Jen Hatmaker

[Anonymous]

Exactly! Wasn't her father her pastor? And apparently he can do no wrong? And neither can her mother, who I imagine had a lot to do with how sex was presented to her. How does she reconcile the two?

She lives in contradictions and, what is it, cognitive dissonance? She has constantly regaled her readers with actual text messages of her supportive, former-pastor father. I think she will shunt him off to the side and rather focus on various other churches she attended and the horrors she suffered at their hands.

Jen won't cop to the actual fruit of her young marriage-
She easily had 3 healthy bio kids
She and Brandon built a family and raised their children and were stable enough, financially and emotionally (and spiritually- and their spiritual community helped tremendously), to adopt two more
Her grown children are mostly thriving
She got to attend her oldest son's wedding to a wonderful gal, and will likely get to be a grandmother in the next few years
They had a seemingly loving marriage for over 20 years
She was able to launch her successful career as an author with her family's support
All before age 50

[Anonymous]

In that excerpt, Jen is quoting the Bible but she kind of messes it up. She takes "the heart is deceitful above all things" but takes it to mean "ignore your gut." This isn't how it goes. Our hearts desire things that aren't always good for us. Our guts protect us. She is already messing up from the get-go.

[Anonymous]

There’s not an authentic or honest bone in her body.

Women who constantly talk about being harmed by “the patriarchy” just show their hand that they haven’t experienced true trauma. I realize her divorce was legitimate true trauma but it wasn’t bc of patriarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A tell all about the supposed horrors of purity culture would have been interesting and fresh about 15 years ago.

But a 50 year old woman writing about it in 2024-2025?

If Jen was so scarred by purity culture is she going to put her own beloved father/pastor on blast or will he somehow totally get a pass?

Exactly! Wasn't her father her pastor? And apparently he can do no wrong? And neither can her mother, who I imagine had a lot to do with how sex was presented to her. How does she reconcile the two? I also have an evangelical background (from one of the largest megachurches in the nation, but not Baptist). I'm almost two years older than Jen but "purity culture" wasn't really a thing. We mostly just talked about saving sex for marriage. There was a little bit about dressing modestly (girls AND boys), acting modestly, and not living in sin. But it wasn't constantly drummed in our heads. And nothing about it made me feel shame about my body. I probably could have used more information about sex, but I wasn't taught that it made me dirty. My parents (mostly mom) supplemented that by telling me that there is nothing to be ashamed about by sex itself and it's great when shared between two loving, married, people. And that if I ever did get pregnant while unmarried, to please come to them and not hide. Just because SHE had a bad experience doesn't mean all evangelicals did.

And hasn't this topic been rehashed by many other authors?

Same. I’m 50 and grew up going to a megachurch in the south (southern Baptist) from age 7 until college. I never want to discount others’ experiences but I never once experienced purity trauma shame. Heck, I’m still friends with those kids I was in youth group with and no one seems scarred by our church experiences or from purity culture. Agree that just because she had a bad experience doesn’t mean that all evangelicals did. The church isn’t perfect but I’m grateful for the friendships I made and for having a safe place to go and hang out when I was young.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t expect Big Sis to consider the experiences of others. She’s proven how shallow she is in her writing.

But, consider those of us that grew up outside of purity culture. The ones that were never told that sex is sacred and should be saved for real love. The ones who didn’t grow up with present fathers that loved and praised us.

There are real life consequences to non-committed sex (especially as a teen), and it’s not fun. It’s empty. It’s sad. It’s heartbreaking.

She’s lucky she never had to experience it.

[Anonymous]

She’s lucky she never had to experience it.

1000%

Can she give credit where it is due? Not really.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I agree about Jen. She has such warmth about her and was a great story teller. She also seemed much more humble and self-aware. I recall she had friends then too, but there wasn't this obsessive need to brag about all her friends and post girlie photos like a middle school girl who wants you to know she's popular.

In her earlier books, she wrote about her friends being very supportive to her in various, normal ways, and how they would band together and pool resources to help folks in their community, like single moms who were quietly having food insecurity or general needs, like dishes, etc. No fanfare, but just friends doing good work in the name of Jesus. Even her anecdotes about Tray and his pager were actually funny. But these were Interrupted and 7 stories- so I wonder if she changed editors after them?
What bits I read of subsequent books were just family stories and increasing braggy content, without much warmth or relatability or much of a point, really.

Except even that was BS. I posted this before but I had an ANC Meal Train when my family really needed support and surprise surprise I was ghosted by Jen. No call, no sorry I forgot. Nothing. She signed up because it looked good and left us high and dry.

She had no problem dropping her kids with any of us at any time or taking our tithes and our book sales.

After the whole affirming LGBT incident at church they even had the congregation (what was left) hand make them greeting cards because their lives were so hard.

If I read this forum because I’m still mad it’s because I am.

No doubt you're mad. And delusional.

Hey Jen or Jenny or Shonna or Megan!

I wouldn’t mess with an “ANC Gal” We keep screenshots and group chats and we remember how you treated Stephanie, Allison and Jessica or how much you trash talked Jackie for trying to write books like Jen.

You burned too many bridges to throw rocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A tell all about the supposed horrors of purity culture would have been interesting and fresh about 15 years ago.

But a 50 year old woman writing about it in 2024-2025?

If Jen was so scarred by purity culture is she going to put her own beloved father/pastor on blast or will he somehow totally get a pass?

Exactly! Wasn't her father her pastor? And apparently he can do no wrong? And neither can her mother, who I imagine had a lot to do with how sex was presented to her. How does she reconcile the two? I also have an evangelical background (from one of the largest megachurches in the nation, but not Baptist). I'm almost two years older than Jen but "purity culture" wasn't really a thing. We mostly just talked about saving sex for marriage. There was a little bit about dressing modestly (girls AND boys), acting modestly, and not living in sin. But it wasn't constantly drummed in our heads. And nothing about it made me feel shame about my body. I probably could have used more information about sex, but I wasn't taught that it made me dirty. My parents (mostly mom) supplemented that by telling me that there is nothing to be ashamed about by sex itself and it's great when shared between two loving, married, people. And that if I ever did get pregnant while unmarried, to please come to them and not hide. Just because SHE had a bad experience doesn't mean all evangelicals did.

And hasn't this topic been rehashed by many other authors?

She can use the Glennon D. playbook. She put her parents on pedestals until she was well into Middle Age and then eventually on the podcast tidbits came out-Nothing earth shattering, but if I recall correctly Glennon mentioned things like emphasis on watching food intake and being thin in the family, rigid rules-nothing major, but far different from the portrayal of perfection she used to give them. Jen will delicately dissect her upbringing and hope by the time they book is published they are starting to fade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Read the small excerpt on her IG and I don't think I can read any more. She is trying so hard to write her own Handmaid's Tale.

I don't want to hear a word about bodies from a woman who publicly shames an overweight person on a plane.

I am a couple of years older than Jen, and spent plenty of time in Southern Baptist youth group (Nashville, no less.) Purity culture was about sex being important enough, and special enough, to wait until marriage. It had plenty of flaws, but I think this was its main message- that sex was a gift from God, who made our bodies wonderfully.

I was raised in a mostly non-churchgoing household, but went to youth group on Wednesdays with a friend and her family. The church message was a relief from everything else that I was reading and watching at home, which was Cosmo and HBO and Cinemax. I just get frustrated with Jen so much because she just maligns everything to do with her church background (that her father was a big, positive part of).

I just read the excerpt on Instagram too. It's barf inducing. But there are hundreds of comments from people who seem to love it. It's astounding to me.

[Anonymous]

Jen is easily one oft the most privileged people ever as it relates to the American church. Daughter of a pastor, who is supposedly the dearest and most perfect father ever, wife of a head pastor, a woman who literally created a church in her own image and was the de facto leader of it, despite not being an elder or on staff. She was the queen of Christian mommy bloggers fir a season and had all the goodies…

Now she’s going to talk about the patriarchy and purity culture from the position of someone deeply wounded from her experience? It rings so hollow.

[Anonymous]

You want to talk about “church abuse”, Jen?

Let’s talk about how ANC treated Dale Lear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You want to talk about “church abuse”, Jen?

Let’s talk about how ANC treated Dale Lear.

God rest his soul.

[Anonymous]

No doubt you're mad. And delusional.

Hey Jen or Jenny or Shonna or Megan!

I wouldn’t mess with an “ANC Gal” We keep screenshots and group chats and we remember how you treated Stephanie, Allison and Jessica or how much you trash talked Jackie for trying to write books like Jen.

You burned too many bridges to throw rocks.


So spill the tea!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You want to talk about “church abuse”, Jen?

Let’s talk about how ANC treated Dale Lear.

God rest his soul.

What happened to Dale Lear?

[Anonymous]

I’ve met three predatory narcissists in my life. One was family, one through work, one is Jen. Getting up close to one is very disorienting as normal rules don’t apply. They tend to be clever and very good at hiding their real motives and schemes but eventually, if you’re around them enough, you start to see what’s behind the mask. It’s chilling.

Everything is a play or an angle. People are to be used and manipulated. Everything is arranged to help prop up their standing and influence and power (like ANC was, until it wasn’t).

I’m a pretty good judge of character and it took me quite awhile to see the real Jen. I don’t say this lightly. Jen is a monster.