6th and 7th graders swearing in texts - How big of a deal is it? How common or uncommon?

[Anonymous]

I grounded my tween for using the term "AF" in a text with friends. You've got to draw the line somewhere, this is where it is for my elementary kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grounded my tween for using the term "AF" in a text with friends. You've got to draw the line somewhere, this is where it is for my elementary kid.

Did they actually write the words out, or type “AF”? Either way, your house/your rules, but when you hand over a device for texting to an elementary school kid, don’t be surprised when they start communicating like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grounded my tween for using the term "AF" in a text with friends. You've got to draw the line somewhere, this is where it is for my elementary kid.

This is extreme. I don’t care if they curse amongst their friends, as long as they’re not saying anything racist, sexist, or offensive. They know I and their friends’ parents sometimes monitor texts so they generally keep it pretty clean. I suspect they save the worst for in person convos or FaceTime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more concerned about context than just the presence of swearing. So, something like "S**t, I'm so mad I f**ked up on that math test," seems like not a big deal. But something like "That b**ch needs to learn her place" would not be ok. I'd also say something about words that aren't actually swearing, but referring to groups of people in a derogatory way, like using gay as an insult, using the word "retard," (although I don't think that's even used as a medical or diagnostic word anymore), etc.

And certain words would be off-limits, no matter context, like the n-word and the c-word.

All of this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I told my kids is that I don't care if they curse, but I care that they not curse AT people. And they absolutely can NOT use racially aggressive words.

This, and also to know your audience. I don't really care if they swear among themselves because they are trying out the power of words. But I care a lot more if they are swearing in the classroom or in conversations with teachers/other adults. So far my 5th grader seems to understand those limits.

This is pretty much our approach.

My parents always cautioned us not to overdo swearing, to save it for when you really mean it. That the words lose their power if you throw them around every other sentence.

[Anonymous]

What do you do if it’s your 4 year old who is swearing? My husband curses and DC picked up a few words, got a reaction from us and continues to say these words daily. Time outs done seem to work. It’s very embarrassing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do if it’s your 4 year old who is swearing? My husband curses and DC picked up a few words, got a reaction from us and continues to say these words daily. Time outs done seem to work. It’s very embarrassing.

My sister had a fake swear word she used, and her preschooler started imitating. They acted very shocked when he said it. Then if he got mad and yelled it loudly in target it was NBD. Unlike the time my four year old stubbed her toe on the target shopping cart and said....pretty much what I say when I stub my toe at home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's natural enough, but I don't allow my children to use English sexual or religious swear words. They can say rats or blistering barnacles or whatever. I do allow, within reason and at home, some swear words in French, our native tongue. If one of them escapes into the wider world, they can just say "pardon my French"

What about scatological swear words? And is a-hole considered sexual? (It wasn’t when I grew up but I guess people have broader definitions now!)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
It's natural enough, but I don't allow my children to use English sexual or religious swear words. They can say rats or blistering barnacles or whatever. I do allow, within reason and at home, some swear words in French, our native tongue. If one of them escapes into the wider world, they can just say "pardon my French"

Let me swear in French! No one around here will understand, anyway.
Blistering barnacles is hilarious!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more concerned about context than just the presence of swearing. So, something like "S**t, I'm so mad I f**ked up on that math test," seems like not a big deal. But something like "That b**ch needs to learn her place" would not be ok. I'd also say something about words that aren't actually swearing, but referring to groups of people in a derogatory way, like using gay as an insult, using the word "retard," (although I don't think that's even used as a medical or diagnostic word anymore), etc.

And certain words would be off-limits, no matter context, like the n-word and the c-word.

All of this.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I grounded my tween for using the term "AF" in a text with friends. You've got to draw the line somewhere, this is where it is for my elementary kid.

Mine is now 13 and our ongoing conversations are about knowing his audience. At this point I don’t care if he’s texting AF to friends or straight up spelling it. They are figuring it all out at this age and I remember swearing with friends in middle school. The difference is having respect for the people you live with. I don’t want to hear it and don’t drop those words in casual conversation at the dinner table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do you do if it’s your 4 year old who is swearing? My husband curses and DC picked up a few words, got a reaction from us and continues to say these words daily. Time outs done seem to work. It’s very embarrassing.

You ignore. Don’t give it attention. He will be on to a new habit soon. I remember DS saying one word loudly and often when he was imitating DH around that age. It didn’t last long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd be more concerned about context than just the presence of swearing. So, something like "S**t, I'm so mad I f**ked up on that math test," seems like not a big deal. But something like "That b**ch needs to learn her place" would not be ok. I'd also say something about words that aren't actually swearing, but referring to groups of people in a derogatory way, like using gay as an insult, using the word "retard," (although I don't think that's even used as a medical or diagnostic word anymore), etc.

And certain words would be off-limits, no matter context, like the n-word and the c-word.

All of this.

+1

+2

[Anonymous]

I would nip that in the bud. Bad language is a hard habit to break and the way we speak (and type) informs other peoples' impression of us. I know a lot of people think it is the age but as a middle school teacher I think you need to reel that language in. I am pretty appalled at all the posters here who think it is okay to curse, and who aren't blinking an eye at a 6th or 7th grader cursing. Yikes.

[Anonymous]

Talk to any MS teacher. They will tell you it's fine.

The kids are practicing/trying it out amongst friends. In ES, they listened to you and didn't repear the bad words. Now they are getting older, rebelling a little.

As long as they understand amongst friends, fine. With adults, NEVER.