Out of country travel and divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever you do, make sure this is all spelled out in the agreement at the end. If not, you have shot yourself in the foot by not getting a lawyer I had no lawyer, but my ex would never even think of questioning something like this. My boyfriend has to go to his divorce agreement on EVERYTHING; thank god it is all written out (ex. other parent must participate in renewing of passport, acting within one week to the request; out of state travel allowed without permission; out of the country requires permission but should be granted freely (this one isn't specific enough, so the court is involved EVERY SINGLE TIME), may take child out of school for no more than 1.5 days...).

Thank you, I have a nice draft agreement from a lawyer I consulted; stbx ended up wanting to draft his own but I can always compare against what I have and your wonderful suggestions. STBX is not a litigious person, once we more or less agree on things he will calm down. -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long from now until you travel? A lot of courts are still backed up from COVID closures and to some degree smaller dockets so the court is less crowded. Might want to check with the clerk to make sure you can get a hearing date before your trip. Hopefully you have a few months before your trip.

a little over a month
I will call the court, thanks!

YW. Personally, I think it is extremely unlikely you are going to be able to get an appearance before your travel date. Courts usually have a pretty full calendar and it's unlikely they will have extra space just to fit you in like that on such short notice absent a really compelling reason.

You need to talk to a lawyer about the significance of the petition that you referenced. If it's just a filing by him or his lawyer it probably isn't binding unless a judge signed an order in that regard. No one here can really help you out because the meaning of some of these terms can be state-specific. Seriously, just a consult with a lawyer will probably only cost a few hundred bucks and they will probably be able to recommend a solution.

So I contacted the court and they said it's usually 6 weeks out and they don't tend to grant emergency hearings over what they see as vacation travel. I think I will just let the stbx know that he would have to appear in a hearing if he doesn't either take the kid or grant permission to travel, and ask him what he wants to do.
There is no petition filed by ex. I am not sure what you mean? I am not that dumb and will involve a lawyer when needed, but so far it's pretty straightforward.
Thanks again! - OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long from now until you travel? A lot of courts are still backed up from COVID closures and to some degree smaller dockets so the court is less crowded. Might want to check with the clerk to make sure you can get a hearing date before your trip. Hopefully you have a few months before your trip.

a little over a month
I will call the court, thanks!

YW. Personally, I think it is extremely unlikely you are going to be able to get an appearance before your travel date. Courts usually have a pretty full calendar and it's unlikely they will have extra space just to fit you in like that on such short notice absent a really compelling reason.

I agree. I'd be surprised if you could get a hearing in the next six months on this issue. Definitely talk to the court, but don't be surprised if you get a run around answer. Clerks don't want to give advice or appear to be making promises.

Unless the court assures you that you will have your hearing in time to execute your travel plans, I would seriously consider not filing the motion and trying to come up with an amicable resolution to your issues. Antagonizing your ex by filing a motion seems like you could be shooting yourself in the foot both on this and on future issues that require cooperation between the two of you. You haven't said what your dispute is about, but I presume it is something big if you are willing to put this trip and your formerly amicable relationship in jeopardy.

It's 6 weeks, as I just learned today, but you are absolutely right about me not wanting to antagonize my ex. I will just tell him that if he neither takes the kid nor agrees to travel I will have no other option but involve the court. Yes it's smth big in the agreement, the one thing my consulting lawyer actually told me not to budge on! -OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How long from now until you travel? A lot of courts are still backed up from COVID closures and to some degree smaller dockets so the court is less crowded. Might want to check with the clerk to make sure you can get a hearing date before your trip. Hopefully you have a few months before your trip.

a little over a month
I will call the court, thanks!

YW. Personally, I think it is extremely unlikely you are going to be able to get an appearance before your travel date. Courts usually have a pretty full calendar and it's unlikely they will have extra space just to fit you in like that on such short notice absent a really compelling reason.

You need to talk to a lawyer about the significance of the petition that you referenced. If it's just a filing by him or his lawyer it probably isn't binding unless a judge signed an order in that regard. No one here can really help you out because the meaning of some of these terms can be state-specific. Seriously, just a consult with a lawyer will probably only cost a few hundred bucks and they will probably be able to recommend a solution.

So I contacted the court and they said it's usually 6 weeks out and they don't tend to grant emergency hearings over what they see as vacation travel. I think I will just let the stbx know that he would have to appear in a hearing if he doesn't either take the kid or grant permission to travel, and ask him what he wants to do.
There is no petition filed by ex. I am not sure what you mean? I am not that dumb and will involve a lawyer when needed, but so far it's pretty straightforward.
Thanks again! - OP

PP here and you mentioned a petition in your OP that restricts travel. I don't know what that is either, I'm saying you should ask a lawyer whether it is binding or not.

[Anonymous]

OP, Tell him you plan to go to XXX for three weeks to help take care of your parents. Larlo can either go with you or stay with him. If he stays with him you'd like an extra week to make up for the absence. His choice. With covid, its not in the kids best interest to go on a plane.

[Anonymous]

Why would you agree to a travel ban. That was dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you agree to a travel ban. That was dumb.

That’s what I was thinking. I guess I could see needing permission for international travel but out of state travel?

[Anonymous]

Folks it is standard procedure for a pending dissolution to include a prohibition on out of state (or out of country) travel without the other parent’s written permission. This is UCCJEA/PKPA standard language that is adopted by 49 states in the USA (Massachusetts is the sole exception).

PKPA is the Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act, FYI. Also FYI, the very vast majority of children who go ‘missing’ every year are abducted by parents or other family members pursuant to custody disputes.

[Anonymous]

She wants to travel abroad. That is the problem.

[Anonymous]

if you are both self represented and there is no custody order in place, you have parental rights and can go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you are both self represented and there is no custody order in place, you have parental rights and can go.

I think OP should check with a lawyer before just taking the kid out of the country. How does she know her ex won't claim OP was trying to take the kid to LIVE in the other country to purposely keep the kid away from the ex?

I've also heard of situations where some countries won't allow a parent to bring a kid in unless there is specific permission from the other parent. I've never encountered it myself, but the only countries I've brought my kids to, without my husband with me, are in the UK. Other countries might be different.

[Anonymous]

Get it in writing from him that he refuses to take the child for the time you will be traveling. CYA.

[Anonymous]

Only an idiot would allow a soon to be ex to take their child to their home country during a divorce dispute.

For the future, this is something that should explicitly covered by the custody agreement

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Only an idiot would allow a soon to be ex to take their child to their home country during a divorce dispute.

For the future, this is something that should explicitly covered by the custody agreement

So why can't he take the child then? OP said she'd be fine with it.