Me again. OP I know a lot of folks here seem to think this relationship is all about sex, but I know it couldn't be that, because your guy could pay for sex without all of the risk that comes with having a steady and at a much cheaper rate. So what else do you think you fulfill/provide for him that wifey doesn't? Why do YOU think he needs to have a "kept" woman? And how often does he spend the night? |
I don't know how to answer that without everyone thinking I'm slamming the wife. She takes the kids to her parents a lot, their beach house in the summer, and goes to spas with girlfriends for long weekends and stuff, so sometimes it's three nights in a row, sometimes not for as long as two weeks at most. |
I want to address this. My SIL quit her job some years ago and decided to stay at home and she has no kids while her DH works. Judging from this thread a lot of women apparently think my SIL is the equivalent of a prostitute like op. However when my BIL was diagnosed w ms and his health took a huge nosedive my SIL is right there waiting on him hand and foot and she will be there for him no matter what and that is the difference between her and "people" like op. |
OP has this thread changed your views on your behavior at all? |
+1 on ted talk. I too, was thinking of posting that but you beat me to it. That should help op! |
A lot of people may want to make that comparison between your SIL and the Op but the reality is the situations are as dissimilar as night/day. If your SIL just quite her job w/o even talking with BIL about it and just ASSumed that he would be cool with being the sole breadwinner - that would be an incredibly presumptuous and selfish move on her part. Even so, that would be a marital issue that SIL/BIL would have to hash out together. And they could divorce and divide up assets if they couldn't work it out. In contrast, there is absolutely no commitment between Op and her married boyfriend. Zero, Zip, None. If he decided today to trade her in on a newer model or just to end things with her and refocus his energy on his family - that would be it. This guy has 100% total control over this whole situation - he alone decides if the Op has a roof over her head, money to live, a man to care about. |
OP, you did an enormous public service. I bet a record number of high-earning husbands saw action from their low-sex drive SAHM wives in the past three days. They all owe you flowers! |
She met him when she was ***19***. How would she know? |
Just because she hasn't had a decade of short term relationships and one night stands to compare doesn't mean she can't recognize what she likes. |
Ha. I wasn't talking about ONS and sordid flings... Indications are that Op has never experienced a committed relationship where she and the guy are head over heels in love with each other and 100% into each other. Exclusive. Makes a rather BIG difference. |
OP, you've said that you wouldn't like it if your husband did this to you and that the wife probably wouldn't be happy if confronted with the facts. So, you clearly know this is hurtful for the woman who is in the wife position.
You also seem to think you bear no culpability. That the responsibility is all his. You've noted, I believe, that you didn't take a vow. Would you feel more responsibility if this man was the husband of your sister or of a close friend? Would you still engage in this behavior if you liked or even loved the wife? If you would not, how do you explain the difference? Genuinely curious. |
Why are we still pretending OP is who she pretends to be? None of what she says is internally consistent. I can't believe that sixty some odd pages have been wasted on this prank. |
I know. But it's been fun anyway. |
"Indications are that Op has never experienced a committed relationship where she and the guy are head over heels in love with each other and 100% into each other. Exclusive. Makes a rather BIG difference."
What percentage of DCUM marriages fit this description? |
The majority of 24 year olds have never experienced what you described. Doesn't mean they can't recognize great sex. |