XH introducing SO to kids

[Anonymous]

My XH just emailed me that he's introducing his SO to my kids. I think he told me just to hurt me. Any suggestions what I should reply? Just call my lawyer?

[Anonymous]

No, he told you because if he didn't and the kids did, you'd have a fit. Why would you call your lawyer? If you are divorced, he has a right to date. Are you dating?

You respond. "Thanks for letting me know. I hope everyone had a nice time."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, he told you because if he didn't and the kids did, you'd have a fit. Why would you call your lawyer? If you are divorced, he has a right to date. Are you dating?

You respond. "Thanks for letting me know. I hope everyone had a nice time."

+1.

[Anonymous]

What do you think your lawyer is going to do?

[Anonymous]

Either respond as above or don't respond at all. But definitely keep the (non-judgmental) door open for your kids to talk to you about it. When my son met my XH's girlfriend (now wife) he used me as a sounding board to his feelings about the situation. As much as it SUCKED I did my best to show no emotions about the situation and just be there for him. And he had a lot to unpack. Just be there to support your kids. Your feelings about the situation doesn't matter.

[Anonymous]

Your kids?

They are his kids, too.

I know this is hard, but this is what happens when parents divorce. Just wait until he takes them on fabulous trips with the new GF...and when they’re in his next wedding and you see the pics on social media.

Divorced parents opt for 50-50 control over things. You need to accept the fact that you can’t control stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Response?

“Okay.”

That’s it.

[Anonymous]

Did your ex have to take a vow of chastity as a condition of the divorce?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, he told you because if he didn't and the kids did, you'd have a fit. Why would you call your lawyer? If you are divorced, he has a right to date. Are you dating?

You respond. "Thanks for letting me know. I hope everyone had a nice time."

+1.

x1000. OP, sometimes it’s not all about you. You should be glad he told you beforehand so you hear it from him and can be positive when the kids mention it. If you freak out, the kids will stop telling you things. And he’s an ex - you didn’t expect him to become a mink, did you?

[Anonymous]

Was she the OW?

[Anonymous]

Exhibit 12,742 on how everyone loses their mind during divorce.

[Anonymous]

Silence is Golden in this situation. Unfortunately when we divorce we loose control over aspects of our children’s lives because our ex spouse can conduct themselves ( assuming it is safe and responsible parenting) the way they care to in their new life as a single parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My XH just emailed me that he's introducing his SO to my kids. I think he told me just to hurt me. Any suggestions what I should reply? Just call my lawyer?

He actually did the polite thing here. I find out XH is dating someone new when she shows up with him to pick up our kid. That’s also when my kid finds out her dad is dating someone new!

[Anonymous]

Oooh, I know it hurts. But all you can do is thank him for letting you know.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps he told you in case the kids are upset or it stirs up some sort of emotional response in them and he thought you should know. I doubt it was to hurt you.

Why would you call a lawyer he can date whoever he likes and your kids can meet whoever he likes. He was actually being mature and thoughtful to let you know what was happening with the kids. It gives you an opportunity to then discuss any issues you have regarding the kids and raise any concerns.