Telework hell that all the work of A stay at home parent while still working

[Anonymous]

I know a lot of us are in the spot and I just need to vent. I am doing all of the work of a stay at home parent while working full-time. I’m just really frustrated because my husband just treats me as the stay at home spouse. Therefore, I do all of the pick up all of the drop off all of the laundry all the cooking. All of the childcare arrangements and schooling. He goes to the store once in a while. He never cleans. I hired cleaners two days a week because I really truly feel that I would slide into a deep depression without them. They are literally my most valuable people in my life right now. What does that say about me? We are equal owners, with me being slightly more the breadwinner. I have a busy and significant job.

[Anonymous]

Seems totally unfair, really. What does he say when you talk to him about it? How's the rest of your relationship?

[Anonymous]

Therapy. Either for both of you or by yourself. Resentment is the number one reason for a divorce.

[Anonymous]

I get it OP. It’s something my DH and I have been working on this whole time. It’s so hard. I’m glad you got the cleaners in at least. But he needs to do more.

[Anonymous]

Why don't you, I don't know, actually go into your office or your place of employment? (If it is feasible and possible for you) - you sound miserable and if you are able to have your children at school during the day, why not do something for yourself (IE get out of your house and actually be around other people?)

[Anonymous]

You have child care and housekeeping twice a week....you don’t get it.

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand.

You’re a work at home parent with a partner that is lazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you, I don't know, actually go into your office or your place of employment? (If it is feasible and possible for you) - you sound miserable and if you are able to have your children at school during the day, why not do something for yourself (IE get out of your house and actually be around other people?)

Sounds like her lazy oaf of a husband wouldn’t even notice

[Anonymous]

My husband is the exact same and driving my effing CRAZY. He makes more than me so he thinks his job is #1, but I make like 40% of HHI so he can EFF OFF.

[Anonymous]

Check out Fair Play - I was in a similar situation and it was really helpful

https://www.amazon.com/Fair-Play-Game-Changing-Solution-When-ebook/dp/B07NTX84PY

[Anonymous]

Just drop the rope. That is untenable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just drop the rope. That is untenable.

The only thing she's complaining about is pick-up, laundry and cooking. Everything but pick-up would have been done before Covid. So who did the laundry and cooking in 2019 OP?

[Anonymous]

Did you split drop off/pick up before?

[Anonymous]

She probably had a nanny before. My nanny did all the laundry and took kids to activities but quit at the start of the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She probably had a nanny before. My nanny did all the laundry and took kids to activities but quit at the start of the pandemic.

My takeaway has been that the real hero of the WOHMuniverse was the nanny. All the talk about the working mom doing a "real job" and doing every thing a SAHM does was just a load of BS. Now without the nanny/School/Childcare...the whole house of cards is crashing down. And all of the husbands seem to be good for nothing. Why is that?