Crappy teacher said something negative to my child and now she's checked out of class

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kiddo, your grades are yours forever; this is your teacher for a few more months. You will move on, she will stay put. Do what you need to do to get yourself to the next grade. I love you, and you are wonderful. Do not let one person's bad behavior on one day disrupt your life and force you off of your path.

This is good advice. This is maybe the only worthwhile post on this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

Apparently, it isn't bad enough to tell a supervisor about it.

It might just be a too honest comment that slipped past a tired person’s filter. The use of the term
Inappropriate could mean a lot of things that we would say to our own children in an exhausted moment, but don’t think a non-parent should blurt.

I'm tired of hearing all YEAR that we need to allow space for teachers to be real human beings but not kids. She's a fifth grader. She doesn't have perspective. This is an adult teacher. She should have perspective. If she f'd up, she needs to be the one apologizing. Children don't just have to take abuse and inappropriate comments from adults.

[Anonymous]

Teacher said something slightly negative to parent's child while distance learning, parent loses cool

News at 11...

[Anonymous]

We don't even know what was said except that the OP did not feel it warranted speaking to the teacher or principal.

But, an 11-year-old does need to learn that people make mistakes. Is it okay? No, well not really. But... I don't know a single person (adult or child) who has not said the wrong thing once in a while. Or been a little blunter than the situation warranted. I have certainly said some things to my kids that I wish I had not! And sometimes, if my kids had not called me out on them, I would not have even known that what I said was offensive. I guess that is what I am wondering here.

Why does OP feel that what was said is not worth addressing? If it was just a few words that could have been said in a nicer way, then yes, the 5th grader can learn to move on. If it is something that is way more inappropriate, then the OP needs to step up and speak to the teacher.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Teacher said something slightly negative to parent's child while distance learning, parent loses cool

News at 11...

Oh, we're framing "wondering whether to say anything" as losing cool now, while giving teachers a pass and framing "extremely inappropriate" as "slightly negative."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher said something slightly negative to parent's child while distance learning, parent loses cool

News at 11...

Oh, we're framing "wondering whether to say anything" as losing cool now, while giving teachers a pass and framing "extremely inappropriate" as "slightly negative."

What comment by a teacher could be "extremely inappropriate" and yet not be something that warrants involving the principal's attention?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher said something slightly negative to parent's child while distance learning, parent loses cool

News at 11...

Oh, we're framing "wondering whether to say anything" as losing cool now, while giving teachers a pass and framing "extremely inappropriate" as "slightly negative."

What comment by a teacher could be "extremely inappropriate" and yet not be something that warrants involving the principal's attention?

It' wasn't "extremely inappropriate", it was "inappropriate and unfair way and criticized and acted in a highly disrespectful way towards my child".

But since OP hasn't been back to say what exactly the issue is, let's just move on. No way to tell, and these vague posts are stupid and a waste of time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kiddo, your grades are yours forever; this is your teacher for a few more months. You will move on, she will stay put. Do what you need to do to get yourself to the next grade. I love you, and you are wonderful. Do not let one person's bad behavior on one day disrupt your life and force you off of your path.

This is good advice. This is maybe the only worthwhile post on this thread.

Also, grades in 5th grade don't matter. As long as she's promoted tp 6th, it has no consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kiddo, your grades are yours forever; this is your teacher for a few more months. You will move on, she will stay put. Do what you need to do to get yourself to the next grade. I love you, and you are wonderful. Do not let one person's bad behavior on one day disrupt your life and force you off of your path.

This is good advice. This is maybe the only worthwhile post on this thread.

Also, grades in 5th grade don't matter. As long as she's promoted tp 6th, it has no consequences.

True, but the point is that the child should focus on learning and doing her job as a student well (grades being a proxy for that, but you can choose the words that suit your child best).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

Apparently, it isn't bad enough to tell a supervisor about it.

It might just be a too honest comment that slipped past a tired person’s filter. The use of the term
Inappropriate could mean a lot of things that we would say to our own children in an exhausted moment, but don’t think a non-parent should blurt.

I'm tired of hearing all YEAR that we need to allow space for teachers to be real human beings but not kids. She's a fifth grader. She doesn't have perspective. This is an adult teacher. She should have perspective. If she f'd up, she needs to be the one apologizing. Children don't just have to take abuse and inappropriate comments from adults.

You have never taught 5th graders. They are generally allowed space to be real human beings. Sometimes to the detriment of other learners.

I haven’t ever taught 5th, but I’ve written to teachers and principals enough times about disruptive kids in late ES that I suspect OP’s daughter was told to dial down her shenanigans so that others could learn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Kiddo, your grades are yours forever; this is your teacher for a few more months. You will move on, she will stay put. Do what you need to do to get yourself to the next grade. I love you, and you are wonderful. Do not let one person's bad behavior on one day disrupt your life and force you off of your path.

This is good advice. This is maybe the only worthwhile post on this thread.

lol a middle schooler's grades are not forever.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Tell your kid to buck up. That's life. Temper tantrums past age 3 or 4 should not be tolerated.

But inappropriate behavior by the teacher should be tolerated?

NP here. I agree, the student needs to buck up. People say inappropriate things all the time. Life is about moving on and not letting others determine our happiness. If it’s that bad, tell the teacher. If it happens again then you meet with the teacher and/or principal. But your DD needs to do well anyway.

[Anonymous]

This sounds like a good opportunity to teach your kid about resilience. Also about living up to life’s many non-negotiable responsibilities.

[Anonymous]

NP. Stuff like this DOES matter if you have a sensitive kid. In 4th grade, my DD had a bad teacher -- nothing special, just kind of a jerk. He played favorites, seemed to prefer the boys, and unevenly disciplined students. I spoke to him a number of times and went on one or two class field trips and really disliked him. No big deal, we all have teachers we don't like.

But one day DD got a 92 on a math test, and he apparently told her in a nasty voice, "You know, next time you should actually *try* to get a 100." He also told the class they had to get perfect scores on their SOLs or they didn't deserve to be in AAP. Whether these comments are 100% accurate or exaggerated in DD's mind, I can't tell you how much damage they have done. Things that seem innocuous to adults can stick with kids for a long, long time.

[Anonymous]

My son’s 2nd teacher has not done anything egregious, but audibly sighs when a student gets something wrong. She is constantly sighing. When she calls on a student and the student answers incorrectly, she doesn’t ask how the student arrived at the answer - she just abruptly moves on and calls the next student. Just a total lack of patience. This is discouraging for my child and while I’ve told him that we are going have teachers, colleagues and bosses that we are not fond of this really sucks for a 2nd grader. Love of learning should be fostered, and it’s not. My kid hates being called on now and does not want to participate.