How do you know what “league” you’re in the dating market?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big part of dating is figuring out what league you’re in so you can target people in your league or slightly above. As a woman I can’t tell. I’m a mixed package I think. But generally, what are the guidelines?

Mentally well people don’t think that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Go after ? Do women actually have to do the ‘wooing’ today ?

I'm a married man, married to a woman who expects me to almost always do the "wooing" (and that *is* the word she uses), but it is pretty damn appealing to be wooed by a woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Not everyone abides by European beauty standards.

Most of the men in the world like women a bit heavier to a lot heavier than Aphrodite.
Asian men that white women see as effeminate has no issues dating in Asia.
Black women who struggle to date in the US with its focus on whiteness have better luck in other countries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Not everyone abides by European beauty standards.

Most of the men in the world like women a bit heavier to a lot heavier than Aphrodite.
Asian men that white women see as effeminate has no issues dating in Asia.
Black women who struggle to date in the US with its focus on whiteness have better luck in other countries.

Did op say they live in Europe, or are you saying American and European beauty standards are on and the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Go after ? Do women actually have to do the ‘wooing’ today ?

Yes, put some work into the relationship. Stop expecting a man to cater to you as if you are a child seeking a father figure. Men take notice of woman who also invest in them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not purely innate.

Beauty and "hotness" are standards that are indeed culturally determined. That is clear to anyone who pays attention to changing norms over the decades as well as the impact the internet.

The US has had a bigger impact on global standards in the age of the internet.

Oh, nonsense. Nothing has changed in the "age of the internet" any more than it did in the "age of the magazine, the age of the movie or the age of photography."

Adonis and Aphrodite are attributable to the ancients as to what attracts women and men to one another. Nothing has changed in thousands of years.

You are not well informed. Not purely innate, and standards for sexual attractiveness have indeed changed over time. Read a history book. Or two. The internet created a global culture and had a dramatic effect on reshaping standards for beauty and sexual attractiveness. If you are Gen X or older you have seen this yourself if you are someone who pays attention to culture or travels.

[Anonymous]

Or you could read a book about the impact of pornography. I mean this isn't hard to see if you are not completely obtuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Not everyone abides by European beauty standards.

Most of the men in the world like women a bit heavier to a lot heavier than Aphrodite.
Asian men that white women see as effeminate has no issues dating in Asia.
Black women who struggle to date in the US with its focus on whiteness have better luck in other countries.

As a black woman I found white German men can't get enough of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I look at couples, and the woman is the cuter one 90+% of the time. Maybe the cute women prioritize other things more that cuteness/hotness.

Women tend to run a little deeper than men, IME, so I’d say you’re correct that they have other, important, priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Go after ? Do women actually have to do the ‘wooing’ today ?

I'm a married man, married to a woman who expects me to almost always do the "wooing" (and that *is* the word she uses), but it is pretty damn appealing to be wooed by a woman.

Right! I woo'ed my husband. Wine and dined him with court seats, dinners, trips. He never had a woman plan or put in effort the way I did. I knew I wanted him and I went after it. Successful women know what they want and how to get it. Don't sell yourself short ladies.

[Anonymous]

I know exactly where I stand as a man but I've learned to go after women I know are.out of my league because it works. I can't account for another person's taste.

[Anonymous]

I was horrified when I found that some men actually do rate women on a scale, but that scale and consequently your "league" varies by guy so don't be afraid to go after a guy you are interested in pursuing. Also some guys don't have a physical type. Their girlfriends run the gamut physically so you never know how he may see you. Jacob Elordi dated Joey King, Zendaya, and now Kaia Gerber- true they are all beautiful but all rather different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's not purely innate.

Beauty and "hotness" are standards that are indeed culturally determined. That is clear to anyone who pays attention to changing norms over the decades as well as the impact the internet.

The US has had a bigger impact on global standards in the age of the internet.

Oh, nonsense. Nothing has changed in the "age of the internet" any more than it did in the "age of the magazine, the age of the movie or the age of photography."

Adonis and Aphrodite are attributable to the ancients as to what attracts women and men to one another. Nothing has changed in thousands of years.

This is pretty much exactly right. Very little has changed over thousands of years, and standards of beauty and hotness are remarkably consistent across cultures and continents. That applies to both bodily proportions and facial features. There is not that much variation. The idea that beauty is some arbitrary product of "culture" is one of those contemporary shibboleths that some people passionately, often angrily, insist is true in a vain attempt to convince themselves and others that it is true. Fashions in clothing and hair do change, but the physical attractiveness of humans not nearly so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

Not everyone abides by European beauty standards.

Most of the men in the world like women a bit heavier to a lot heavier than Aphrodite.
Asian men that white women see as effeminate has no issues dating in Asia.
Black women who struggle to date in the US with its focus on whiteness have better luck in other countries.

Did op say they live in Europe, or are you saying American and European beauty standards are on and the same?

I think Western Europe is still a better dating market for black women than the US.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's simpler to categorize men: (1) Are they focused on what American culture defines as hot or (2) Are they open-minded about the type of woman they might have a spark of connection with and fall in love with.

What percentage of men fall in category 1? It's an interesting question!

Hotness is not about, "American culture." It's innate.

Women and men who turn heads on Main Street, USA, also turn heads on each of the world's continents.

We are at are happiest when we're with someone roughly as cute as we are (and everyone is cute in one way or another).

As a man, I'd encourage women to aim a little higher than you think you should, because you sometimes sell yourselves short. Go after that cute guy - you may be pleasantly surprised.

Best of luck

I look at couples, and the woman is the cuter one 90+% of the time. Maybe the cute women prioritize other things more that cuteness/hotness.

This is because women have way more ways to make themselves look better in terms of hair, makeup, and fashion style. They can take the plainest woman out there and with a makeover have her look 10x better.