Feeling guilty after losing weight

[Anonymous]

35/f. SW - 164 CW - 151 GW - 147. The 147 is what I weighed before I had my first baby in 2016. I've lost 13 pounds and feel amazing. I can't stop looking at myself! But I am angry that I held onto my baby weight for 4 years. I tried many times to "diet" (I'll start on Monday!), I joined the gym a few times, and nothing worked. When I would fail, I'd tell myself to accept my new weight and my new body. I'd eat a few cookies and hate myself for it. I had so much anxiety over my health and felt terrible about the example I was setting for my children. But now that I am exercising and feeling great, I can't believe I let myself be fat and unhealthy for so long. 4 years + pregnancy is half of my relationship with my husband.

Anyone else feel guilty about not losing weight sooner?

[Anonymous]

Therapy? Do t mean to be snarky, but you were angry at yourself before succeeding and now you’re pissed that you’ve succeeded, just sounds like someone with low self-esteem. Try to dump that self-hatred along with the weight. IT weighs you down mentally and also interferes with your goals. Good luck OP and congratulations!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Therapy? Do t mean to be snarky, but you were angry at yourself before succeeding and now you’re pissed that you’ve succeeded, just sounds like someone with low self-esteem. Try to dump that self-hatred along with the weight. IT weighs you down mentally and also interferes with your goals. Good luck OP and congratulations!

Also, how tall are you? Even at your starting weight you were not THAT heavy. Time to reset your expectations.

[Anonymous]

I can relate to this, but at some point you just need to congratulate yourself on taking the initiative to make a change and see it through. You can't lose weight until something clicks and you're mentally ready. Having a kid is a ton of work and it is difficult to prioritize yourself and your health when you are constantly thinking about someone else's well-being. Just use how good you feel to serve as a reminder to keep up maintenance, which tends to be the hard part. Congratulations on the weight loss -- you have MANY MANY years to be proud of your new body and accomplishments.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Therapy? Do t mean to be snarky, but you were angry at yourself before succeeding and now you’re pissed that you’ve succeeded, just sounds like someone with low self-esteem. Try to dump that self-hatred along with the weight. IT weighs you down mentally and also interferes with your goals. Good luck OP and congratulations!

Also, how tall are you? Even at your starting weight you were not THAT heavy. Time to reset your expectations.

Short, about 5 feet. Maybe I wasn't that heavy but I felt uncomfortable.

[Anonymous]

I think you need to change your mindset! I challenge you to keep a journal and write down 3 things every night that you like or love about yourself. Doesn’t have to be related to the body. Try not to repeat items for at least 4 days.

Do this for 2 weeks and see if it helps.

[Anonymous]

My husband passed suddenly when I was 29. I gained 20 pounds in the 6 months after (I was slightly underweight to begin with though). I held onto that weight for the next 1.5 years, telling myself my body just needed it and it’s how it’s going to be. Then I got tired of feeling stuffed into my clothes. I hadn’t been in the mood to shop since he died, so my clothes were all from 20 pounds prior.

I lost 12 pounds in 12 weeks with very minimal effort - no change in my exercise, just tracked macros. I maintained that loss for the holiday month, then lost another 6 pounds in January. It was so easy to do and I felt so good again that I beat myself up for the year and a half I was so heavy.

Reflecting on it now, I needed that freedom. I needed to eat a pint of ice cream and cry sometimes. I needed to order dinner because I was just too worn down to make it to the grocery store after work. I needed to spend a day making cupcakes with my niece. My life went through a major change and I prioritized things that healed me mentally.

You had kids and needed to focus your energy on them and on enjoying those moments. If it took a few years for you to find a space in your life where you could tackle the weight, that’s fine. Be proud of yourself for doing it and continue to live well.

[Anonymous]

No, I yo yo with my weight and the only thing I think about when I manage to lose some is how long I will be able to keep the charade going. I always gain it back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband passed suddenly when I was 29. I gained 20 pounds in the 6 months after (I was slightly underweight to begin with though). I held onto that weight for the next 1.5 years, telling myself my body just needed it and it’s how it’s going to be. Then I got tired of feeling stuffed into my clothes. I hadn’t been in the mood to shop since he died, so my clothes were all from 20 pounds prior.

I lost 12 pounds in 12 weeks with very minimal effort - no change in my exercise, just tracked macros. I maintained that loss for the holiday month, then lost another 6 pounds in January. It was so easy to do and I felt so good again that I beat myself up for the year and a half I was so heavy.

Reflecting on it now, I needed that freedom. I needed to eat a pint of ice cream and cry sometimes. I needed to order dinner because I was just too worn down to make it to the grocery store after work. I needed to spend a day making cupcakes with my niece. My life went through a major change and I prioritized things that healed me mentally.

You had kids and needed to focus your energy on them and on enjoying those moments. If it took a few years for you to find a space in your life where you could tackle the weight, that’s fine. Be proud of yourself for doing it and continue to live well.

Sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to this story. I did not lose a loved one but went through a series of very stressful events and life changes over the last three years and despite having been a formerly very fit person I just could not get my act together and the weight kept creeping up. Two months ago I finally felt ready to find my former self, hired a coach and started working on those 20 extra pounds I accumulated (almost 10 down now). Before that I just was not ready. OP, you might have been in the same spot. Losing weight requires focus and yours was elsewhere in the past few years. Celebrate what you have achieved instead of beating yourself up.

[Anonymous]

I haven’t lost the weight yet and feel guilty all the time that I am wasting my youth being fat. I gained a lot of weight during pregnancy and breastfeeding.

[Anonymous]

Let it go! Congratulations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband passed suddenly when I was 29. I gained 20 pounds in the 6 months after (I was slightly underweight to begin with though). I held onto that weight for the next 1.5 years, telling myself my body just needed it and it’s how it’s going to be. Then I got tired of feeling stuffed into my clothes. I hadn’t been in the mood to shop since he died, so my clothes were all from 20 pounds prior.

I lost 12 pounds in 12 weeks with very minimal effort - no change in my exercise, just tracked macros. I maintained that loss for the holiday month, then lost another 6 pounds in January. It was so easy to do and I felt so good again that I beat myself up for the year and a half I was so heavy.

Reflecting on it now, I needed that freedom. I needed to eat a pint of ice cream and cry sometimes. I needed to order dinner because I was just too worn down to make it to the grocery store after work. I needed to spend a day making cupcakes with my niece. My life went through a major change and I prioritized things that healed me mentally.

You had kids and needed to focus your energy on them and on enjoying those moments. If it took a few years for you to find a space in your life where you could tackle the weight, that’s fine. Be proud of yourself for doing it and continue to live well.

Sorry for your loss. I can totally relate to this story. I did not lose a loved one but went through a series of very stressful events and life changes over the last three years and despite having been a formerly very fit person I just could not get my act together and the weight kept creeping up. Two months ago I finally felt ready to find my former self, hired a coach and started working on those 20 extra pounds I accumulated (almost 10 down now). Before that I just was not ready. OP, you might have been in the same spot. Losing weight requires focus and yours was elsewhere in the past few years. Celebrate what you have achieved instead of beating yourself up.

PP and you are right. I should look at those 5 years as time I spent nourishing and creating my children. I just hope I don't regain it and can continue to be healthy for them. Thanks to everyone for the well wishes. - op