How do you know what “league” you’re in the dating market?

[Anonymous]

A big part of dating is figuring out what league you’re in so you can target people in your league or slightly above. As a woman I can’t tell. I’m a mixed package I think. But generally, what are the guidelines?

[Anonymous]

If you get dates with the people you want to date then stop worrying about leagues, you are dating within your league.

[Anonymous]

It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

[Anonymous]

It's not purely innate.

Beauty and "hotness" are standards that are indeed culturally determined. That is clear to anyone who pays attention to changing norms over the decades as well as the impact the internet.

The US has had a bigger impact on global standards in the age of the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Go after ? Do women actually have to do the ‘wooing’ today ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you get dates with the people you want to date then stop worrying about leagues, you are dating within your league.

This is true. Also, despite what people might say, personality matters. You can definitely date ‘hotter’ if you have a good personality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you get dates with the people you want to date then stop worrying about leagues, you are dating within your league.

This is true. Also, despite what people might say, personality matters. You can definitely date ‘hotter’ if you have a good personality.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

... if the guy is in category #2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's not purely innate.

Beauty and "hotness" are standards that are indeed culturally determined. That is clear to anyone who pays attention to changing norms over the decades as well as the impact the internet.

The US has had a bigger impact on global standards in the age of the internet.

Oh, nonsense. Nothing has changed in the "age of the internet" any more than it did in the "age of the magazine, the age of the movie or the age of photography."

Adonis and Aphrodite are attributable to the ancients as to what attracts women and men to one another. Nothing has changed in thousands of years.

[Anonymous]

Who determines "hotness" these days: men or women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Go after ? Do women actually have to do the ‘wooing’ today ?

No, what I meant was, if you like a man, you signal to him with confidence and without ambiguity you would like to get to know him better. He'll get the message and pursue you.

That's the way this has worked since the days of Adonis and Aphrodite.

[Anonymous]

If your asking what league you’re in, you’re probably in the lower tier...

[Anonymous]

I am in whatever league I put myself in. I tried being in a lower tier, and that was horrible. I am bored when dating men in a "high" tier. Our problems and our focus is not the same and I have a hard time caring about their non-problems.

I make my own way, make my own decisions. And men of any tier find me intriguing for various reasons. I give them good reason to in my career and personal life. So I don't worry about it. It depends on what I'm interested on that day.

I will eventually make a commitment. And that man will be in a comparable "tier" to me. He will be kind to me and others. And he'll have a few other things he wants to accomplish in his life (and have the ability to see some of them through). I want to watch what he does a bit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

I look at couples, and the woman is the cuter one 90+% of the time. Maybe the cute women prioritize other things more that cuteness/hotness.