Do you get angry about the life you've been given (things you cannot control?)

[Anonymous]

I'm talking the stuff you cannot control:
- being physically abused
- growing up in poverty
- emotional, mentally ill parents
- infertility
- abusive spouse
- addicted family members
- medical issues + poor health
- premature deaths in your family of origin or spouse/children
- sexual abuse

[Anonymous]

Being betrayed in a long marriage. Yes. Furious.

[Anonymous]

I have a very high ACE score, and I have spent a fair amount of time angry/depressed (depression is anger turned inward) about how those adverse childhood experiences have negatively impacted my life and prevented me from achieving some of my dearest dreams.

I’m working hard on putting all that sadness in a proper place so I can carve out some contentment with the time I have left.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very high ACE score, and I have spent a fair amount of time angry/depressed (depression is anger turned inward) about how those adverse childhood experiences have negatively impacted my life and prevented me from achieving some of my dearest dreams.

I’m working hard on putting all that sadness in a proper place so I can carve out some contentment with the time I have left.

OP here.
My ace score is a 7.
My whole family is dead from addiction except me.
I’m kind, married, educated, well off, have lovely kids, have a good career, very involved in the community. In spite of that. But I have severe ptsd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a very high ACE score, and I have spent a fair amount of time angry/depressed (depression is anger turned inward) about how those adverse childhood experiences have negatively impacted my life and prevented me from achieving some of my dearest dreams.

I’m working hard on putting all that sadness in a proper place so I can carve out some contentment with the time I have left.

+1 well put.

I was a bright kid but our home life was a wreck. So I was a wreck of a teenager/young adult. Heck, I’m a wreck now. My parents had stable childhoods but didn’t give us one. My parents’ siblings are successful. We lived in poverty. I wish I could say they tried their best but they didn’t. So sometimes I’m bitter. Should probably find a therapist ...

[Anonymous]

No. I had a few from your list happen. I do not get angry. I had something much worse happen than what you list.
I notice you do not mention children apart from death row? I am curious as to why is that?

[Anonymous]

Similar circumstances: depression, anxiety, and PTSD. I dissociate. All due childhood crap. Therapy, meds, meditation, and exercise help. Therapy has been life-changing.

[Anonymous]

Try DBT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I had a few from your list happen. I do not get angry. I had something much worse happen than what you list.
I notice you do not mention children apart from death row? I am curious as to why is that?

Yes, sorry would add other things to list out of control:
- Having child with severe health issues, mental health issues, illness or disability

[Anonymous]

yes...all of the time. My father hit us and my mother. My mother was severely mentally ill. My brother died from cancer when he was a young adult. My daughter suffers from severe depression and anxiety and is at a residential program.....BUT - I function well. Have a great job. Went to college. Graduated with honors. Wonderful husband. Just tired of being sad....

[Anonymous]

I go back and forth. The waves come less frequently now, and I am better about bouncing back. I definitely honor the anger though.

[Anonymous]

I am so angry that my amazing husband died unexpectedly and young of cancer. It’s been less than a year and I hide it well around my family. But I am so mad he is gone. He was the best and kindest person I have ever known. Life will never be the same. Covid has made the grieving worse.

[Anonymous]

Not angry, but I'm bitter that I was born with so many and such severe learning disabilities. I wish my parents hadn't had me. It causes difficulties EVERY SINGLE DAY, and there's nothing I can do about them.

[Anonymous]

Extremely sad and angry right now. My 60-year-old mom has terminal cancer. I'm an only child, so no sibling support for me. I'll be my dad's sole caregiver down the road and I am just not a caregiver by nature, which terrifies me. Please don't flame me for this, but this whole experience with my mom has taught me how much I hate taking care of people. There's no way in hell I'm having children! COVID is making it even worse, because I can't see my friends for support and phone calls and video chats just aren't the same. One of my closest friend lives 15 minutes from me and won't even see me socially-distanced outside with masks on, because I've been going into work five days a week. I just need a hug so badly right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not angry, but I'm bitter that I was born with so many and such severe learning disabilities. I wish my parents hadn't had me. It causes difficulties EVERY SINGLE DAY, and there's nothing I can do about them.

This makes me so incredibly sad. I have a daughter with severe learning disabilities and I hope she knows how grateful and thankful I am for her. I am so sorry it is so hard for you. I hope you find a place that makes you feel appreciated and recognizes all of your gifts.