DCUM, what the heck do I do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’d keep my distance for several days - no touching or close sitting. I do think she’s very little risk to you, but her attitude needs straightening out. She agreed to something and then openly flaunted that she didn’t do it. Rude.

But now you know you can’t trust her and that will likely affect decision-making going forward

If you believe there’s such little risk, what would be the point of keeping your distance, just to “punish” her for being rude, lol?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely idiotic to ask a vaccinated person to self-isolate. She should not have lied but I do understand why she blew off those requests...

This. I wouldn’t have lied to you. I would have just openly refused.

[Anonymous]

Honestly OP you just have to let it go. The likelihood that she will infect you is literally .008%. It will be ok.

Yes, she should not have done that, but she's there now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely idiotic to ask a vaccinated person to self-isolate. She should not have lied but I do understand why she blew off those requests...

This. I wouldn’t have lied to you. I would have just openly refused.

Good! At least that’s respectful of OP’s risk tolerance. What MIL did is incredibly obnoxious.

[Anonymous]

Did she drive or fly?

I would cut the visit short. This is so rude.

[Anonymous]

Asking a vaccinated person to quarantine or isolate is out of line. You’re in the wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

I think OP is being slightly anxious, but the MIL agreed to certain parameters in order to make a visit happen and didn’t hold up her end of the bargain. I would be pissed.

This. MIL is way out of line and it is fair to cut the visit short to make the point. And definitely refuse to do activities involving others.

My inlaws behaved like this but confessed before they came and we told them not to come. Then they lied to BIL before visiting him and he discovered the truth with “find my friends” on iPhone (he could tell they were eating indoors) and he made them stay at a hotel. I would not think you were wrong for sending her home. When our parents start blatantly violating boundaries like this, they become hard to trust with the kids.

[Anonymous]

I think asking a vaccinated person to isolate is a ridiculous request and you are not going to get COVID from her. This is coming from someone directly exposed to symptomatic people with COVID staying in the same house as me.

That being said she also shouldn’t have lied. I would give her some grace here though because I’m assuming you haven’t seen her in over a year and she probably really wants to see her son and grandkids (if you have kids).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

I think OP is being slightly anxious, but the MIL agreed to certain parameters in order to make a visit happen and didn’t hold up her end of the bargain. I would be pissed.

Agree. The issue is broken trust.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think there is anything you can do at this point. I would be annoyed but let it go. There is a 99% or higher chance that you guys will be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think asking a vaccinated person to isolate is a ridiculous request and you are not going to get COVID from her. This is coming from someone directly exposed to symptomatic people with COVID staying in the same house as me.

That being said she also shouldn’t have lied. I would give her some grace here though because I’m assuming you haven’t seen her in over a year and she probably really wants to see her son and grandkids (if you have kids).

But she didn't want it badly enough to miss out on the spa.

[Anonymous]

Can she get a PCR test? Results come back quickly and she can quarantine in your house assuming it’s big enough until the results come back. That’s what travelers to the region are supposed to do anyway so you can blame it on the mayor or your governor.

[Anonymous]

Kick her out! Out onto the street!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can she get a PCR test? Results come back quickly and she can quarantine in your house assuming it’s big enough until the results come back. That’s what travelers to the region are supposed to do anyway so you can blame it on the mayor or your governor.

Have her get tested. My results were back in two hours— it will help calm your anxiety.

Remember in the future she doesn’t respect you or your decisions about your health and safety and don’t put yourself in a position where her lying can make you feel unsafe or anxious. Covid is giving a lot of people the opportunity to show what they’re really like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can she get a PCR test? Results come back quickly and she can quarantine in your house assuming it’s big enough until the results come back. That’s what travelers to the region are supposed to do anyway so you can blame it on the mayor or your governor.

Have her get tested. My results were back in two hours— it will help calm your anxiety.

Remember in the future she doesn’t respect you or your decisions about your health and safety and don’t put yourself in a position where her lying can make you feel unsafe or anxious. Covid is giving a lot of people the opportunity to show what they’re really like.

Even if she was infected at the spa it's likely too early to test anyway. This is all moot though because the odds that is is infected are very small indeed.

If you want to be mad at the MIL for not holding up her end of the bargain, then that's valid, but it was not really a reasonable request in the first place.