DCUM, what the heck do I do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kick her out! Out onto the street!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely idiotic to ask a vaccinated person to self-isolate. She should not have lied but I do understand why she blew off those requests...

This. I wouldn’t have lied to you. I would have just openly refused.

OK. No visit then. Works for me!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can she get a PCR test? Results come back quickly and she can quarantine in your house assuming it’s big enough until the results come back. That’s what travelers to the region are supposed to do anyway so you can blame it on the mayor or your governor.

Have her get tested. My results were back in two hours— it will help calm your anxiety.

Remember in the future she doesn’t respect you or your decisions about your health and safety and don’t put yourself in a position where her lying can make you feel unsafe or anxious. Covid is giving a lot of people the opportunity to show what they’re really like.

Even if she was infected at the spa it's likely too early to test anyway. This is all moot though because the odds that is is infected are very small indeed.

If you want to be mad at the MIL for not holding up her end of the bargain, then that's valid, but it was not really a reasonable request in the first place.

The time to discuss the reasonableness of the request is before agreeing to it, not after lying about it. There are families who can’t afford a .008% risk— OP doesn’t mention if she’s one of them, but her MIL obviously doesn’t have any respect for her decisions about her family’s health— that won’t go away after COVID.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

You can be vaccinated and still get Covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Absolutely idiotic to ask a vaccinated person to self-isolate. She should not have lied but I do understand why she blew off those requests...

She could still infect them! She is nuts!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

You can be vaccinated and still get Covid.

And you can walk outside your front door and have the engine from a passing jet land on your head. But that's also not something I would get into it with my MIL about.

[Anonymous]

I would just go and quarantine yourself and ask her to be tested after 5 days if she wants you to come back. It’s her right to behave as she wants, and it’s your right as an yet-to-be vaxxed person to do the same. Risks may be low but she’s older with less immune response, you have no idea with that behavior if she actually laid low during the two weeks period, and there are a number of breakthrough infections.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

You can be vaccinated and still get Covid.

And you can walk outside your front door and have the engine from a passing jet land on your head. But that's also not something I would get into it with my MIL about.

Nah. Big difference between .0000001 percent of something happening and 10%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think there is anything you can do at this point. I would be annoyed but let it go. There is a 99% or higher chance that you guys will be fine.

Some people do not understand numbers. 1% of 300 million is 3 million. Ok, say it’s .3%. If OP is one of the 1 million people that happen to get infected from a scenario like this and happens to develop long haul COVID, are you going to tell her, well at least you were polite to your mother in law. LOL sorry but that’s a no, unless MIL intends to come live with her and take care of all the life stuff that will need tending to while OP waits for doctors to find a treatment.

The only person who can answer whether this is an acceptable risk for her is OP. The rest of you can give advice all you want but she will be personally responsible for whatever health effects this could have.

[Anonymous]

Was the agreement that she “lay low” or “isolate”? Those are two different things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

DP. It is still very early days to make huge, blanket statements like that one. There is research going on right now to try to determine how much virus people who have been vaccinated might still carry around asymptomatically and what risk they might pose to others who are unvaccinated. Right now, scientists think it's going to be possible for a vaccinated person to pick up the virus and not get seriously ill, or even show no symptoms at all, and still be able to transmit the virus to others.

Do you just not read the news at all, or do you read it but only cherry-pick what fits your world view, PP?

To OP: Your DH needs to handle this but yes, MIL was vastly out of line; however, I wonder if, like this PP above, she only hears what she wants to hear and is genuinely convinced that vaccination equals perfect immunity and means she simply cannot get anyone ELSE sick either. If she believes that -- it is still NOT a pass. Your DH should give her articles about the concerns I mention above (vaccinated people still being possibly able to spread the virus) as he's asking her to depart. Reboot and see her again after you are all vaccinated but be clear that that time, too, she needs to actually isolate, not play around at a spa. Does she not get that seeing DH, you and the grandkids is a privilege?

The lack of any knowledge about what still is NOT known re: the virus and its spread is pretty appalling on these boards and among people like your MIL. I'm sorry, OP. Of course we all need to be vaccinated as soon as possible! We also need to be aware that a lot of research is still going on right now and vaccination is not a perfect guarantee. You were right to ask her to isolate before coming.

Of course, this being DCUM, folks are here telling you you're "anxious" blah blah. Eh. That's how the ill-informed, self-centered wishful thinkers on these threads make themselves feel superior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Repeat after me: She's vaccinated. She does not pose a risk.

You can be vaccinated and still get Covid.

And you can walk outside your front door and have the engine from a passing jet land on your head. But that's also not something I would get into it with my MIL about.

DP. I think you need to learn what "false equivalency" means re: the bold, PP.

I bet you also go around saying "You could be hit by a bus/struck by lightning/get cancer and die" etc. when anyone brings up Covid. And you think those are situations you can equate to catching a virus. "Oh, well, it's random bad luck! Just go live your life!" It's thinking like yours that ends up keeping the pandemic going and going.

[Anonymous]

Wow, your MIL is awful. So is mine. So are like 90% of my friends MILs. Is it the boomer generation? Are they all just inherently selfish narcissists?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, your MIL is awful. So is mine. So are like 90% of my friends MILs. Is it the boomer generation? Are they all just inherently selfish narcissists?

Not all, but a significant portion.

The boomers in my neighborhood who play their geezer anthems as loud as they can. I know I can't trust any of my older relatives, so don't bother having them over right now.

[Anonymous]

I think you are all safe OP and it will be fine.

But I would be furious if a commitment was made and so fully disregarded.

Don't agree to do something that's obviously important to me if you're just going to totally ignore it.

I'd be furious.