Awkward situation with neighbor

[Anonymous]

I let my 6 year old play with a neighbor in their fenced in backyard. We live on the same side of street a couple houses up. I had a toddler napping at home so I told the mom that my DD could come play but I would need to stay at home. She said that was fine and said she would set the kids up with chalk. An hour later, my toddler wakes up and so we walk down to their house. I get there to discover that my DD and her 6 year old buddy are being supervised by a 14 year old sister while mom ran to the store. I was stunned. Don’t you think she would have called me to let me know she was leaving the house? We would not leave our kids with a 14 year old sitter.

I took my daughter home and texted the neighbor. She called me right away and apologized but I think she was more embarrassed that I find out. I suspect she was just running a quick errand and thought I wouldn’t ever know. Now things are just awkward between us and I feel like it’s on me to smooth it over for the sake of peace in the neighborhood. We see each other all the time, especially now that the weather is nicer. Would you let it go? Nothing left to be said right?

[Anonymous]

I think she should have let you know but at 14, if the 14 year old is actually supervising I don't see any issue with it. If the child was 10-12 I'd have an issue. I don't leave my kids with sitters either and she should have contacted you but a 14 year old and 6 year olds are ok.

[Anonymous]

Hmmm. She definitely should have cleared it with you. But 14 is definitely old enough to watch 2 6 year olds while you go on a quick errand.

[Anonymous]

I would not say anything. Just be friendly next time you see her.
I think it’s weird you would not leave for 6 year old for a short time with a 14 year old baby sitter, but I guess it’s also a little odd she didn’t let you know, if you don’t have a close relationship.
My 14 year old spent most of last summer babysitting kids that age!

[Anonymous]

I definitely think you’re overreacting.

[Anonymous]

14 is fine. Just say to her, "Hey sorry if I freaked out when I saw your DD14 watching the girls - it just really threw me. Of course DD14 was great with them and my DD had fun with her. Do you mind just letting me know in the future if you need to run out for a few minutes?"

[Anonymous]

My 14-year old son in very capable to supervising several 6-year olds, and they are in the house or in the backyard, not in public park. 14 is old.
You are not clear how your daughter got to their house.

[Anonymous]

I'd smooth it over. You could offer another playdate, or say

"(My kid) would love to come over to play with (your kid) again soon!"

So you are implying that all is smoothed over. (You don't have to actually go through with the playdate, just suggest it to signal that all is well)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hmmm. She definitely should have cleared it with you. But 14 is definitely old enough to watch 2 6 year olds while you go on a quick errand.

Especially when the mom of one of them is inside with napping toddler!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 14-year old son in very capable to supervising several 6-year olds, and they are in the house or in the backyard, not in public park. 14 is old.
You are not clear how your daughter got to their house.

The mom walked over and picked her up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think you’re overreacting.

+1

[Anonymous]

Land that helicopter, OP! This is perfectly fine.

[Anonymous]

In the 90s I was babysitting kids in my neighborhood by 12. You’re over reacting, OP.

[Anonymous]

We let our DD babysit neighbors kids when she turned 13. She earned spending money and got a dose of responsibility. You’re over the top OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely think you’re overreacting.

+1. If I were your neighbor I would peg you as neurotic and avoid arranging additional play dates.