6th and 7th graders swearing in texts - How big of a deal is it? How common or uncommon?

[Anonymous]

I remember swearing at school around this age and the group of kids involved are not in school together at the moment and not living close enough to physically meet up and hang out. It’s a group text situation and I may be the only parent monitoring. Well, I am taking a peek every now and again. I corrected my child for this but part of me feels like this is just normal for this age group but is it? Cell phones weren’t a thing when I was in middle school so I don’t exactly know how I would’ve been acting.

[Anonymous]

I say it's normal.

[Anonymous]

I'd be more concerned about context than just the presence of swearing. So, something like "S**t, I'm so mad I f**ked up on that math test," seems like not a big deal. But something like "That b**ch needs to learn her place" would not be ok. I'd also say something about words that aren't actually swearing, but referring to groups of people in a derogatory way, like using gay as an insult, using the word "retard," (although I don't think that's even used as a medical or diagnostic word anymore), etc.

And certain words would be off-limits, no matter context, like the n-word and the c-word.

[Anonymous]

It's natural enough, but I don't allow my children to use English sexual or religious swear words. They can say rats or blistering barnacles or whatever. I do allow, within reason and at home, some swear words in French, our native tongue. If one of them escapes into the wider world, they can just say "pardon my French"

[Anonymous]

What I told my kids is that I don't care if they curse, but I care that they not curse AT people. And they absolutely can NOT use racially aggressive words.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's natural enough, but I don't allow my children to use English sexual or religious swear words. They can say rats or blistering barnacles or whatever. I do allow, within reason and at home, some swear words in French, our native tongue. If one of them escapes into the wider world, they can just say "pardon my French"

Leapin' lizards! That is so lame.

[Anonymous]

Seriously?! It’s normal. My kids don’t, but it’s common for kids to start swearing around this age in the company of friends. I would not mention it to my kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's natural enough, but I don't allow my children to use English sexual or religious swear words. They can say rats or blistering barnacles or whatever. I do allow, within reason and at home, some swear words in French, our native tongue. If one of them escapes into the wider world, they can just say "pardon my French"

Leapin' lizards! That is so lame.

😂😂😂 agree. Reallllly lame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
It's natural enough, but I don't allow my children to use English sexual or religious swear words. They can say rats or blistering barnacles or whatever. I do allow, within reason and at home, some swear words in French, our native tongue. If one of them escapes into the wider world, they can just say "pardon my French"

Leapin' lizards! That is so lame.

Ha ha! PP you replied to. Yes, it's so lame it has its special kind of nerdy cool. We're all nerds here, and embrace it.

[Anonymous]

I distinctly remember starting to use swear words in 7th grade. I now have a 7th grader who I’ve seen using swear words in texts. It’s a little shocking at first—seriously the leap between 10/11 and 12/13, in my experience, feels like a punch in the gut—but I think it’s very typical. All part of them parting with childhood and pushing the envelope a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more concerned about context than just the presence of swearing. So, something like "S**t, I'm so mad I f**ked up on that math test," seems like not a big deal. But something like "That b**ch needs to learn her place" would not be ok. I'd also say something about words that aren't actually swearing, but referring to groups of people in a derogatory way, like using gay as an insult, using the word "retard," (although I don't think that's even used as a medical or diagnostic word anymore), etc.

And certain words would be off-limits, no matter context, like the n-word and the c-word.

+1, very well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What I told my kids is that I don't care if they curse, but I care that they not curse AT people. And they absolutely can NOT use racially aggressive words.

This, and also to know your audience. I don't really care if they swear among themselves because they are trying out the power of words. But I care a lot more if they are swearing in the classroom or in conversations with teachers/other adults. So far my 5th grader seems to understand those limits.

[Anonymous]

It's normal and I'd advise you let it go because if you make a big deal out of the little stuff they will find a way to hide it and then you'll never be alert to the big stuff.

[Anonymous]

An acquaintance of my 5th grade son sent him an email via school email with totally inappropriate words. The kid did censor them (p*ssy and motherfu*ker) but I was shocked that ES kids are using school email to send stuff like that. I told my son he has no expectation of privacy on school computers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I told my kids is that I don't care if they curse, but I care that they not curse AT people. And they absolutely can NOT use racially aggressive words.

This, and also to know your audience. I don't really care if they swear among themselves because they are trying out the power of words. But I care a lot more if they are swearing in the classroom or in conversations with teachers/other adults. So far my 5th grader seems to understand those limits.

Exactly this. I’m fine with swearing at or about a situation, but not using those words as weapons towards somebody else. My kids are 14 and 18 and best I can tell her approach has worked pretty well.