RTO and No Childcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

I'm confused. Have you been working from home full-time with a daycare aged child? Because that's not allowed. Everyone I know that teleworks but has an infant or toddler has someone caring for them during the day.

You trolls have been warned.

Nope, not a troll - anyone that is stressed out about having to find DAYCARE right now is in the wrong and they know it. I absolutely understand the people stressing about before and after care. It's impossible to find elementary-aged before and after care, the waitlists are long, but someone who has a child under the age of 5 who is looking for DAYCARE should have had their child in daycare this whole time. WTF?

My kids aren’t in daycare anymore, but before the pandemic their daycare was 7 am - 6 pm. That one closed and the neighborhood daycare we could find (which was 8-6 pre-pandemic) reduced its hours to 8-5. We both work from home so could stagger work schedules and cover this - or take a little leave now and then if needed - but we couldn’t have managed this schedule if we were commuting.

look harder, there is more than 1 daycare option

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

You can keep them in their current daycare for the time being. Are they not in daycare?

If your new office is a couple of hours from your day care, which it easily can be, that's not going to work because it's not going to cover enough hours.

Do you normally have these types of problems understanding basic things?

A couple of hours?!?! Then you move. No one sane commutes a couple of hours every single day, you look for housing (and child care) closer to your work.

I work 7 miles from my job, and it takes me an hour to get there. That’s a two hour commute each day. Are you in some rural area?

My daycare was open from 6:30am - 6:00pm. Wasn't ever a problem when I had a one hour commute each day. When my husband was traveling, I dropped my children off at 7:00, picked them up at 5:30. When my older one started K, we got her on the list for before and after care as early as possible and same thing, they were open from 6:30am to 6:00pm. Two pick ups and drop offs was challenging, but I made it work. There was only one day when I was stuck in massive traffic and didn't arrive until 6:15. I called and explained and they stayed late for me, I gave the woman who stayed a $50 gift card the next day. You'll find a way!

When was this? A lot of day cares cut back hours due to staffing issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

I'm confused. Have you been working from home full-time with a daycare aged child? Because that's not allowed. Everyone I know that teleworks but has an infant or toddler has someone caring for them during the day.

You trolls have been warned.

Nope, not a troll - anyone that is stressed out about having to find DAYCARE right now is in the wrong and they know it. I absolutely understand the people stressing about before and after care. It's impossible to find elementary-aged before and after care, the waitlists are long, but someone who has a child under the age of 5 who is looking for DAYCARE should have had their child in daycare this whole time. WTF?

My kids aren’t in daycare anymore, but before the pandemic their daycare was 7 am - 6 pm. That one closed and the neighborhood daycare we could find (which was 8-6 pre-pandemic) reduced its hours to 8-5. We both work from home so could stagger work schedules and cover this - or take a little leave now and then if needed - but we couldn’t have managed this schedule if we were commuting.

look harder, there is more than 1 daycare option

There are very few 0-18 month day care spots. I tried hard to find one, thought I did and signed/deposit/start date and they gave my spot away even though I was willing to pay before we needed it. I ended up having to quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TL/DR but seeing all of the ill adjusted kids in my school right now makes perfect sense with the several pages I did read. All of these people working while “raising” kids at home! Sorry, but you can’t have it both ways. Something WILL suffer. Clearly many of you all have opted for unlimited screens as babysitters…and it shows in your kids. They have NO attention span, can’t have normal conversations with adults, and all they want to do is get back onto their laptops for games/youtube/chat/etc. Kids do not raise themselves and there is a limited window of time for engaging with them. It makes me sick to think of all of these parents “fitting in a few more hours” while their kids are just scrolling away. The answer is NOT more school or endless time/money for daycare. Ugh. They need quality time with a PARENT, real conversations, play, connection, stories of their ancestors, fun quality time. You don’t need the expensive zip code and fancy cars, feds. Consider a move to a cheaper area where you can afford for one parent to SAH and be present until your kids are more self-sufficient. *sigh*

Shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

You can keep them in their current daycare for the time being. Are they not in daycare?

If your new office is a couple of hours from your day care, which it easily can be, that's not going to work because it's not going to cover enough hours.

Do you normally have these types of problems understanding basic things?

A couple of hours?!?! Then you move. No one sane commutes a couple of hours every single day, you look for housing (and child care) closer to your work.

I work 7 miles from my job, and it takes me an hour to get there. That’s a two hour commute each day. Are you in some rural area?

My daycare was open from 6:30am - 6:00pm. Wasn't ever a problem when I had a one hour commute each day. When my husband was traveling, I dropped my children off at 7:00, picked them up at 5:30. When my older one started K, we got her on the list for before and after care as early as possible and same thing, they were open from 6:30am to 6:00pm. Two pick ups and drop offs was challenging, but I made it work. There was only one day when I was stuck in massive traffic and didn't arrive until 6:15. I called and explained and they stayed late for me, I gave the woman who stayed a $50 gift card the next day. You'll find a way!

When was this? A lot of day cares cut back hours due to staffing issues.

Literally two years ago these were still their hours. My spouse travels for work, he got maybe a 6 month break from travel during Covid, but it has picked back up significantly, and we've had childcare this whole time (we started daycare again as soon as they opened, which was July 2020). We made it work then, we make it work now with ES-aged kids and after care. It will be hard, but I am confident you'll find a way!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

I'm confused. Have you been working from home full-time with a daycare aged child? Because that's not allowed. Everyone I know that teleworks but has an infant or toddler has someone caring for them during the day.

You trolls have been warned.

Nope, not a troll - anyone that is stressed out about having to find DAYCARE right now is in the wrong and they know it. I absolutely understand the people stressing about before and after care. It's impossible to find elementary-aged before and after care, the waitlists are long, but someone who has a child under the age of 5 who is looking for DAYCARE should have had their child in daycare this whole time. WTF?

The daycare post was in reference to commute time and the new work location: "a daycare that aligns with commute" when you don't know where you'll be reporting. Read.

I’m the PP who mentioned daycare and not knowing office location. My kids are school aged and I have a WAH spouse so we’ll be fine if we stagger hours, it will just be less time with my family despite the fact I chose this as a telework-friendly job 12 years ago but I digress.

I was simply replying to the person above me who mentioned how they found daycare and figured everything out. And I was pointing out reasons it may not be so easy to find daycare quickly.

I wasn’t implying that anyone is working without daycare. But you have no idea if someone’s daycare doesn’t stay open late enough to accommodate a long commute (I’ve had friends tell me about childcare hours being shortened). Some people on here have been swearing the market will adapt and they’ll stay open later again, so we’ll see.

Or perhaps the daycare they’re using would no longer be convenient if their office location is now changing compared to where they went into an office pre-COVID.

There are so many variables, and childcare plus dual spouse career choices is usually a logic puzzle to begin with. So no, I’m not saying anyone is working without daycare. Just that we aren’t simply going back to pre-COVID life and that childcare isn’t always easy to coordinate with short notice.

[Anonymous]

^^and to add I saw someone mention not getting daycare near your office and I agree, but back when my kids were little I wouldn’t have wanted to drive to a daycare 10 min. in the opposite direction of my commute (racking an extra 20 min of driving). We looked for a daycare near our house that was reasonably en route to our offices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

You can keep them in their current daycare for the time being. Are they not in daycare?

If your new office is a couple of hours from your day care, which it easily can be, that's not going to work because it's not going to cover enough hours.

Do you normally have these types of problems understanding basic things?

A couple of hours?!?! Then you move. No one sane commutes a couple of hours every single day, you look for housing (and child care) closer to your work.

I work 7 miles from my job, and it takes me an hour to get there. That’s a two hour commute each day. Are you in some rural area?

My daycare was open from 6:30am - 6:00pm. Wasn't ever a problem when I had a one hour commute each day. When my husband was traveling, I dropped my children off at 7:00, picked them up at 5:30. When my older one started K, we got her on the list for before and after care as early as possible and same thing, they were open from 6:30am to 6:00pm. Two pick ups and drop offs was challenging, but I made it work. There was only one day when I was stuck in massive traffic and didn't arrive until 6:15. I called and explained and they stayed late for me, I gave the woman who stayed a $50 gift card the next day. You'll find a way!

When was this? A lot of day cares cut back hours due to staffing issues.

Literally two years ago these were still their hours. My spouse travels for work, he got maybe a 6 month break from travel during Covid, but it has picked back up significantly, and we've had childcare this whole time (we started daycare again as soon as they opened, which was July 2020). We made it work then, we make it work now with ES-aged kids and after care. It will be hard, but I am confident you'll find a way!

I have a teen and stay home so not sure what you are comfident about. I feel for the parents, including my husband who now miss pretty much everything as their 10 hour days are now 12+ hour days. You are lucky you have a 9-5 job with no take home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I remember hustling pick up and drop off logistics with DH during our kids early years. Both of us had inflexible jobs. Very stressful and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

We are supposed to evolve. Just because I did it 15 years ago doesn’t mean today’s generation should have to as well. Why are Americans so infatuated with punishment?

Once again, no one is. It’s the whining and the hysterics of it all.

If we could wave our magic wand, we’d keep at least regular telework, if not full telework. But it’s not happening and a lot of people here are saying it’s impossible to figure out childcare. That their lives are being turned upside down. It’s perspective that is missing.

My kids were in full time daycare, and then before and after care, and yeah it’s expensive. And there are wait lists. BTDT. The hours with a commute are tough too, so I found a daycare that was closer to my office so we could manage the daycare’s hours. I have a long commute and getting my toddler out of bed at 6:30am was hard.

We staggered our tours of duty, we used a lot of leave, we hired high schooler to shuttle one kid to her sport when we weren’t home in time to get her there. We had zero telework then.

I don’t begrudge anyone who doesn’t have to do that. But reality is this is what’s happening now.

Some of us don’t even know where our office will be so it’s hard to pick a daycare that aligns with commute. Not to mention people normally get on daycare waitlists while they’re still pregnant.

I'm confused. Have you been working from home full-time with a daycare aged child? Because that's not allowed. Everyone I know that teleworks but has an infant or toddler has someone caring for them during the day.

You trolls have been warned.

Nope, not a troll - anyone that is stressed out about having to find DAYCARE right now is in the wrong and they know it. I absolutely understand the people stressing about before and after care. It's impossible to find elementary-aged before and after care, the waitlists are long, but someone who has a child under the age of 5 who is looking for DAYCARE should have had their child in daycare this whole time. WTF?

The daycare post was in reference to commute time and the new work location: "a daycare that aligns with commute" when you don't know where you'll be reporting. Read.

I’m the PP who mentioned daycare and not knowing office location. My kids are school aged and I have a WAH spouse so we’ll be fine if we stagger hours, it will just be less time with my family despite the fact I chose this as a telework-friendly job 12 years ago but I digress.

I was simply replying to the person above me who mentioned how they found daycare and figured everything out. And I was pointing out reasons it may not be so easy to find daycare quickly.

I wasn’t implying that anyone is working without daycare. But you have no idea if someone’s daycare doesn’t stay open late enough to accommodate a long commute (I’ve had friends tell me about childcare hours being shortened). Some people on here have been swearing the market will adapt and they’ll stay open later again, so we’ll see.

Or perhaps the daycare they’re using would no longer be convenient if their office location is now changing compared to where they went into an office pre-COVID.

There are so many variables, and childcare plus dual spouse career choices is usually a logic puzzle to begin with. So no, I’m not saying anyone is working without daycare. Just that we aren’t simply going back to pre-COVID life and that childcare isn’t always easy to coordinate with short notice.

There was not enough child care before covid, let alone after. The market cannot adapt as they don't have enough workers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!

+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.

Well said

+1
I work from home and still have a nanny in the afternoons bc no one can sincerely work and do the after school stuff. They are dropping one of the balls. We have some government clients, and most of them are hard to reach from about 2pm on and don’t respond to emails until the next day. I’m as anti-trump as anyone but happy for this graft to be cut.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!

+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.

Well said

+1
I work from home and still have a nanny in the afternoons bc no one can sincerely work and do the after school stuff. They are dropping one of the balls. We have some government clients, and most of them are hard to reach from about 2pm on and don’t respond to emails until the next day. I’m as anti-trump as anyone but happy for this graft to be cut.

made up a lot of assumptions there to satisfy your supposed anti-trump narrative.

[Anonymous]

I just sent my supervisor an email indicating I will have to take leave most days until my childcare situation is addressed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apparently I was in the minority, but my ES age kid did aftercare even though we had a hybrid schedule / someone is WFH most days. I don’t want my kid around when I am still working!

+1. DH and I work in private sector and one or the other is WFH every day. We still have a nanny for after school. If we couldn’t afford a nanny we would have signed up for aftercare at one of the 1,000 karate places or tutoring centers that offers them.

I have a hard time believing all these ESers are so independent after school. The fact is, the WFH parents are barely paying attention to work in the afternoons because they are transporting their children to activities, supervising them at home, etc. Which is fine if they can make it work (eg logging back in at night to compensate). But it’s a benefit they were taking advantage of, not something they were entitled to long term. So they shouldn’t act like the rug was pulled out from under them. They should have had childcare all along.

Well said

+1
I work from home and still have a nanny in the afternoons bc no one can sincerely work and do the after school stuff. They are dropping one of the balls. We have some government clients, and most of them are hard to reach from about 2pm on and don’t respond to emails until the next day. I’m as anti-trump as anyone but happy for this graft to be cut.

If the fed employees work 6-2:30, a super common schedule, then it makes perfect sense that they're hard to reach after 2pm. And I promise it's not going to get *easier* to reach them with RTO.

[Anonymous]

I’m sorry if this has been discussed in previous pages or threads.

Are parents or organizing themselves and speaking to the before and after care programs that are run through the schools? I’m aware that before Covid those spots would often time fill upbut after Covid, many of those programs were cut and staff positions were eliminated so there were even less of them. If parents petitioned for a return to pre-Covid hours, capacity and staff ratios, it might help alleviate some of the childcare needs.

[Anonymous]

I work in a different level of government that is still allowing a lot of teleworking. Personally, I have absolutely been paying for FT child care this whole time with the exception of the first months of the pandemic.

It's become impossible to reach most employees by phone. There was never a requirement to have calls forwarded so people are just not answering their office phones or leaving an alternate number. It's ridiculous.

I am fine with having telework but the problem is the total lack of accountability or consequences.