Kid misses old house terribly, what can I do?
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Anonymous
| We just moved from our TH to a SFH four miles from the old house. My kid keeps on telling me she misses the old house terribly, and she doesn’t want to be in the new one. I asked what she missed about the old one, she said just everything... She asked why we had to move, I told her it was too small for us. Then she cried and said that it was enough for her... she’s eight and she will probably get over it. But her missing the old house breaks my heart. I also miss it because we had such good time there. But we have to move on... what can I do to help her less sad (I’m not very interested in bribing her because there is no end to it...) |
Anonymous
| Can you do something special for her in the new house? Let her paint a wall in her room a special color or make a chalkboard wall? Something fun that she didn't have in the old house. |
Anonymous
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How long has it been?
Why can't you just let her be sad and share in the loss with her? |
Anonymous
Do you have nice quality pictures from the listing? You could make her a photo book to remember it by. We moved when I was a little older than that and I remember being really upset. But I did get over it eventually! So will she. |
Anonymous
This is OP. I agree. I should just give it time. Seeing her sad breaks my heart because we worked so hard to get this house and we want to make her happy... |
Anonymous
Thank you. That’s very helpful suggestion. |
Anonymous
This. Allow her to be sad about moving. Are you sure she isn't pressing your buttons a bit? |
Anonymous
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This may just be manifestation of the overall anxiety/depression due to covid situation. The move just provided a material expression of it so to speak.
I would let her have a little more social life if you are super strict about quarantining, maybe go to a store together and choose some stuff for her room etc. |
Anonymous
| What was wrong with your old place? Why did you need to move? You can highlight what the problems were that led to you needing to get out. |
Anonymous
| Just let her be sad. We don't have to solve every single negative emotion our kids have. They need to learn to navigate them. |
Anonymous
| Can you paint and set up her room like it was in the old house? My son was really anxious about moving so I painted his room the same color, used the same curtains, etc. and it seemed to help. Also maybe plan something special fun for the new house? Like picking out a play set for the back yard? |
Anonymous
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OP it’s normal to mourn the passing of the old stage of our life even if the new one is great. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t like the new house or won’t, or that it was the wrong decision. I think it’s perfectly reasonable to be sad about the end of one era at the same time as the new one is good.
I agree about painting her room or picking out new furniture. Planning a garden for the Spring? Planning a party for next summer? |
Anonymous
She will be happy. She just hasn't made those happy memories yet. It's really a credit to you. You made home a good place for her all these years. |
Anonymous
| Take the time to enjoy what is better about the location. In our case it means better trails and closer to grandma. The more she sees why you made the choice, the more she will get it. It's ok to be sad but life is about moving on. |
Anonymous
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Another vote for let her be sad about it. If you try to get her to stop talking about it she will still be sad - just won’t tell you. It is really normal if your family does not move all the time.
I missed my childhood home (moved in 6th grade) until college maybe although it dampened over time. We moved to our current house when my kids were 5 and 8 - the oldest still misses the old house occasionally but it lessened after the first couple years. |