs. other risks to your child specifically. Moving forward, take your daughter to the playground, please. If *she* wears a mask, even if other kids don't, the risk to her is extremely low. Risks to children are low anyway, but especially outside.

Moving forward, pay attention to biases and how you think about mental health. Social isolation to the degree you describe isn't healthy, especially for children, and it's also not necessary given the very low risks COVID poses to children.

I've been following Emily Oster's framework for thinking about COVID risk, which takes into account risk in context. Too many people are considering only absolute risk and ignoring the risks they take daily for other things, and minimizing risks to mental health (kids are resilient!!!!!). I understand that COVID is novel and scary, but we've known for a long time that kids are less impacted *and* that being outdoors is reasonably safe, particularly when masked.

Stares in “majority of pediatric covid deaths have been Black and Brown kids”

Meaning...?

That the majority of the deaths have been among children of color is tragic and unacceptable. It also doesn't change the fact that severe illness and death in children from COVID are still *extremely* rare outcomes, including in children of color.

You don't get to play the race card and think it gives you moral high ground in this case. What about the staggering increases among children in suicidal ideation and attempts? Eating disorders? Depression? Do those outcomes not matter?

[Anonymous]

Hi OP. I didn't read any of the other responses because I'm bored of the typical DCUM posturing, but I just want to tell you that you didn't do anything wrong and your daughter will be fine. Kids are very resilient and you sound like a caring and attentive mom who will help her to ease into social things. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I didn't read any of the other responses because I'm bored of the typical DCUM posturing, but I just want to tell you that you didn't do anything wrong and your daughter will be fine. Kids are very resilient and you sound like a caring and attentive mom who will help her to ease into social things. Hugs!

This! Haven't read this whole thread but I'm guessing you've gotten some tough responses. Ignore them!! Kids are so adaptable. She'll be fine! You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Onward and upward.

[Anonymous]

You made the wrong decision isolating your daughter to the extent that you did. Short of a true lockdown, which no state even approached, the best we could have hoped for was flattening the curve enough to not overwhelm our healthcare system. By closing offices, schools, businesses, having the elderly and particularly at-risk isolate, and cancelling larger events and gatherings, we were going to accomplish that whether healthy children played at playgrounds and had some playdates here or there or not. And it absolutely will impact her -- in fact, you are seeing how it already has. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but that is what you need to hear -- not "kids are resilient, tra la la". Isolating a 6 yr old for an entire year is not NBD!

You need to work hard starting now to help your daughter and attend to her social, emotional, and mental health needs (which are of course as real as those of adults .) Start by letting her do any and everything outside -- playgrounds, playdates, everything. Have her wear a mask if it makes you feel better, but give zero mind to distancing and whether others are wearing masks. It's FINE, the likelihood of catching COVID masked and outdoors is minuscule, and anyways, the risk of serious disease to her is very small and presumably those actually at-risk in your circle are vaccinated. The decision whether to let your daughter go to playgrounds is NOT HARD. It is an obvious YES at this point!!! And then pick a few families to start socializing with indoors as well. Stop feeling guilty and stop hand ringing about moving forward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You made the wrong decision isolating your daughter to the extent that you did. Short of a true lockdown, which no state even approached, the best we could have hoped for was flattening the curve enough to not overwhelm our healthcare system. By closing offices, schools, businesses, having the elderly and particularly at-risk isolate, and cancelling larger events and gatherings, we were going to accomplish that whether healthy children played at playgrounds and had some playdates here or there or not. And it absolutely will impact her -- in fact, you are seeing how it already has. I'm not trying to be a jerk, but that is what you need to hear -- not "kids are resilient, tra la la". Isolating a 6 yr old for an entire year is not NBD!

You need to work hard starting now to help your daughter and attend to her social, emotional, and mental health needs (which are of course as real as those of adults .) Start by letting her do any and everything outside -- playgrounds, playdates, everything. Have her wear a mask if it makes you feel better, but give zero mind to distancing and whether others are wearing masks. It's FINE, the likelihood of catching COVID masked and outdoors is minuscule, and anyways, the risk of serious disease to her is very small and presumably those actually at-risk in your circle are vaccinated. The decision whether to let your daughter go to playgrounds is NOT HARD. It is an obvious YES at this point!!! And then pick a few families to start socializing with indoors as well. Stop feeling guilty and stop hand ringing about moving forward.

I agree with your second paragraph, but not your first. OP wasn't wrong to listen to public health warnings by taking precautions to avoid spread, even if the advice was taken to the extreme. That decision wasn't necessarily wrong, but the fallout of that decision is real and needs to be addressed starting now. OP, let go of the guilt and ease back into outdoor social activities with your family. Go from there. The longer you wait, the harder it will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

+1
100% liberal/pro science and vaccines here- We left DC for Florida and have never been happier. Ability to take kids to playgrounds and for everyone to socialize outdoors, responsibly.
Good quality childcare at reasonable price and weather alone have improved our quality of life 100x over.
It boggles my mind that the freaking libraries are still closed in DC.

I’m jealous. I am nearly certain mask mandates will be lifted by July 4th. If they are mandated next year, we will look to move to Denver, Austin, or maybe somewhere in FL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I didn't read any of the other responses because I'm bored of the typical DCUM posturing, but I just want to tell you that you didn't do anything wrong and your daughter will be fine. Kids are very resilient and you sound like a caring and attentive mom who will help her to ease into social things. Hugs!

This! Haven't read this whole thread but I'm guessing you've gotten some tough responses. Ignore them!! Kids are so adaptable. She'll be fine! You did the best you could with the information you had at the time. Onward and upward.

+1. I strongly encourage you to read the data next time a heath crisis like this one occurs. I was terrified and in favor of masks and school closures in early-mid 2020. As I started reading the data and ignoring the headlines I came to conclusions I never would have come to otherwise. We took calculated risks that allowed us more normalcy than most on this board. No Covid for us either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

+1
100% liberal/pro science and vaccines here- We left DC for Florida and have never been happier. Ability to take kids to playgrounds and for everyone to socialize outdoors, responsibly.
Good quality childcare at reasonable price and weather alone have improved our quality of life 100x over.
It boggles my mind that the freaking libraries are still closed in DC.

I’m jealous. I am nearly certain mask mandates will be lifted by July 4th. If they are mandated next year, we will look to move to Denver, Austin, or maybe somewhere in FL.

Yup. There are benefits to being a bluebird in a red(ish) state. At some point I realized- we don't have to suffer to keep up the facade and moral superiority. So many people in DC are more concerned about wagging their fingers at others, being the mask police, etc rather than reasonably reassessing where we are, and what are the risks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

+1
100% liberal/pro science and vaccines here- We left DC for Florida and have never been happier. Ability to take kids to playgrounds and for everyone to socialize outdoors, responsibly.
Good quality childcare at reasonable price and weather alone have improved our quality of life 100x over.
It boggles my mind that the freaking libraries are still closed in DC.

It boggles the mind that you are extolling the virtues of FL. Blech. I know plenty of people who live there and you couldn't pay me to move there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what if she gets covid? Honestly. I’m sure you never kept her isolated because you feared the flu or rsv or any other childhood illness. Look at the death rates for covid vs flu. Did you know flu has all the same wonky side effects that covid does.

Freaking out over a kid getting covid is ludicrous. Let her have a life again.

Some of us never stopped having lives, which we did with masks, outdoors and/or distancing, while the rest of you screamed and sobbed and tore your garments that your children were SUFFERING and HOSTAGES because you couldn't go about life as if the pandemic didn't exist

Agreed. So many drama-queens on this thread.

Don't second guess yourself, OP, just move forward from here. As another PP said, in the end this will be a blip in their lives.

And don't listen to all these smug people who claim they "never" worried about the pandemic and it was fine blah blah blah. They got lucky but now they are omniscient. give me a break!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

People who isolated back when information on the ground was sparse didn't make poor decisions. They did the best they could with the info at hand. And many people assessed the new info as it came out and adjusted as more was known. That is what intelligent people with common sense do.

Those of you who ignored the whole thing back when little was known weren't smarter or better parents. You just got lucky. Now shut up with parenting advice. You don't have the chops to dispense it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

+1
100% liberal/pro science and vaccines here- We left DC for Florida and have never been happier. Ability to take kids to playgrounds and for everyone to socialize outdoors, responsibly.
Good quality childcare at reasonable price and weather alone have improved our quality of life 100x over.
It boggles my mind that the freaking libraries are still closed in DC.

It boggles the mind that you are extolling the virtues of FL. Blech. I know plenty of people who live there and you couldn't pay me to move there.

And if you're going to paint the entire state and all its people with a broad brush....we don't want you here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t isolate my kids at all. In fact, we made the huge decision to move to a state that was open so my kids could go to school. None of us got it, and my kids are objectively in a much better place socially and mentally than my friends’ kids who stayed in Virginia (and still aren’t in school full-time).

(aaand now cue the panic posting about how isolating kids is the morally superior thing to do, in order to justify adults’ pretty poor decisions )

People who isolated back when information on the ground was sparse didn't make poor decisions. They did the best they could with the info at hand. And many people assessed the new info as it came out and adjusted as more was known. That is what intelligent people with common sense do.

Those of you who ignored the whole thing back when little was known weren't smarter or better parents. You just got lucky. Now shut up with parenting advice. You don't have the chops to dispense it.

Some of us absolutely isolated when information was sparse and later chose to read the data ourselves and take calculated risks. I don’t think OP wishes she had carried on as normal. I think she, and others, are realizing that they were fed a diet of panic and were not as well informed as they thought.