Why on earth would parents host a drinking party for their teens

[Anonymous]

Do I live on Mars?!
I know so many parents who are ok with this or at least turn a blind eye.
What gives?!? My kids think I’m a prude and hopeless.

[Anonymous]

they want to be their kid's friend?
they want to be that "cool" parent?
they are living vicariously through their kids' lives?
they also want to party with young people?

idk.. my kid thinks I'm a dud because I hate board games. He's almost 16.

[Anonymous]

No idea. We’re French and let our children taste alcohol in our home, or relatives’ homes, but allowing teens to party with alcohol doesn’t convey the right message of moderation and self-control. If we have a party and parents are also present give their consent for their child to taste, that’s fine. But if there are many teens and few parents, no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:they want to be their kid's friend?
they want to be that "cool" parent?
they are living vicariously through their kids' lives?
they also want to party with young people?

idk.. my kid thinks I'm a dud because I hate board games. He's almost 16.

100% this except for maybe the last point. They want to be the cool parent.

I know this stuff happens. I would never ever host one of these. I’m the parent not my kid’s friend.

Let alone the legal liability. Just NO.

[Anonymous]

The real reason is because they can't say no to their kids and they want to be their friend.

The ostensible reason is because "they're going to drink anyway, and this way I can supervise."

[Anonymous]

These "parents" will find the cops knocking at their door.

[Anonymous]

I am totally comfortable with my underage kids drinking alcohol. When I was that age, high school students were legal. I would rather they drink under my roof and not driving than to learn tolerance when they are away at college - so sort of like the French poster above.

I do not host for their friends.

[Anonymous]

This was so common when I was growing up. Some of the kids whose parents let them do this turned out ok, although I don’t know anything about their alcohol consumption. The others, I don’t know.

[Anonymous]

Too many people who didn't want to be parents have become parents. I feel bad for them, I feel worse for their kids.

[Anonymous]

I agree that this is the dumbest thing a parent can do. I knew a family growing up who did this and got caught. The father was a successful doctor. He got caught hosting a large teen party with drinking - he lost everything. Everything.

It's one thing to let your own kid have a drink or two, but to host someone else's kids and let them drink - hell no.

[Anonymous]

This was common among my circle of friends as a teen. I’m in my mid 40. Our parents were naive and lucky. All of turned out fine and to be responsible adults. No one ever had a raging party, except one kid with parents never around, but most parents were fine with a few friends over and drinking. We just couldn’t drive. They would also let us go camping and bring alcohol. Again, all of us were lucky. DH had a similar experience in another area of the country. My parents considered themselves former free spirit hippie types.

We would never do this for our own children or let them participate underage if we knew about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
No idea. We’re French and let our children taste alcohol in our home, or relatives’ homes, but allowing teens to party with alcohol doesn’t convey the right message of moderation and self-control. If we have a party and parents are also present give their consent for their child to taste, that’s fine. But if there are many teens and few parents, no.

I don’t understand this “we’re French” business. France has a very large percentage of heavy drinkers and are only marginally behind Americans in alcoholism rates. There is nothing special or inherently healthy about your relationship to alcohol and your specific nationality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No idea. We’re French and let our children taste alcohol in our home, or relatives’ homes, but allowing teens to party with alcohol doesn’t convey the right message of moderation and self-control. If we have a party and parents are also present give their consent for their child to taste, that’s fine. But if there are many teens and few parents, no.

I don’t understand this “we’re French” business. France has a very large percentage of heavy drinkers and are only marginally behind Americans in alcoholism rates. There is nothing special or inherently healthy about your relationship to alcohol and your specific nationality.

We are also French and hell no would we allow this. Stop stamping “I’m French” on something as an excuse. D’ac?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am totally comfortable with my underage kids drinking alcohol. When I was that age, high school students were legal. I would rather they drink under my roof and not driving than to learn tolerance when they are away at college - so sort of like the French poster above.

I do not host for their friends.

That's the key difference. It's one thing to serve your own kids alcohol under your own roof (in fact, it's legal in Virginia). Serving their friends (much less hosting a party) without their parents present and consenting is not appropriate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree that this is the dumbest thing a parent can do. I knew a family growing up who did this and got caught. The father was a successful doctor. He got caught hosting a large teen party with drinking - he lost everything. Everything.

It's one thing to let your own kid have a drink or two, but to host someone else's kids and let them drink - hell no.

Everything? Did he lose his toothbrush? Lawnmower? Old ratty underwear?

Wow. What a story. A DR. lost everything for a beer party. We believe you.