Crappy teacher said something negative to my child and now she's checked out of class

[Anonymous]

DL was hard enough and now this. This teacher acted in an inappropriate and unfair way and criticized and acted in a highly disrespectful way towards my child. It is not something we would bring up to the principal but now she's not engaged in the class and failing. What can we do to help her be happier about school the way she was before? She is in 5th grade.

[Anonymous]

I don't know how it can be inappropriate and unfair and yet not worth bringing up to the principal. What was said?

[Anonymous]

If it was inappropriate, why wouldn’t you say something?

I tried to privately address an inappropriate remark (“kindly slave owner”) made by my younger DD’s 5th grade teacher and when she doubled down, I involved the head of school. DH and I are both teachers.

[Anonymous]

How the hell would we know without you telling us what the teacher did?

[Anonymous]

If it’s that inappropriate that it is ruining her experience, I would definitely bring it up to the teacher and see if anything can be done. You’re pretty vague here, but I’m a believer that almost everyone has bad days and that includes adults. We have taught my DD to look at the big picture and not focus on on any one interaction and have used examples from her own life of things she has said to her brother and myself in haste.

Is it possible to use this as a teachable moment? Has the rest of the year been okay?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know how it can be inappropriate and unfair and yet not worth bringing up to the principal. What was said?

+1 If it's not something you'd bring up with the principal, is it something you can address directly with the teacher?

[Anonymous]

Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

[Anonymous]

Either what the teacher said was bad enough to talk to the teacher or principal about, or it wasn't so bad and you need to talk to your daughter about building resiliency.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

No- but OP has stated that it’s not bad enough to tell the principal and has not commented more which makes me think that it’s not too bad. Otherwise, I fully feel that OP should go to the teacher and talk about it. Otherwise, it is a good learning experience about not letting one thing ruin an entire year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either what the teacher said was bad enough to talk to the teacher or principal about, or it wasn't so bad and you need to talk to your daughter about building resiliency.

This exactly!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

The op said it was inappropriate, but it might not be if op is overtly sensitive. Can we have info on the original comment please?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

Apparently, it isn't bad enough to tell a supervisor about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

Apparently, it isn't bad enough to tell a supervisor about it.

It might just be a too honest comment that slipped past a tired person’s filter. The use of the term
Inappropriate could mean a lot of things that we would say to our own children in an exhausted moment, but don’t think a non-parent should blurt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Either what the teacher said was bad enough to talk to the teacher or principal about, or it wasn't so bad and you need to talk to your daughter about building resiliency.

Correct.