Out of country travel and divorce

[Anonymous]

I am not in the dmv so looking for general info, not state specific. Stbx and I have a divorce case filed. The petition says neither party can take kid out of state without the other parent’s written permission.
I need to travel abroad to take care of my parents for a few weeks.
Long story short stbx who has always been ok with travel now doesn’t want to give me his written permission. I am ok with leaving the child with him but it’s several weeks and I just didn’t want to overburden him. He hasn’t told me whether he is ok with it.
So what do I do? Child has a passport as I have never had the travel issue with stbx.
What if he refuses to take the child and refuses to give permission?
Do I need to request a court order?
Also I highly doubt he will request any legal action or inform authorities if we just go, but of course I don’t want to risk it and get in trouble.
I have return tickets and of course I am not planning any abduction. It’s all been relatively peaceful until now.

[Anonymous]

OP again: I would like to know if he can both refuse to take the kid and give permission. There are no custody orders in place but kid is with me during the week and with him on weekends for the most part. Never had any custody issues.

[Anonymous]

If he won’t agree either to let you take or kid or to keep your kid while you’re away, you will end up filing a motion with the court, which will then tell him he has to pick one or the other, with the default likely being that you can take your kid with you if he doesn’t make a decision. Depending on the court and judge, though, it might raise concerns if you’re going out of the country without your child for weeks during the proceedings.

[Anonymous]

What does your lawyer say?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If he won’t agree either to let you take or kid or to keep your kid while you’re away, you will end up filing a motion with the court, which will then tell him he has to pick one or the other, with the default likely being that you can take your kid with you if he doesn’t make a decision. Depending on the court and judge, though, it might raise concerns if you’re going out of the country without your child for weeks during the proceedings.

what concerns will it raise? I am ok with 50/50 custody. The case is very slow moving, too. so it's not like I am leaving in the middle of a heated dispute.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What does your lawyer say?

self represented

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your lawyer say?

self represented

That is your first problem.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like you are borrowing trouble. If you are self represented, just have a conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you are borrowing trouble. If you are self represented, just have a conversation.

We
Both are self represented. He was totally ok with us going so I bought the tickets. Then he wanted something from me and I said no and he is now stalling. I am trying to wait it out and I already told him I can leave the child with him if he prefers - no response.
I just thought maybe I can just solve it without having to work with him.
What can he do if we just go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your lawyer say?

self represented

That is your first problem.

We are not rich and it’s not a complicated divorce.

[Anonymous]

What was it he wanted? Why did you say no? Would you agree to it if it meant being able to leave the country with your kid?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What was it he wanted? Why did you say no? Would you agree to it if it meant being able to leave the country with your kid?

I might pretend do agree and later change my mind. It’s an important stipulation in the divorce agreement and I don’t want to give it up (waiving court jurisdiction over smth).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What was it he wanted? Why did you say no? Would you agree to it if it meant being able to leave the country with your kid?

I might pretend do agree and later change my mind. It’s an important stipulation in the divorce agreement and I don’t want to give it up (waiving court jurisdiction over smth).

I think you're making a major legal mistake here to not get an atty. You've already got a perfect example of your ex's unreliability.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What does your lawyer say?

self represented

That is your first problem.

+1 !!

[Anonymous]

Don’t violate a court order against international travel absent the other parent’s approval. OMG, just don’t do it. You would be in for a world of hurt if your soon to be Ex reports you. The judge could be livid, and you could be prosecuted for kidnapping. I am not kidding. Seen it many times in family law cases.

File a pro se motion with the court requesting permission to take your kid with you. Cite your parents health and the desire for the child to see them again while they’re still lucid and reasonably healthy. Explain that your spouse has never refused such travel before and you believe the current refusal is arbitrary and capricious.