Please advise - FIL not in touch with his mother (20 uears) and I want to bridge their gap

[Anonymous]

Way before Iet my DH, his family had a fallout (over 20 yrs ago)over something incredibly stupid. (An email was accidentally sent with unkind remarks).

My SIL is the root of this and she has always been a troublemaker. She has caused lots of problems btw my inlaws and us.

Anyway, my FIL misses his mother terribly. She is now well over 100 yrs old and I think he is going to regret not repairing their relationship once she passes.

My DH does not want to get involved. But I was thinking of calling her, letting her know her son loves her and misses her, etc.

Btw he sends her flowers every year for her bday. She does not respond. However, her daughter (who she lives with) is a troublemaker too. So it isn't quite clear how his mom feels.

Should I stay out of it? MYOB?

I don't want to damage the relationship I have w in laws, especially for my child.

Advice?

[Anonymous]

You know you should stay out of it. It's sad, but it's not for you to manage.

[Anonymous]

You know you shouldn't meddle, and your planned message "your son loves you" is already being conveyed by his gifts, so there's no upside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know you should stay out of it. It's sad, but it's not for you to manage.

Recently my DH had a falling out w them. He asked what to do. I said you will regret it for the rest of your life if something happened to them and you didn't repair the relationship.

And SIL was the cause of this fight.

This is how they deal with disagreements. Cut off the person. So unhealthy.

And his mom is very catholic and devoted. Our child will be receiving her 1st communion in a few weeks and we are raising her in our faith. I think she would love to know this about her great-grandaughter.

Idk. I am conflicted.

[Anonymous]

What???? You do nothing. Don’t harass an old woman with contact she clearly doesn’t want. That’s what stalkers do.

[Anonymous]

Stay in your lane, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know you shouldn't meddle, and your planned message "your son loves you" is already being conveyed by his gifts, so there's no upside.

I suppose, but what if his sister is blocking their communication? I mean the lady is 104 yrs old. Not like she is on email, blind and partially deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What???? You do nothing. Don’t harass an old woman with contact she clearly doesn’t want. That’s what stalkers do.

This.

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it!

[Anonymous]

DCUM consensus!

[Anonymous]

Get a hobby. Grown-ass adults make decisions about their own relationships. Stay the frick out of it. Get a life.

You want to over-ride the decisions and wishes of grown-ups exactly why? What makes you The Relationship Fairy, and what makes them bumbling, incapable idiots, exactly?

[Anonymous]

It's rare to see this kind of consensus, OP, but you seem to want do what you want to do. Just know, it's illogical. Leave the 100-year-old alone.

[Anonymous]

Stay out of it!! She clearly doesn’t want contact with him.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Op here. Ok! You've convinced me. Thanks