I need an attitude adjustment after receiving this $$$ gift.

[Anonymous]

My husband just gave me a pair of large diamond earrings for a holiday gift. I'm trying to smile and show gratitude but inside I feel upset; he probably spent $5,000 on them, which was not the best choice in a year that we need some home renovations and new computers, and our child's daycare has become very expensive. I know I'm being a jerk but this was not wise, and he clearly has not been listening to me!

He has asked me numerous times over the last couple of years about diamond earrings and I have repeatedly told him I didn't want any. I have good small fakes that I'm comfortable with because I don't have to pay to insure them and I don't worry about losing them. And I just don't care about jewelry. I have told him - repeatedly - that the only thing I might want is a thin eternity band to match the band of my engagement ring.

I feel like he doesn't listen to me and instead does what he thinks a man is supposed to do. He has no idea what is important to me and what is not. Even when I explicitly tell him.

[Anonymous]

I don’t wear jewelry but get only jewelry as gifts from DH. I gave up.

[Anonymous]

Yes, my mother had the exact same problem. My father would run out the day before and get her jewelry.

Feel free to be painfully direct, OP. He’s not going to get it otherwise. Suggest returning the diamonds and getting something you want that’s more reasonable, and remind him of the big ticket items.

[Anonymous]

I would be so unhappy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Yes, my mother had the exact same problem. My father would run out the day before and get her jewelry.

Feel free to be painfully direct, OP. He’s not going to get it otherwise. Suggest returning the diamonds and getting something you want that’s more reasonable, and remind him of the big ticket items.

OP here - the posts happen to hurt my ears so I have a reason to inquire about an exchange anyway, but he can't get any money refunded. If I get a $2,000 ring he'll have a $3,000 credit at the store (which is in New York; he ordered this remotely from the jeweler who made my engagement ring).

[Anonymous]

I would return them and use the money as I see fit.

[Anonymous]

You're not being a jerk at all, OP. I would be furious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're not being a jerk at all, OP. I would be furious.

Yep. Especially after hearing that they couldn’t be returned.

[Anonymous]

It's selfish and lazy of HIM. He didn't listen to you. Its easy to just go out and plunk down your cc and buy some jewelry. No thought at all to this gift.

[Anonymous]

What?? They can't be returned??? Why not?

[Anonymous]

This is why DH and I don’t exchange gifts anymore for any occasion. The most is if I go to the grocery store and get him a treat and Vice verse. Then it’s genuinely a nice little surprise. This rule was instituted after we bought each other expensive gifts that the other didn’t want. We have realized that the great joy of adulthood is buying yourself things you want when you want them and can afford them. We love doing it this way and save so much money.

[Anonymous]

We have a $50 limit between DH and me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would be so unhappy.

I would be thrilled!

[Anonymous]

I would be furious as well, OP. No advice but lots of empathy.

[Anonymous]

I can't get over how unappreciative some of you are! Everything doesn't have to be practical, planned, and requested by you. I love receiving special, surprise gifts that my husband has picked out. We both do that.