what more is my (adult) child supposed to be getting out of life? what is she missing out on?
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Anonymous
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My eldest attended Indiana University and majored in marketing in the Kelley School of Business in 2017. She had a respectable GPA (I think somewhere in the 3.5 range) but she wasn't a standout, really, by any means. She had fun in college. She had paid internships going into her junior and senior years. She graduated and took a job in marketing at a large, F500 company based in Chicago. I think she started at $50k. Spent 3.5 years there climbing up the ranks and was at an associate product manager position (~$90k/year) when she decided she'd had enough of the cold and started looking for new jobs in San Diego and Austin -- had no problem finding one, recruiters were contacting her all the time anyway -- and now works for a large tech company in Austin in a fairly similar role as what she was doing in Chicago (which was not a tech company).
She has lots of friends and a good social life. Ended a long term relationship a few months ago with a guy she'd been dating since IU and is starting to get back out there. She volunteers. She is close with her family. She's fit and healthy and training for a half marathon. She's happy. She's making enough money to pay for everything she needs (and a lot of what she wants) in the city of her choice. And this isn't some "well, your kid got lucky" -- all of her IU friends she still keeps in contact with are also gainfully employed in their fields of choice and enjoying 20s life (whatever that looks like for them). Is there more she could be getting out of life if she went to a more competitive school? I guess that's what just doesn't add up for me. When I think of how I wanted my kids to turn out when they were little...this is pretty much it. Soo I guess I ask, with all the obsession over getting into a top school -- what would be different if she went to say, Harvard? |
Anonymous
| If it ain’t broken, don’t try to fix it. |
Anonymous
| She has a mother who is looking for validation on the DCUM college forum years after she graduated, so that's concerning. But I guess if you can get over that, you can get over anything. |
Anonymous
What’s the point of this? You don’t have a control kid. If she’d gotten into Harvard she’d presumably be more brilliant - let’s assume - and ambitious. So who knows? I wasn’t either of those things myself, I went to state schools and I now work with all people that went to Ivies at a law firm. But my husband went to an Ivy and an Ivy law school and he had many many more opportunities than I did. It’s an increase in options and exposure and network. For example he had friends high up at many tech and Silicon Valley places as well as partners at law firm and in finance so many client contacts, etc. these are the intangibles. So, again. Who knows. |
Anonymous
| OP, you are sounding obnoxious. Your DD is obviously fine and doing well. Don't you have other things to do with your time? |
Anonymous
| Strange post OP. I’m happy for your daughter and her friends but why are you still wasting time on this college board. Why are you looking for validation from anonymous people? That is a question you should explore |
Anonymous
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Is there more she could be getting out of life if she went to a more competitive school? I guess that's what just doesn't add up for me. When I think of how I wanted my kids to turn out when they were little...this is pretty much it. Soo I guess I ask, with all the obsession over getting into a top school -- what would be different if she went to say, Harvard?
Maybe she went to the right school for her. Maybe Harvard would have been too challenging. The kids at Indiana got the stimulation/experience they needed. The kids at Harvard got the stimulation/experience they needed. I don't think her life would have necessarily been "better" if she went to Harvard. Maybe it would have been a miserable experience. |
Anonymous
| The people who wants their kids to go to a prestigious school don’t want a contented middle class life for their kids. For better or worse, that would not be enough for them. |
Anonymous
| Really? It's not like she's living in a van, down by the river. She sounds like a healthy, happy, productive adult. What more could a parent ask for????? |
Anonymous
That is OP's point, I suppose. OP, who cares? She clearly would never have gotten into Harvard. Are you asking - what would it be like if I had an entirely different child? I mean, WTF knows? I know many people who went to Harvard and Yale. All of them are indeed very successful, intelligent and interesting. That is just what it is. How successful they are depends on the metrics. Many of them chose academia. Those that went to law school have many options but many I know chose non profits and gov work. I am guessing your solidly average sounding daughter would not have wanted that. So, again. Stupid question. |
Anonymous
Obviously, not. Otherwise, she won't be on a parenting site with a college graduate, adult daughter. |
Anonymous
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I mean, yeah, there are probably people who have more money and better jobs and more fun adventures than your daughter, OP. Some of them went to T20. Most of them did not. Also, your daughter is just as, if not more, happy than those people.
Some people wanted the experience of going to top schools. You don't have to hate on them. No one said you should want that for your daughter. What's even happening right now. Why all the "why doesn't everyone do life like me?" posts. |
Anonymous
Right, that's because your ambitions for your kids were normal. You didn't want them to be President of the United States, Supreme Court Justice, NASA Astronauts, Tech founder of mega tech company, Tenured and/or Nobel winning professor, inventor of modern drug, cure cancer, so on.. The ambitions those other parents who clamor for Harvard, MIT, Stanford is all that. |
Anonymous
University of Delaware it is, I guess! |
Anonymous
| I think it's weird that you know her salary. |