Is it selfish for a divorced mom to have more children with a new spouse?

[Anonymous]

Asking for myself.

[Anonymous]

In what way? How many kids do you have?

I had one and wanted more but immediately knew our relationship was doomed. Took me 7 years to find the right person and had another child. My older child begged for a sibling, cried with the ultrasound photo and loves the baby. We have the means for both of them, love both of them and will treat them equally as siblings. A lot of this is the fact that my husband is 100% on board with treating my first child with the respect and love he would his own child. Any hesitation by a step parent should be taken seriously. Not everyone can treat children that are not their own equally.

[Anonymous]

I only have one. I’ve always wanted two, but my marriage didn’t work out and derailed that dream. I still want a second one, but have been told by many that it would be selfish of me to bring another child into this world and I need to put dating on hold until my child is in college.

[Anonymous]

Posters here will tell you you're selfish for even dating. While that's ridiculous, a half-sibling can be tough. How is your kid's relationship with their dad? If it's distant/strained, that would give me pause, because your kid is leaning on your even more than normal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I only have one. I’ve always wanted two, but my marriage didn’t work out and derailed that dream. I still want a second one, but have been told by many that it would be selfish of me to bring another child into this world and I need to put dating on hold until my child is in college.

Anyone that tells you that is not your friend.

If it's family tell them straight up - my child is my priority. If I hear another word from you on this subject we're done talking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posters here will tell you you're selfish for even dating. While that's ridiculous, a half-sibling can be tough. How is your kid's relationship with their dad? If it's distant/strained, that would give me pause, because your kid is leaning on your even more than normal.

My kid has a terrible, abusive Father - hence why I left! Step Dad is pretty much the most amazing guy on the planet. Absolutely does not overstep bounds with Dad, but is exactly what makes our family great.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Posters here will tell you you're selfish for even dating. While that's ridiculous, a half-sibling can be tough. How is your kid's relationship with their dad? If it's distant/strained, that would give me pause, because your kid is leaning on your even more than normal.

She has a great relationship with her dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I only have one. I’ve always wanted two, but my marriage didn’t work out and derailed that dream. I still want a second one, but have been told by many that it would be selfish of me to bring another child into this world and I need to put dating on hold until my child is in college.

Anyone that tells you that is not your friend.

If it's family tell them straight up - my child is my priority. If I hear another word from you on this subject we're done talking.

I’ve heard it from friends and family.

[Anonymous]

Totally depends on how honest you are about your particular child and how the blended family will work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally depends on how honest you are about your particular child and how the blended family will work out.

If both kids are equal, it’s not selfish. If the older child has to ask you why their younger sibling goes to private school and they don’t, it is

[Anonymous]

It depends. If you leave your wife and three kids in your late 30's for a much younger woman you work with, then it's selfish.

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[Anonymous]

No of course not. It’s selfish if he prioritizes family #2 over family #1. Unfortunately, that seems to be par for the course.

[Anonymous]

Having children is always selfish.

[Anonymous]

I’m a half sibling to two. Much older than them, almost like a second mom. I love them so much!! The fact of a baby sibling is not a problem, the problem is what parents do.