Unhappy, frustrated son

[Anonymous]

My U12 son is unhappy and frustrated. His travel team has had little success this year, and the kids keep making the same mistakes over and over in scrimmages. His coach is sort of a lunatic and yells and tells they kids how disappointed he is in them all the time (all of them as a group). My son used to love going to practice and now he tries to get out of it (claiming that he is injured when he isn't, or that he has to study. when he has already studied enough). He still likes to play pickup soccer and do drills with my husband. How can I encourage/help him to get through this season? I am sure things will get better next year, but he needs to finish this year out with a better attitude.

[Anonymous]

His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

[Anonymous]

Can he/you find another team? When is the season over?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

+1

[Anonymous]

His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

The coach is bad, this is true, but we have already spoken with him and with the league, and nothing has really changed. Given that it is what it is, we want to encourage my son to keep his head up and get through the season with as positive an attitude as possible. We think this will be a good learning experience for later in life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

The coach is bad, this is true, but we have already spoken with him and with the league, and nothing has really changed. Given that it is what it is, we want to encourage my son to keep his head up and get through the season with as positive an attitude as possible. We think this will be a good learning experience for later in life.

Well, it won't be. All it will do is teach him that if he's being abused he should keep his head down and suck it up.

If this were my kid we'd have left the team and then league. But you do you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

The coach is bad, this is true, but we have already spoken with him and with the league, and nothing has really changed. Given that it is what it is, we want to encourage my son to keep his head up and get through the season with as positive an attitude as possible. We think this will be a good learning experience for later in life.

You talked to the league????? I would think the league would tell you its you TDs problem. What do you expect the league to do?

[Anonymous]

This is a recipe for him completely burning out and refusing to go by 7th grade. Feigning an injury (multiple times!) is a major red flag. Find another team or do rec for a while u til you can.

[Anonymous]

Start searching for other clubs that will be holding tryouts later this spring. If he has something to look forward to, it may help him get through this season.

If it were just a bad team, I would suggest that he use it as an opportunity to work on some of his individual skills. But he shouldn't have to put up with an abusive coach, who you describe as a lunatic. I would consider quitting this team and working with a trainer this spring, if your son wants to continue to play soccer.

[Anonymous]

OP if that coach is verbally abusive why is your kid still there?

It is soccer period. Why in the world would you leave him on a team like that?

I have a ton of experience in this area and I would never leave my kid on a team with a coach like that.

This is not a "learning experience"

[Anonymous]

My son had a disappointing experience with his travel soccer team at around the same age; didn’t want to practice, etc. The next year, he said he wanted to play house instead of travel, and that’s where he’s been since and he’s been very happy.

He’s not going to be a professional soccer player, so it’s perfectly fine. He’s enjoying the game again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My U12 son is unhappy and frustrated. His travel team has had little success this year, and the kids keep making the same mistakes over and over in scrimmages. His coach is sort of a lunatic and yells and tells they kids how disappointed he is in them all the time (all of them as a group). My son used to love going to practice and now he tries to get out of it (claiming that he is injured when he isn't, or that he has to study. when he has already studied enough). He still likes to play pickup soccer and do drills with my husband. How can I encourage/help him to get through this season? I am sure things will get better next year, but he needs to finish this year out with a better attitude.

Is this a Herndon coach by any chance? Sounds familiar....

[Anonymous]

I think whether I'd make my kid stick it out would depend on what you knew going into the season. If you knew this coach was a "lunatic" and still the kid decided to play on this team, then I'd want to know exactly why you signed him up for this team, and what *he* thought would be the benefit. If that benefit still exists, then I'd probably make him stick it out and talk through how to prioritize aspects when making decisions in the future. (This is, of course, assuming that this is a screamy coach, but not one that is saying anything offensive. If that's not the case, pull the kid and don't look back)

If he didn't know anything about this coach, or if there was a coaching change, then I wouldn't hesitate to let the kid leave the team immediately, and tell both the coach and the league why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

The coach is bad, this is true, but we have already spoken with him and with the league, and nothing has really changed. Given that it is what it is, we want to encourage my son to keep his head up and get through the season with as positive an attitude as possible. We think this will be a good learning experience for later in life.

What would you possibly speak to the league about?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

His coach is verbally abusive and you're concerned about his attitude? Rethink your priorities, maybe.

The coach is bad, this is true, but we have already spoken with him and with the league, and nothing has really changed. Given that it is what it is, we want to encourage my son to keep his head up and get through the season with as positive an attitude as possible. We think this will be a good learning experience for later in life.

What would you possibly speak to the league about?

+1 Did the league even respond to you? Usually the only respond to the club liaison.