DCUM, what the heck do I do

[Anonymous]

MIL just came to stay for two weeks. She's vaccinated; DH and I are not yet (we go next week for our first shots). Neither are our kids.

DH spoke to his mom several times before the visit about comfort levels, etc. She agreed to isolate for a week before visiting because we still know there's a chance she could transmit to us; if we were alread vaxxed I'd feel less strongly. She is staying in our home, unmasked, etc. If she hadn't agreed to this we would have put off the visit but she assured DH several times she was totally fine with this arrangement.

She just arrived and opened with how exhausted she is after spending the past two nights at a hotel with her friends from college, including eating inside and sharing a hotel room with her college pal for some kind of reunion!?!?!

DH said to his mother, "I thought you were laying low in the week before visiting" and she said, "Oh, well, I didn't go anywhere else, just the spa at the hotel!" and sincerely believes it...I am just...flabbergasted.

Obviously we're not going to turn her away but I am truly upset...not sure what to do...just ran up to my bedroom to post here so I didn't bite MIL's head off.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely idiotic to ask a vaccinated person to self-isolate. She should not have lied but I do understand why she blew off those requests...

[Anonymous]

MIL is awful in my book, but not much to be done now. Open windows for more ventilation maybe.

[Anonymous]

It’s done already. The risk of contamination is low. Carry on with the visit.

But yes, I understand how annoyed you are. This is why I would never agree to host certain relatives who simply don’t get it. I trust my parents, but that’s it. The rest of the relatives are... unreliable when it comes to Covid-19.

[Anonymous]

You should relax and maybe take a weed gummy. Your vaccinated MIL is zero risk to you.

[Anonymous]

Stop worrying about it.

[Anonymous]

Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

I think OP is being slightly anxious, but the MIL agreed to certain parameters in order to make a visit happen and didn’t hold up her end of the bargain. I would be pissed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

Asking someone to repeat after you does not make a lie true.

The risk is very low, probably less than 10% of what it would be if she wasn't vaccinated. But it's 100% up to OP to decide what risks she's comfortable taking, and her MIL should have respected her request, or turned down the invite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

I think OP is being slightly anxious, but the MIL agreed to certain parameters in order to make a visit happen and didn’t hold up her end of the bargain. I would be pissed.

This. MIL is way out of line and it is fair to cut the visit short to make the point. And definitely refuse to do activities involving others.

[Anonymous]

I find it sad that you ran to post here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I find it sad that you ran to post here.

Oh dear.

[Anonymous]

Yes I’d be mad that she lied about laying low. I’ve noticed in Covid you cannot trust others to keep you safe, you have to take a hard line because everyone seems to have a different idea of what is ok or not.

[Anonymous]

I’d keep my distance for several days - no touching or close sitting. I do think she’s very little risk to you, but her attitude needs straightening out. She agreed to something and then openly flaunted that she didn’t do it. Rude.

But now you know you can’t trust her and that will likely affect decision-making going forward

[Anonymous]

She shouldn’t have lied (though it sounds like for whatever reason she believes she was lying low) but it was a pretty ridiculous request in the first place. The visit was a bad idea since you have such different ideas of risk.