Why on earth would parents host a drinking party for their teens

[Anonymous]

I grew up with parents who drank wine and they let me occasionally drink a glass at home as a teen. I personally think this was a terrible idea. And it didn't prevent me from experimenting with drugs outside that context. Luckily, my excursion into that was very brief, and I never went back to it.

I will absolutely NOT let my teen drink, but she has already learned the bad consequences of drug use from watching her Dad succumb to his personal issues. See, because my experimentation as a teen was brief and over, I had no problem believing my now ex when he said he had quit his habit. It didn't resurface till years into the marriage.

His gateway drug wasn't alcohol either.

Normalizing illegal drinking just isn't a great idea. Its better to explain why these laws exist, and talk very honestly about drinking and about how anyone can slip into alcoholism or any other addiction, given the right circumstances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They know kids are drinking and they think it’s safer in their basement than in a field or driving around.

This. It's not good to host large drinking parties and then let the kids drive home, but I am forever grateful to my friends parents who let us drink at their house when we had sleepovers. It's the only time I was able to experiment with alcohol before college.

There were some parents in my high school who would let everybody sleep over after these drinking parties and that’s when all the drunk sex happened too.

Hell if I would let my kids do this.

I have a clear memory of this happening when I was in high school. A girl had sex with a guy in some room somewhere in the house and the news spread around the party and everyone went to go open the door and look at them in the bed in the room. The boy was sort of in the bed looking triumphant and the girl was just sort of there. Looking back...what the hell was going through her head. Just awful. I can see the whole thing in my mind and I remember the girl's name to this day. It followed her the rest of high school.

Why anyone would allow a daughter in particular in this situation is beyond me.

[Anonymous]

We have neighbors who have done this and the dad's reasoning was "They are going to drink anyway. By letting them do it in our home we are able to monitor it and keep them safe." Safe? Seriously? I couldn't hold my tongue. Idiot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am totally comfortable with my underage kids drinking alcohol. When I was that age, high school students were legal. I would rather they drink under my roof and not driving than to learn tolerance when they are away at college - so sort of like the French poster above.

I do not host for their friends.

This is misleading and convenient for you.

You mean, when I was that age, some kids could legally drink part way through senior year in high school and some could not.

Kids are not over 18 until the end of high school, at best.

Some turn 18 after graduating. Others turn 18 during junior year. It depends on many factors, but mostly which state the child was in from 4-7 when they started school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am totally comfortable with my underage kids drinking alcohol. When I was that age, high school students were legal. I would rather they drink under my roof and not driving than to learn tolerance when they are away at college - so sort of like the French poster above.

I do not host for their friends.

This is misleading and convenient for you.

You mean, when I was that age, some kids could legally drink part way through senior year in high school and some could not.

Kids are not over 18 until the end of high school, at best.

It’s also convenient to not remember that the reason that there was a law passed in 84 (you were a senior in 84 or before?) to raise the drinking age to 21 was to decrease the number of drunk driving crashes.

[Anonymous]

When I was in high school there was a party, thrown by parents, for seniors when I was a freshman. Two girls went, drank and then after they left the driver got into a head on collision with another car that had two of their classmates in it (but hadn't been at the party). Those classmates were killed. The two girls who had been at the party walked away with no injuries.

The driver was arrested for drunk driving and vehicular manslaughter. The parents who held the party were also arrested (but I can't remember the exact charge) for supplying the alcohol and permitting the girls to drink alcohol. The parents went bankrupt in legal fees.

There were no winners here and two girls were dead. This was in Richmond in 1990. I will never forget it.

Don't do this. The liability, criminally and civil, are infinite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am totally comfortable with my underage kids drinking alcohol. When I was that age, high school students were legal. I would rather they drink under my roof and not driving than to learn tolerance when they are away at college - so sort of like the French poster above.

I do not host for their friends.

This is misleading and convenient for you.

You mean, when I was that age, some kids could legally drink part way through senior year in high school and some could not.

Kids are not over 18 until the end of high school, at best.

Are you crazy? Kids are held back so much. My kids are in middle school and are the youngest in their classes with May birthdays. One kid will be 15 at the end of 7th. Red shirting is INSANE. Most go to college at 19 or almost 19 now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am totally comfortable with my underage kids drinking alcohol. When I was that age, high school students were legal. I would rather they drink under my roof and not driving than to learn tolerance when they are away at college - so sort of like the French poster above.

I do not host for their friends.

This is misleading and convenient for you.

You mean, when I was that age, some kids could legally drink part way through senior year in high school and some could not.

Kids are not over 18 until the end of high school, at best.

Are you crazy? Kids are held back so much. My kids are in middle school and are the youngest in their classes with May birthdays. One kid will be 15 at the end of 7th. Red shirting is INSANE. Most go to college at 19 or almost 19 now.

Hyperbole much? Maybe you’re in some private bubble but “most” kids are not redshirted. My kids have plenty of friends with summer birthdays on the young side who will turn 18 right before going to college.

[Anonymous]

There are basically zero consequences for parents who do this. A fine maybe.

We lost two kids in our area a few years ago all had been at party. THe Hosts a got fine from the courts. A few weeks later hosts took a bunch or underage kids to Mexico to drink on Spring break. In Mexico they might have been legal. Such empathy from sub-humans like I have never encountered. Meanwhile, two families lost their sons. Driver of car got a few years in prison, they are out enjoying life.

This can be debated over and over again. Two schools of thought.

1. It's not the party host's fault the boys left that night got in a car with a drunk driver and lost their lives. 2. The hosts are at fault for underage drinkers. Not calling any parents, etc..

Personal responsibility the two boys knew the driver was drunk or did they not know what they were doing because they were so intoxicated. The driver only one at fault knew they were extremely intoxicated.

You decide what you are comfortable with, the parents of the kids that died live with that every day.

[Anonymous]

There is no excuse ever for parents to host a drinking party for their teens. Quite frankly I never heard of such a thing.

FWIW, we allow our 16yo to have a glass of wine with dinner occasionally. At the same time, I would never serve alcohol to any of his friends or allow DS to have alcohol in front of them. Reading the responses here about how parents handle alcohol at home makes me think that (like with most things) kids come out wired one way or another. And short of abuse/neglect, they will do what they were wired to do. If your child is prone to substance abuse, (s)he will experiment with drugs/alcohol, regardless of whether you forbid drinking at home. And if your child simply does not have these tendencies, then a glass of wine during a family meal is not going to turn him/her into an alcoholic. But every family is entitled to its own rules.