SAHM with nanny - what does she/you do?

[Anonymous]

Not shaming, just genuinely curious. I know several women who are SAHMs to two kids and have full time nannies and I just can’t fully imagine how that dynamic works.

[Anonymous]

The nanny allows me to be in "household manager" mode. We don't have a cleaning service so I can get groceries and cook, prepare snacks for the kids, clean the house and do laundry. While I'm doing these chores, I used to plan family vacations, extracurriculars, or handle any special projects. Right now I'm GCing our landscape project and staying on top of immersion distance learning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nanny allows me to be in "household manager" mode. We don't have a cleaning service so I can get groceries and cook, prepare snacks for the kids, clean the house and do laundry. While I'm doing these chores, I used to plan family vacations, extracurriculars, or handle any special projects. Right now I'm GCing our landscape project and staying on top of immersion distance learning.

Do you still do stuff with your kids while she is working? If your kids are older I can see the benefit of a nanny so you can do activities or volunteer at school too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The nanny allows me to be in "household manager" mode. We don't have a cleaning service so I can get groceries and cook, prepare snacks for the kids, clean the house and do laundry. While I'm doing these chores, I used to plan family vacations, extracurriculars, or handle any special projects. Right now I'm GCing our landscape project and staying on top of immersion distance learning.

This fills your week? I assume you spend a lot of time with the kids and the nanny too?

[Anonymous]

Don’t have one now, but when I did, take one kid to activities, go to the gym, clean, laundry, grocery shopping, meal prep, bills, taxes, meet with friends, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The nanny allows me to be in "household manager" mode. We don't have a cleaning service so I can get groceries and cook, prepare snacks for the kids, clean the house and do laundry. While I'm doing these chores, I used to plan family vacations, extracurriculars, or handle any special projects. Right now I'm GCing our landscape project and staying on top of immersion distance learning.

This fills your week? I assume you spend a lot of time with the kids and the nanny too?

I tried to divide and conquer so when the nanny is with them I'm not with the kids so much. But the nanny only works 40 hours a week so there's a lot of other time I'm with the kids And I don't have to be distracted with chores or planning stuff, which is great

[Anonymous]

I don't have a nanny and I'm not a SAHM but I don't find this difficult to imagine at all. 1:1 time with one kid, chores, organizing, etc. I can't watch my kids and, say, purge their outdated clothes at the same time.

[Anonymous]

Before covid we had someone half time and it really facilitated one-on-one time with kids and demanding activities (ie, each kid plays travel sport, one takes intensive Suzuki music lessons, one was in speech therapy for a while, etc). Ours also would run errands, like take my car in for servicing or get groceries, and she’d do laundry.

I cannot imagine having a nanny so I could CLEAN however! Or do laundry! If you have a high income, which presumably a family with a SAHM and nanny does, why wouldn't you outsource those??

[Anonymous]

^ I will add it’s super hard to find a half time nanny, so many SAHMs end up hiring more help than they need just because that’s the only way to find someone reliable

[Anonymous]

I know somebody who is essentially a SAHM and whose husband is gone almost all the time, and who has an nanny who goes to school part time. The nanny lets my friend do Pilates classes, take kids to doctors appointments without dragging along four other kids, spend one-on-one time with her kids, go in dates in the evening easily, and not spend all her time cleaning. It seems like a great setup to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a nanny and I'm not a SAHM but I don't find this difficult to imagine at all. 1:1 time with one kid, chores, organizing, etc. I can't watch my kids and, say, purge their outdated clothes at the same time.

Why not? I just don’t get this. Plop kids down with some toys and sort clothes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't have a nanny and I'm not a SAHM but I don't find this difficult to imagine at all. 1:1 time with one kid, chores, organizing, etc. I can't watch my kids and, say, purge their outdated clothes at the same time.

And yet millions of people find a way to do this all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Before covid we had someone half time and it really facilitated one-on-one time with kids and demanding activities (ie, each kid plays travel sport, one takes intensive Suzuki music lessons, one was in speech therapy for a while, etc). Ours also would run errands, like take my car in for servicing or get groceries, and she’d do laundry.

I cannot imagine having a nanny so I could CLEAN however! Or do laundry! If you have a high income, which presumably a family with a SAHM and nanny does, why wouldn't you outsource those??

I'm a SAHM without a nanny or cleaning service and I would totally choose nanny over housekeeper/cleaning people because I'm very particular about how I like things cleaned and what it used. Plus, I would really enjoy taking a break from my kids. Also, the nanny comes with the added benefit of being able to go to appointments alone or meet up with friends without having to arrange ad-hoc childcare. If it's either-or, I'm choosing nanny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know somebody who is essentially a SAHM and whose husband is gone almost all the time, and who has an nanny who goes to school part time. The nanny lets my friend do Pilates classes, take kids to doctors appointments without dragging along four other kids, spend one-on-one time with her kids, go in dates in the evening easily, and not spend all her time cleaning. It seems like a great setup to me.

Oh dear.

[Anonymous]

My kids are older now but I've always had a nanny since making the transition to 2 kids then 3.

Having the nanny allowed me to take the older kids out to activities and museums without having to bring the baby and interrupt her nap schedule. Then in the afternoon, I'd usually take 2 hours to myself to relax and read a book while the nanny played with the older kids and the baby napped.

Having her also let me run the occasional errand without lugging the kids.