Why does everyone say their third was an accident?

[Anonymous]

I find this the craziest phenomenon. Like no one is judging you for having three kids! Especially with the mom is in her 40s when the third is born- I feel like 75% or more of the time they claim it was an accident. Did you suddenly forget to understand birth control? Why do you think people are charging you? I’ve had three of these conversations within the last two weeks, no lie.

[Anonymous]

Judging not charging! LOL.

[Anonymous]

Ha! My 3rd was absolutely wanted, but the timing was a bit of an accident. About a year earlier than planned. But, I agree. I don’t care how many children people have... don’t be ashamed of your family!

[Anonymous]

Because when you’re in your early 40’s and your always-reliable cycle starts being way shorter or way longer because of perimenopause, accidents happen.

And before you ask, we’re not on hormonal birth control because of the increased risk of cancer.

[Anonymous]

People keep asking me this, I think because I already had B and G. But no, we wanted 3...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because when you’re in your early 40’s and your always-reliable cycle starts being way shorter or way longer because of perimenopause, accidents happen.

And before you ask, we’re not on hormonal birth control because of the increased risk of cancer.

You know there’s non-hormonal bc right?

I’ve noticed this too. It’s like these successful bright women have suddenly forgotten everything they learned in sex Ed. It’s fine to want a third! And if not prevent it! I’d be very interested to hear from someone who admits that they lie about it being an accident and why they do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Especially with the mom is in her 40s when the third is born- I feel like 75% or more of the time they claim it was an accident.

I thought it was a pretty well documented phenomenon that couples tend to get more careless with birth control as the woman ages because they think pregnancy is increasingly unlikely. Is that not a thing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because when you’re in your early 40’s and your always-reliable cycle starts being way shorter or way longer because of perimenopause, accidents happen.

And before you ask, we’re not on hormonal birth control because of the increased risk of cancer.

You know there’s non-hormonal bc right?

I’ve noticed this too. It’s like these successful bright women have suddenly forgotten everything they learned in sex Ed. It’s fine to want a third! And if not prevent it! I’d be very interested to hear from someone who admits that they lie about it being an accident and why they do so.

Yep, and after thoroughly researching IUDs and all the side effects, it was a hard pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because when you’re in your early 40’s and your always-reliable cycle starts being way shorter or way longer because of perimenopause, accidents happen.

And before you ask, we’re not on hormonal birth control because of the increased risk of cancer.

You know there’s non-hormonal bc right?

I’ve noticed this too. It’s like these successful bright women have suddenly forgotten everything they learned in sex Ed. It’s fine to want a third! And if not prevent it! I’d be very interested to hear from someone who admits that they lie about it being an accident and why they do so.

Yep, and after thoroughly researching IUDs and all the side effects, it was a hard pass.

What are the side effects of carrying a baby to term into your 40s?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because when you’re in your early 40’s and your always-reliable cycle starts being way shorter or way longer because of perimenopause, accidents happen.

And before you ask, we’re not on hormonal birth control because of the increased risk of cancer.

You know there’s non-hormonal bc right?

I’ve noticed this too. It’s like these successful bright women have suddenly forgotten everything they learned in sex Ed. It’s fine to want a third! And if not prevent it! I’d be very interested to hear from someone who admits that they lie about it being an accident and why they do so.

Yep, and after thoroughly researching IUDs and all the side effects, it was a hard pass.

This is a prime example. You wanted a third child. Good for you! No need to be ashamed of that. Paragard, vasectomy, etc... all harmless.

[Anonymous]

I am pregnant with 3 and have a boy and a girl. I have had quite a few people ask me if it is an oops baby. Can’t understand why anyone would want more if they already have both sexes. So offensive! No, the baby was wanted very badly and we did infertility treatments.

I feel bad for the kids whose parents say that they were accidents. Every kid wants to think they were wanted even before birth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am pregnant with 3 and have a boy and a girl. I have had quite a few people ask me if it is an oops baby. Can’t understand why anyone would want more if they already have both sexes. So offensive! No, the baby was wanted very badly and we did infertility treatments.

I feel bad for the kids whose parents say that they were accidents. Every kid wants to think they were wanted even before birth.

Well my first was an accident and i see no point in pretending otherwise. Since we had a shotgun wedding i think DC would have done the math at some point so we never kept it a secret. I was an accident too and it never hurt my feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am pregnant with 3 and have a boy and a girl. I have had quite a few people ask me if it is an oops baby. Can’t understand why anyone would want more if they already have both sexes. So offensive! No, the baby was wanted very badly and we did infertility treatments.

I feel bad for the kids whose parents say that they were accidents. Every kid wants to think they were wanted even before birth.

Ehh. I am an Irish twin, so I am certain that I was an oops baby. My parents still think that I am the cat’s meow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because when you’re in your early 40’s and your always-reliable cycle starts being way shorter or way longer because of perimenopause, accidents happen.

And before you ask, we’re not on hormonal birth control because of the increased risk of cancer.

You know there’s non-hormonal bc right?

I’ve noticed this too. It’s like these successful bright women have suddenly forgotten everything they learned in sex Ed. It’s fine to want a third! And if not prevent it! I’d be very interested to hear from someone who admits that they lie about it being an accident and why they do so.

Yep, and after thoroughly researching IUDs and all the side effects, it was a hard pass.

This is a prime example. You wanted a third child. Good for you! No need to be ashamed of that. Paragard, vasectomy, etc... all harmless.

No, I don’t have or want a third child. Just answering your question 👍

[Anonymous]

I think it’s weird you think people who say this are lying. I know plenty of people who have three kids and have never said the last one was an “ooos.” I know two couples very closely who did have an accidental third, and the oops part is often due to being more scattered and distracted by kids 1 and 2 than they were earlier in their lives. One thinks she probably accidentally skipped a pill or two in her pack when she was exhausted by a toddler’s sleep struggles, and hadn’t recognized it. One was on antibiotics for strep throat caused by one of the older kids. She thought she waited long enough for the antibiotics to clear her system but oops!

They made dumb mistakes, sure, but weird to accuse them of lying or forgetting sex ed. The husbands got vasectomies shortly after.